Let me start off by saying this: You are a strong woman. Cliché as it may sound, that’s the absolute truth. No one should take that away from you.
Right now, you may be dwelling on the matter of loneliness. And that’s okay. To realize this would be to accept that you are only human – that you feel, that you understand, that you have moments of vulnerability.
Or you may be having those self-esteem issues again that never seem to go away. They just fade into the darkness, making you believe they’re gone, and then strike when you least expect it. And it will hit you, like a wrecking ball. The impact will be so strong that it will unearth every issue you’ve tried to bury. And tears will all you could respond with. But don’t worry, this is just another roadblock. Over time, you’ll see less and less of it, and you’ll forget about it.
Or you may be at that crisis again, when you see your peers accomplished and all in different aspects of their lives, while you feel helpless and lost as you watch from the sidelines. Here’s a dose of reality: It’s not their fault you feel bad about where you are, and the fault is not totally on you either. We all have different circumstances that hinder us from achieving our goals but the key is to start doing something about it. Never mind that it’s a 9/9 difficulty level of a mountain, or a trail class of 5 with some rock climbing and/or rock scrambling, take that first step. Don’t rush yourself to get to the top. Once in a while, enjoy the view, the pain, the breathlessness, the sun, the rain, and the fact that you’re slowly getting there because you’re pushing yourself towards it.
Or you may be questioning why you are such a mess inside. That despite the facade you parade, you know the state of brokenness you are in. Here’s another dose of reality: No one can fix you but yourself.
Stop waiting for someone to make you feel like you’re not alone. To wait on them would be a disrespect to yourself. You are a work in progress, yes, but isn’t it a widely-accepted fact that the journey is better than the destination? You owe yourself that. When you’ve done the best you can and yet question yourself why you are not enough, don’t. It’s time to stop depending your happiness on others. It’s time to stop basing your worth on a person’s inability to see it. It’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
It’s time to start being the best version of yourself that you could be. It won’t be rainbows, sunshine, butterflies and glitters. It will be difficult – more difficult than a calculus examination, a macroeconomics recitation, a public sector economics presentation, and a thesis defense packed in one day. More difficult than that 9/9 mountain. You will be required to step out of your comfort zone, to do things you’re afraid of, to unintentionally get yourself into crazy situations, to find yourself in the middle of a spontaneous adventure, to take that huge leap of faith. And all of it, all of it, will be worth it.
Get a haircut without asking for anyone’s advice. Buy that box of hair color you’ve imagined youself having. Wear clothes that make you feel good regardless if it’s “in accordance” with your body type. Be sunkissed, or porcelain white, it’s your decision. Put on your favorite make-up whenever you want, or go on “no make-up” days when you’re not feeling it. Travel alone to that island you’ve wanted to go to for so long but didn’t because you had no one to go with. Take yourself out on a date – eat your favorite dish in your favorite restaurant, watch a movie you’ve been meaning to, stay in that coffee shop that has the perfect view of the city lights. People will judge you anyway, might as well be happy with what you choose to do.
Take that journey to self-discovery, and along the way fall in love with what the world has to offer, because it’s such a beautiful world out there. Most of all, fall in love with yourself. Appreciate what and who you have. Accept your flaws. Acknowledge your strengths. Know your worth. Once you do, everything will feel like it’s falling into place.