I’m saying goodbye to the possibility of you and me, not that we had any, to be honest.
Goodbye to any possibility of a love story with you. Goodbye to the “once upon a time” and “happily ever after” that had never been inked on any piece of paper, or on any surface for that matter.
Goodbye to any possibility of dates. Kite-flying, going to the museum, watching a basketball game, surfing the waves in La Union or Baler, climbing a mountain, visiting a dog café, roaming around the bookstore, and driving to the North or South and just forget about the rest of the world for a while.
Goodbye to any possibility of the little things. Sending photos and videos of anything that could make the other laugh, the little notes that we’d slip into each other’s pockets, the random gifts we’d give each other on normal days, the silly banters and inside jokes we’d have, the “good morning” and “good night” texts and everything in between.
Goodbye to any possibility of the big things. The surprises we’d pull off for each other, the lengths we’d go through just to put a smile on each other’s face; me supporting you in every game you play and being proud of what you’ve done because I know you’re good at it; and you letting me drag you to my favorite team’s game even though you’d rather support yours.
Goodbye to any possibility of misunderstandings and disagreements. Of jealousy, of having different views on topics that deeply matter to us, of counting and comparing each other’s mistakes, of letting our pride get in the way.
Goodbye to any possibility of us becoming better versions of ourselves. Of us learning to respect a completely opposite opinion from ours, of putting ourselves in the other’s shoes before jumping into conclusions, of how compromise can save a relationship, of sacrificing one’s happiness for the other.
Goodbye to any possibility of butterflies, sparks, and fireworks.
Goodbye to any possibility of knowing each other on a deeper level. On late-night conversations that would continue until the first rays of sunlight peek through the clouds; on knowing what tickles the fancy of the other, our greatest fears, our ambitions; on what pisses the other off, on what could make the other smile, laugh, cry, or if we’re lucky, feel all of those at the same time.
Goodbye to any possibility of making you happy. For I truly know deep in my heart and in the littlest corners of my brain, for all that I have to give, nothing can compare to the happiness she brings you.
Goodbye to the potential love we could have had. The kind that makes the other want to be the one who loves more; the all-consuming, every-fiber-of-my-being type of love; the kind of love that would not only be between us but with all the people we care about; the kind of love that would resonate from the deepest core of our souls.
Goodbye to the love story that had never been given the chance to begin.