1. I knew a family that would all suck their thumbs when they watched the television.
“I knew a family that would all suck their thumbs when they watched the television. I never went back over to their house.”
2. They ate sticks of butter. Sticks of fucking butter.
“Growing up my best friend’s family didn’t have traditional snacks like fruit rollups, gushers, etc. They ate sticks of butter. Sticks of fucking butter. Whenever they offered me some, I always told them I wasn’t hungry. They had multiple packages of butter in the fridge and freezer. They didn’t consume the entire stick; rather, they would cut off pieces. They weren’t poor, they weren’t fat, but they were fucking crazy.”
3. Her parents skinned her pet cats after they died and put the pelts on her bed.
“I was babysitting for a girl and noticed weird furs on her bed. She explained to me very matter-of-factly that they were her cats. Her parents skinned her pet cats after they died (presumably of natural causes) and put the pelts on her bed. That was the only time I babysat for them.”
4. My friend’s mom used to bust in on her daughter’s friends using the bathroom and quickly snap a picture.
“My friend’s mom used to bust in on her daughter’s friends using the bathroom and quickly snap a picture. She proudly showed me the photo album of random kids using the toilet looking surprised/confused as hell. Didn’t really kick in how fucked-up that was until later in life.”
5. They all watched the same movie multiple times a day, day after day.
“Something that I have witnessed for years only began to hit me as the realization slowly unfolded. A family that I visited frequently with all adult children who still live with their parents would coincidentally always have the same exact movie on every single time I visited. They all huddle around as though they are only watching it for the first time. Once, when I actually stayed over for a longer duration, when the movie finally ended, the TV was finally turned off, only to be turned on again and the play button was then pressed for the same movie, I finally realized that this movie is watched multiple times a day, every single day, almost like a ritual and all the members of the family react the same way to the same scene repeatedly as if they have never seen it before.
The movie was called Just Ask My Children.”
6. They would just each bathe in each other’s dirty water.
“I used to have to go overnight to my babysitter’s house since my dad worked the midnight shift. When it came time for a bath, they would run the water, Dad would have a bath, then mom, then the oldest girl, then the two little ones.
Without ever draining and running new water. They would just each bathe in each other’s dirty water.”
7. The mother who inspected her son’s bowel movements.
“I went to this guy’s house once after school. I wasn’t friends with him, but we were assigned to a project together. We’ll call him Gary. Anyways, we were working on this project when he excused himself to use the restroom. 15 minutes later he returned. A little while later, I decided to use the restroom while he was making snacks.
I walked into the bathroom and behold! Before my eyes, floating like a manatee through the brown estuaries of Florida, was the result of Gary’s earlier bathroom excursion. I shrugged it off—I mean, we all forget at least once, right?—flushed for him, took a leak, flushed again, and went to work on the project.
Gary’s mom gets home from work a couple hours later. She nods to us and says hello politely before heading towards the back of the house. A few seconds later she returns to the kitchen where we were working and screams, ‘WHERE IS IT?’ I jump and am confused, so I shoot a ‘WTF?’ look to Gary. Gary muttered, ‘It wasn’t me, it was him.’ His mom glared at me, huffed, and walked out.
Gary later explained that every day after school he would take a dump and was required to leave it in the toilet so his mom could check it. He wasn’t even sick or anything—she just wanted to check it to make sure he was healthy or something.
I never went back to Gary’s house.
We were 16/17 at the time. I failed to realize this makes it all the weirder.
I don’t know if Gary had German ancestry, but as far as I could tell, his parents were typical Midwestern parents, apart from the shit inspecting.”
8. The family who kept stocking their bomb shelter with fresh food.
“An old friend’s mum was completely paranoid that Al-Qaeda would storm the small British town they lived in….Her solution? Have a massive bomb shelter built under their house. Not the weird part, though. About five times a year, she would spend literally thousands and thousands of pounds on groceries to stock the shelter with. By this, I mean she would genuinely buy out the whole supermarket (it would take her about 20 trips over a week). Not just canned food, but perishables, too…I only found this out by sleeping over on one of her ‘shopping’ days, where food covered literally every single surface of their massive house. My friend just shrugged it off and was ‘oh, yeah, just restocking our bomb shelter! We always need to be ready for invasion’. Da fuck?”
9. The mom who licked chicken wings before serving them to her kids.
“Okay. Brace yourselves.
I went on a picnic/barbecue thing with this family. Mom, dad, three or four kids, i don’t remember. We light the barbecue and start preparing food. The main attraction is chicken wings. Yum. The wings are covered in sauce. They are placed on the barbecue and the mother tends to them. After a forever, the food is ready. She brings the huge platter of chicken wings, sets them on the blanket. Everyone is taking plates, fixing drinks for themselves etc. The woman picks up a chicken wing. Holds it with two hands, as you do, and starts licking it. She’s licking it, turning it over, keeps licking. I think, ‘umm weird, but okay’.’ Then she puts it back on the platter. I am stunned. She picks up another one. Does the same. Puts it back. All the while, she’s talking. Saying things like ‘alright kids, come on, get your chicken wings, eat’.’ As if… she’s preparing the wings for our consumption by licking them. I am still in shock. I can’t say anything. I’m looking at everyone else. No one, none of them is reacting. There is no sign on anyone’s faces that something weird is going on. She licks and licks and licks and they just eat it.
I had salad that day.”
10. The dad who forced his son to kneel and ‘speak the words.’
“I remember it was when Euro 2004 happened. I went to a friend’s house for a sleepover. I was 12 years old then….His dad was there, though. I never liked this man. Anyway, he welcomed us with the most unwelcoming manner, like he hated to have me for sleepover. We proceeded to his room and played on his PS2. After half an hour, his dad enters the room and says, ‘OK I think it’s about time, Michael’ (my friend).
So Michael sits up and unplugs the PS2 and hands it to his father, who takes it and places it on top of a high shelf. Then the dad makes a hug gesture, like welcoming Michael to hug him, saying ‘speak the words’ and Michael hugs his father saying ‘thanks, father, for reminding me to be moderate with distractions from the real life.’
The hug ends, he nods us to go to sleep. I went to sleep totally weirded out due to the happening, and ‘cause my child brain back then felt bad for playing PS2 like it was bad.
The next morning we wake up, eat and greet his mother who was there. Michael goes to his father and knees before him and says, ‘please father can I be distracted for a while?’ His mother was making coffee like it was totally normal to have her son kneel in front of her husband and beg for his joy as if it was a sin. His father looks at me, then to Michael, and goes and brings down the PS2 like it was the worst thing he had to do.
I didn’t even touch the controller. I was totally uncomfortable in there.
Never sleepovered there again.
I totally had a tearful reunion with my room when I returned. Like it was the most sacred place in the world.
I even hugged my PS2.”
11. Her mother made her wear the same clothes for a week before washing them.
“I went to elementary school with this really nice girl. She was the eldest of four girls, all perfectly healthy and beautiful. Kids were laughing at her because she was smelling really bad. I talk to her about it and she told me that her mother makes her wear the same clothes for a week before washing them.
Her mother was really busy praying to have a son. She was in the church at 6am every morning and spend a lot of time there, always praying to have a son. Well, the ‘miracle’ happened and she had a son. That’s all they could talk about. It was like Jesus himself was reborn. It was weird.
Maybe 2-3 days ago I saw her in the bus. The first thing she told me (after not seeing each other for maybe 30 years) was, ‘Did you know I have a brother?’ I was speechless….”
12. They would lie on the couch, and their mom would spoon them, in the quiet, for about 30 minutes each.
“Definitely has to be my neighbors when I was younger.
I hung out and played with these three siblings. They were all pretty normal kids, but the mom seemed kind of clingy.
During the summer we would play outside a lot. Baseball. Hockey. Go-Karts. Swimming. The norm.
Every single day at about 12, the mom would call the kids back to the house, one at a time. They would have to go inside for about a half hour, then come out and the next kid would go in. Never thought too much about it, until one day I was actually in their house with them and found out why she called them.
She had mandatory cuddle time with each of the kids. They would lie on the couch, and she would spoon them, in the quiet, for about 30 minutes each. Weirdest thing I’ve ever encountered.”
13. Onions ‘n’ mayo.
“Went to a friend’s house when I was 17. She asked her mom for a snack and her mom brought out a huge raw white onion completely slathered in mayo on a plate and she and my friend just went at it with their forks like it was filet mignon. Four years later and I still think about that shit from time to time.”
14. If they HAD to poop, he would pass them 5 squares of TP total, and watch them wipe.
“Uhhhh, this is actually abuse, and my mom did call CPS on them, but I’ll say it anyway.
We knew a family growing up that the father would time their showers, literally 15 seconds under cold water, he would stand there and watch and then grab them out, one after the other.
They were not allowed to poop in the house. He had toilet paper for emergencies and guests. If they HAD to poop, he would pass them 5 squares of TP total, and watch them wipe. They trained themselves to only poop at school and church.
Summer would get to be 100 and still not air or fans in their bedroom, no open windows.
Probably about 20 more insane rules. Weird food rules. Very very very sad.”
15. They would literally burn any meat they cooked for dinner.
“I have an ex whose family would literally burn any meat they cooked for dinner. Chicken, fish, steak all completely burned. They were terrified about bacteria on their food. I got them to cook my steak medium well (less burned, but still above well) once, but I got some serious looks of disgust.
The mother also forced me to draft a living will and instructed me on the proper way to seal a room to protect from a very likely chemical attack with duct tape and plastic sheeting.”
16. The mom who kept telling her daughter she needs to dress sluttier.
“I know a woman who was a manager at the restaurant my wife worked at who was living through her 13-year-old girl to an extreme level. The girl would come up to the restaurant from school and her mom would trash her for how shitty her makeup was and ask her how she expected to get Brent or Jason or whoever looking like that. 90% of what she talked about with coworkers was her daughter’s school drama; she would read her texts, give her strategies and things to say, etc. Always trashing her appearance or telling her she needed to dress sluttier before going to the football game and weird shit like that. Talked about how she encouraged boys coming over and how she liked to spy/eavesdrop, and with a twinkle of pride, told us how she walked in daughter’s room recently and found her coming out from under the covers in her bed this boy was in, right in the middle of a possible BJ.”
17. The neighborhood was safe, but they lived in constant fear of a drive-by shooting.
“I was about 7-8…? I used to play with this girl that lived a few houses down and across the street (I live in a cookie-cutter, very safe and fairly decent neighborhood, across the street from the high school). Her mother never let us play outside because ‘there could be a drive-by. Any car we see driving by could be someone with a gun and could very easily shoot us and kill us.’ She never let us play in the living room near the windows, either, for that same reason.
Another time I was over there playing with my friend, and the mom pulled me aside. She pointed to a truck she saw parked outside my house on the curb (my uncle’s truck). She told me that it’s actually probably a burglar and he was inside my house and killing my family at that moment. She wouldn’t let me go home either for the fear of me also getting killed. She finally let me go home after my mom called later and requested I come home for dinner.
That family is still crazy, even thirteen years later.”
18. The mom was afraid of one of them choking and dying, so talking was banned.
“There was a family of girls I went to church with and none of them were allowed to cut their hair. They had to wait until they were sixteen so they wouldn’t get a haircut they’d regret—because the mother had. They also weren’t allowed to talk at the dinner table. One time one of the daughters was laughing at something and coughed on her food. The mom was afraid of one of them choking and dying, so talking was banned. No one told me that when I came over for dinner. I just talked and they all stared at me.”
19. The family who was obsessed with dinner plates.
“I knew a girl in high school who had parents who were obsessed with dinner plates. They had such a huge collection of collectible plates in their house that every room was full of them on display. Their entire house was basically a library set up for these things. Her bedroom was a mattress on the floor surrounded by display cases of plates. You couldn’t even lean on any wall, they were all like this. The last time I went over there, I knocked one off the wall by mistake. I caught it and it didn’t even break, but my god the rage her dad flew into was fucking horrifying. He was inches away from punching me. Never went back! They tried to nervously laugh it off like ‘haha good ole dad being funny hahaha.’ The one time I asked my friend why they had so many she want on a passionate tangent about all the cool plates they had and why they were so awesome, it went on for an hour. I never asked again because hearing about neat dishware for an hour was like torture.
I just looked her up on Facebook. She works now as a Tupperware consultant. Seriously!”
20. They’d dress up large vintage dolls in their own clothing and place them around the house.
“A friend from high school theater used to invite me over to her family’s house all the time. Her mom collected large vintage dolls, like child-sized ballerinas, Victorian girls, and this one overly happy clown. They’d dress it up in their own clothing and place it around the house like it was a family joke that it was ‘alive.’
They also collected and played didgeridoos as a family group. It sounds cool, but they were all pretty odd individuals.”
21. The Jesus Cuckoo Clock.
“The Jesus Cuckoo Clock. I had a good friend in elementary school. They lived in a farm house that looked like it belonged to the Addams Family. Every wall in this house had a crucifix on it. Not a small, hand-held crucifix, These where 2-3 feet tall. On EVERY WALL. Bathroom, bedrooms, closets. They had a room upstairs that we were forbidden to go into, so of course we had to sneak in and see. I didn’t know why it was forbidden, but it basically was a Vatican style church chapel complete with burning offering candles pews, alter and 6-foot-tall crucifix with Jesus hanging on it. But this was not the most WTF thing. They had a cuckoo clock they called the ‘prayer clock.’ The clock had the 12 disciples for the numbers on dial, I never knew what came out of the clock on the hour (probably Jesus). But every single hour that clock would go off. My friend’s mother would round up all the kids and make us write thank you prayers and place them in the ‘prayer jar.’ We had to write down thank-you notes to Jesus for everything we did in the last hour and place them in the jar. If we were playing with Legos and had a snack I would have to write down ‘Thank you Jesus for letting me play Legos and eating string cheese.’ His mom would read them and usually would have us edit them, saying things like ‘you had apple juice too, you don’t think Jesus would be sad if you didn’t thank him for the apple juice, too?’
By about 4th grade I refused to go over anymore, it was just too weird. Especially since their mom had just had a new baby, and they ‘didn’t believe in diapers.’ They let the kid crawl around naked, and piss/shit on everything.
24 years later? What happened to the kids? One (the roaming pissing shitting baby) became a Catholic priest. The second youngest moved out and is a transsexual ‘entertainer,’ and the oldest (my friend) became a programmer in Silicon City. The father eventually left the mother.
Did a quick Google search and found a clock VERY similar. The only difference was theirs was in gold leaf/paint, and the numbers were pictures of the disciples.”
22. Before every meal they would all say the same chant about being a better person and trying your best.
“I went on vacation with my buddy when we were kids. They weren’t religious, but before every meal they would all say the same chant about being a better person and trying your best. It was really creepy because they would all say it in the same monotone voice.
It turned out the mom was just tired of everyone eating before she got to the table, so she made up the tradition.”
23. The twelve kids would get excited over their parents’ ‘motel dates.’
“I knew a guy who was the oldest of 12 children (he was 20 at the time). He told me that a few months after his mom would have a baby his parents would go on a ‘hotel date’ and when they did, all the kids would get excited and talk to each other about if he’s gonna get her pregnant. And then they would all bug the mom about it until a few weeks later when she would announce she was pregnant and all the kids would be so excited about it.”
24. The girl who used her mom’s vibrator to massage her gums.
“When I was about 14 or 15 I would go over to this girl’s house (I am also female) and we would hang out, blah, blah, blah. One day she came out of her parents’ room with something in her mouth. At first I didn’t realize what it was but once she sat back down on the couch, I saw that it was a fucking vibrator. In her mouth. On. I kind of flipped shit and asked her what the hell she was doing. She said her gums hurt, so she was massaging them.
The bad/sad/disgusting/weird thing was that she didn’t even know it was a vibrator. She found it in her parent’s room one day and thought it was for your teeth/gums. On top of that, her parents knew she used it for that purpose because they walked in and talked to her while she had it in her mouth. I didn’t go back.”
25. The family who included their dogs in their dinner conversations.
“I had a close childhood friend whose mom insisted that we treat their dogs like people. Whenever I went round there I had to ‘greet’ these two Cocker Spaniels, say goodbye to them when I left, say ‘excuse me’ if I walked past one of the dogs in the hallways. Stuff like that.
Sometimes we’d be eating dinner and having a conversation and the mom would try to ‘include’ the dogs by asking their opinions and we’d all sit there in silence like idiots until she decided they’d had enough time to reply, which they never did, being dogs.
There was other stuff with those dogs, but I don’t really want to relive it right now.”
26. The fiftysomething father who brutally spanked his twentysomething daughter.
“Saw my friend’s dad, like 13 years ago on Halloween, pull his 20-year-old daughter Tiffany over his knee, took down her spanx (she was a zombie cheerleader for Halloween) and give her like, a real angry dad spanking. It was so weird. A 50-something father of five giving his adult daughter a punitive bare-ass spanking. In front of me, my buddy, and their other daughter—we were all 15/16.”
27. THE ENTIRE PLACE WAS STOCKED FOR THE END OF THE WORLD.
“Was just beginning to see this girl in high school, we’ll call her Sara. After a few weeks she invited me over to her house for dinner. Classic Valley family, pretty Christian, all blonde, dad’s a construction worker, mom’s a hairdresser, live on a dirt road.
Anyway so my mom drops me off at their place all the way out of town. I meet them, we chat, everything’s going well as we talk about current events. Since it’s early November of 2012, I start joking about how stupid it is that people think the world is going to end next month.
You could hear a pin drop after that comment. Total silence. Sara is just glaring at me, her sister staring at her dad who is also staring at me. And I mean the angry dad stare. Oh fuck, what did I do? Then her mom starts bawling and leaves the table. ‘Whats wrong?’ I ask. ‘SHUT UP!’ her sister yells again. I excuse myself to the washroom. I know I’ve fucked up and should just go home but teenage me is trying to think what I could do to recover this night and turn it into getting some ass. When I come out Sara is waiting for me, explains that her mom is just sensitive to the idea of big depressing death stories like those and doesn’t like how sometimes she feels like she can’t get away from it, even when the TV is off. Okay, makes sense….So I tell Sara I’m sorry, she said it’s okay and that we should just go downstairs and watch I movie in the basement. Booyaa, night recovered.
Until I went to said basement.
THE ENTIRE PLACE WAS STOCKED FOR THE END OF THE WORLD. GUNS, FOOD, RAFTS, MAPS, EVERYTHING. I tried to play it off and ask what they were for, hoping a sane answer. ‘For when God will wash the wrong. We’re just being prepared.’ She replied.
I walked 20 miles home down the highway that night.”
28. ‘Stop it. What does mommy love the best…?’ And the girl said, ‘Obedience.’
“I spent the night at classmate’s house when I was 8. Her dad told us he was cooking dinner that night and proceeded to go out to the backyard, take one of the girl’s pet rabbits and cut its throat then cook it. When she started to cry, her mom gave her this death stare and said, ‘Stop it. What does mommy love the best…?’ And the girl said, ‘Obedience.’”
29. The kids who weren’t allowed to use condiments.
“My neighbors don’t let their kids have any condiments on their food. No ketchup on a hot dog or burger. No mayo on sandwiches. When I asked why, the wife went on this rant about how kids don’t get choices and they can have ketchup when they move out of the fucking house and get a job.
The really odd part is this is literally the only thing withheld from them. The kids have XBoxes and bikes and toys and nice clothes and everything else they could want in the world…but they gotta eat their hamburgers dry.”
30. The family who would never close, let alone lock, the bathroom door even when taking a shit.
“I had a friend whose family would never close, let alone lock the door even when taking a shit, so he’d be curling one out and his parents would come in and brush their teeth or whatever as if it was normal. I burst in on his mother having a piss one time and she just said ‘won’t be a minute.’ Waaaat?”
31. The family who were were super paranoid about robbers and had the most intense security system I’ve ever seen.
“I went to elementary school with this girl and every year she would have a big sleepover with all the girls in the class. (Only about 10 girls. It was a small school.) Anyways, her parents believed in an early bedtime, which isn’t crazy. However they also were super paranoid about robbers and had the most intense security system I’ve ever seen. This system was very sensitive and her parents would turn it on after everyone got into their sleeping bags. You were not allowed to get up during he night. You couldn’t even roll around without setting the thing off. They would send people to bed at 7pm and expect all the kids to be silent and still until the morning.
Every year someone would move, the alarm would blare, and the dad would run downstairs with his shotgun while the mom called the cops. Every. Single. Year.”
32. The family who always licked their plates clean— but never washed them.
“In my first few weeks of high school I made a new friend who quickly invited me to his house. He and his family were extremely down to earth, normal people it seemed. When we sat down at the table I don’t remember the finer details of the meal but after a while I noticed my friend and his younger brother licking every last crumb and bit of sauce from the plate, nothing out of the ordinary I thought, long day I supposed. This was until an hour later, when his mother brought my dirty plate into his room and demanded to know who hadn’t licked their plate clean. My friend nervously pointed at me. She was furious and asked how the next person was supposed to eat from it if I had not licked it clean. She left the room, surely what I was thinking couldn’t be true? I asked my friend if they actually wash their plates and he replied ‘of course, we use our tongues so the next person can use it?’ Needless to say, I never returned to that house.”
33. They all slept on the living room floor together.
“My best friend’s family growing up. They all slept on the living room floor together. (The mom, dad, two teens, two toddlers, 2 dogs and a cat). Their house was so full of clutter, none of the kids had their own room. They ate, played, and slept in the living room. It was so hot in that room every time I stayed over, none of them used blankets. They used their favorite stuffed animal as a pillow and that was it! I bought my friend (age 13) a sleeping bag and pillow for her birthday and she cried- she was so happy. Really sad now that I think back on it…”
34. There’s no way I could watch horse porn with my mom.
“I went to a classmate’s house to work on a group project that was due. This was in 9th grade. I already thought the kid was strange already. We got on his computer which is located in the living room that has an open view into the kitchen. He asks if I wanna see some cool videos on his computer. This is around the time of Limewire. He then proceeds to play this video of this girl getting nailed by a horse on full volume. Which isn’t weird compared to say pterodactyl porn. But then, his mom walks in. Dude doesn’t even flinch. His mom looks at what we’re watching then asks if I wanted a soda. I’m all for being open with your children about sexuality. But there’s no way I could watch horse porn with my mom.”
35. There were hundreds of roaches crawling all over the door, all in the glasses, and all over the plates.
“I was friends with these twin brothers in high school and they always hung out at my house. Well one day they invited me to their house which was in the neighborhood. I go inside and the house is a mess, which I had no problem with because my house has a lot of clutter as well.
Everything seemed normal; we played video games until it was dinner time. They invited me to stay for dinner and after dinner I went into the kitchen to put my plate in the sink. That’s when I notice the huge pile of dishes, the stove was filthy and had ROACHES crawling all over it.
One of the twins came in behind me and opened the cabinet to get a glass, there were hundreds of roaches crawling all over the door, all in the glasses, and all over the plates. Plates that looked just like the one I had just ate out of! He thought it was normal, funny, even. As he opened the door he yells ‘It’s ALIVE!’ I nearly barfed all over the floor.
I promptly turned around and left, didn’t say a word, and never spoke to them again. I saw one of them at a gas station recently, all of his teeth were brown and yellow and just a complete mess. He works at a nearby Rally’s, I no longer eat at that Rally’s.”
36. The parents who gave enemas to all their kids, even the teenagers.
“A family in our small-town neighborhood were very odd. There were about 300 kids at the school which was K through 12th grade. So everybody knew everybody pretty well. Most people in the town were very normal, open, and friendly. The kids of this family seemed very normal, if maybe a little sweet/innocent/naive. The parents were weird as hell.
When you went to knock on the door to see if a kid could come out to play or go to a school function or whatever, the mother and father would only open the door a crack. And they would look at you like they knew you were definitely up to no good. You would only see half of their face at most. The windows were all very heavily curtained. Most of the time the kids were not allowed out for anything other than school or church. A very controlling household. The mother was such a shut-in I only think I saw her once in a year.
Their 15-year-old daughter started secretly banging an 18-year-old friend of mine and got pregnant. By secretly I mean they’d sneak off at school and at church and at other strange timed because she wasn’t allowed to date. Not that she should have been allowed to date an 18-year-old, but kids in this family were not allowed to date, period. They ended up getting married right away, and he told me how weird shit was in that house for his wife growing up.
No movies. No TV. No music. Not unless it was church-related. Mostly for religious reasons, but we were all Mormon in that town, and every other Mormon family isn’t like that at all. Every time they came back into the house the kids would have to bathe immediately. If you went out two or three times in a day? You bathed two or three times. All the kids were all given very regular enemas. Like at least once a week. This was not because of some digestive issue, but because ‘harmful metals are everywhere and are constantly being absorbed into the human body.’ The enemas were supposed to be somehow be leaching out the metal and keeping them metal free and healthy. They had all kinds of weird remedies they would take to help fight the metals, but homeopathic type nonsense isn’t that uncommon. Multiple enemas a week for children and babies? That’s super odd. Oh, and the parents were the ones administering these enemas. To children ranging from 5 to 15 years old. Maybe I’m a prude, but I can’t imagine finding my mother and father taking turns lubing up and inserting an enema tube into my 15-year-old ass on a regular basis when I have no discernible health problems, normal.
The 15-year-old probably got pregnant so young because she wanted out of the controlling household. But the brainwashing had taken its hold. She kept giving her newborn baby special enemas because she was afraid of the metals making it sick. My friend argued with her about it, but she’d just do it when he was at work anyway. They eventually got divorced over these kinds of strange medical issues. So now the kid only gets the enemas half of the year.
TLDR – y’all are probably dying from trace metal build up because you didn’t get enough enemas as newborn baby.”
37. The family who always locked every single door in the house.
“I had a friend who would never let me come over to his house. I didn’t know why because I’d met his mother and father and knew his siblings and they seemed like a very happy normal family and they had a nice home which I’d see often from the outside and inside through the living room window a couple times. One time however I managed to convince him to ask his mother if we could have a sleep over and she said yes. After a few moments of being there I realized why he was reluctant to let anyone over.
There were locks on every single door in the house. But not only that, every door required a different key and there was a set of keys for each door for each member of the six-person family. In the entrance hall alone there must have been 30 keys on a rack.
To give one short example of how to get to the Bathroom from the Living Room and back again, you would have to:
Take Living Room – Entrance Hall key from its specific place in the Living Room.
Unlock the Entrance Hall door. Go through then lock the door behind you.
Store the Living Room – Entrance Hall key in its specific place in the Entrance Hall.
Take Bathroom key from its specific place in the Entrance Hall.
Unlock the Bathroom door. Go through then lock the door behind you.
Unlock the Bathroom door. Go through then lock the door behind you.
Store the Bathroom door key in its specific place in the Entrance Hall.
Take the Living Room – Entrance Hall key from its specific place in the Entrance Hall.
Unlock the Living Room door. Go through then lock the door behind you.
Place the Living Room – Entrance Hall key in its specific place in the living room.
Every. Single. Time. And it was a large house. Sometimes requiring going through 3 or 4 doors to reach the room you wanted.
It honestly felt like I was playing real-life Resident Evil, collecting keys to open doors to progress. My friend was the only one who found it slightly embarrassing his sisters and brother and parents didn’t seem to think it was odd at all. I asked my friend why it was like that and he just said his mother thought it was safer for them all that way. I never stayed over again and all sleepovers after that were conducted at my house.”