Lorenzo Jensen III

“I may not be a weatherman but you’re gonna get more than a few inches tonight.”

8. Shaved-and-Sharpied eyebrows.

12. Sandals with socks.

1.
Smell amazing.

1. He tried to force me to wear a red wig.

Brandy—if you meet her, she’s either a redneck or was raised by rednecks. I live in a small town in Texas, 3000 people maybe, and I know at least 10 Brandys.

“I ate chunky peanut butter out of my uncle’s mouth for 20 bucks.”

4. “Bugs had started eating away at him.”