1. They can pee anywhere.
“They can pee anywhere. So many hours spent looking for a clean bathroom. Had I been a dude, I could’ve just stealthily pissed somewhere hidden.”
2. They do none of the work that results in childbirth.
“After observing my husband (i.e., the male species) for over 13 years, I have put a lot of thought into this topic. 1st off) The most obvious, childbirth. We had one amazing night that resulted in our first child. I carried our child for 40 weeks and was sick the entire pregnancy….I literally did 99% the work to bring our child into the world. So there is that. 2) He can hit the gym for 2 weeks and his body is completely transformed….it takes me months to tone up and sculpt myself. 3) He can just roll out of bed, brush his teeth and throw some gel in his hair; he’s ready to go. 4) I am pretty positive the older we get, the better looking he gets. Here I am researching skin care lines with peptides and shit and he doesn’t have a care in the world.”
3. They can feel safe traveling the world alone.
“Being able to travel the world alone without feeling vulnerable.”
4. They don’t get periods or cramps.
“No periods or cramps or pregnancy or any of that.”
5. They get all the pockets.
“Pockets in your damn pants. Aside from good jeans and certain suit trousers, women’s fashion neglects the fuck out of pockets. Sometimes I just wanna keep my stuff in there and not carry a bag around every day…damn handbag conspiracy.”
6. I’d like to know what it’s like to get a blowjob from myself.
“Their dicks. I would love to know what it’s like to get a blowjob from myself.”
7. They are insanely strong.
“How insanely strong men are. When I was with my ex, we’d sometimes play wrestle in bed. He would go easy on me, of course, and sometimes I’d ask him to use his whole strength just so I could see it. He could pin me down completely with less half of his full effort. Made me realize that if I ever ended up in an abusive relationship, whatever guy I’m dating then could kill me with his bare hands if he wanted.”
8. They’re still considered attractive after 40.
“That they can be over 40 and still considered generally attractive.”
9. They can go topless in public.
“I would love to know what it’s like to have my shirt off in public and it not be a big deal. I get so fucking jealous when it’s 90 degrees out and all the dudes in the gym get to take their shirts off. It’s ok, I’ll sit here in a 5lb shirt. It’s cool.”
10. They can feel safe when going out after dark.
“Being able to go out at night or travel solo without being warned about thieves and rapists and assailants creeping around during the night.
I still go out after dark as a woman, but I know my family members worry. The sad part is that they’re right about the existence of thieves and rapists and assailants.”
11. They can go on runs without being catcalled, followed, or assaulted.
“I’m jealous of men’s ability to go on runs without constantly being worried about catcalls, being followed, or being assaulted. I can’t go running without a man with me or I’ll have to put up with some assholes shouting disgusting shit at me. I just want to go on a damn run around my neighborhood.”
12. If you’re a man, you can have the kid without actually having to have it.
“Being able to have a kid without having to expel it from your genitals.
Like I’m not sure I want a kid but the idea of having something growing inside me for months that is totally going to distort my body and make me gain weight and then at the end the worst pain a human can experience is definitely not making it seem much more desirable.
If you’re a man, you can have the kid without actually having to have it. Makes being a parent seem a lot more fun.”
13. They don’t have to shave their body hair.
-Not having to shave most of their body hair as a social standard. (Although from my experience, guys generally get questioned or teased if they do.)
-Being able to go places by myself (in broad daylight or at night) without me/my family having to worry about me being jumped or raped.
-Strangers just feel like touching you less in general.
-Being taken more seriously in management positions by clients and employees.”
14. They do not deal with the physical pain of blood pouring out of their vagina every single month.
“The fact they do not deal with the physical pain of blood pouring out of their vagina every single month, and the worry that you will get when you miss a month and haven’t done any of the sex, and think you’re suddenly pregnant.”
15. They don’t have to carry boobs around.
“No boobs. I get that they’re fun to play with, but they’re big enough that I have to do stretching and strengthening exercises to maintain normal posture that guys have frickin naturally. Man, I’m sick of these things WEIGHING ME DOWN.”
16. They can shave their heads without being seen as a cancer patient.
“The ability to shave their heads without being seen as either a cancer patient or some kind of hyper-rebel.”
“I wish I could grow a beard. Not for all the time, but it would be nice to switch it up a bit.”
18. Takes them five minutes to shower and get ready.
“Being able to be showered and done in 5 minutes instead of spending an hour drying and straightening ridiculously thick, long hair.”
19. I really want to be a guy or I really hate myself.
“Being strong, looking androgynous, not having stupid breasts, no periods, no being badgered by people for not having kids, being tall, athletic…
Either I really want to be a guy or I really hate myself.”