1. I laughed him out of my vagina.
“I laughed him out of my vagina.”
2. It was like forcing a train through concrete. I bled for 7 days.
“Awful. It was like forcing a train through concrete. I bled for 7 days. Traumatized forever.”
3. I bled like a fucking waterfall.
“It was a mess… I didn’t tell my then boyfriend that I was a virgin. He was on the bigger side, so he just kind of went at full force and I bled like a fucking waterfall. I felt bad about his sheets and carpets after.”
4. His exact words were ‘I can do it better with my hand.’
“His exact words were ‘I can do it better with my hand.’”
5. It happened so fast I don’t even know if he entered.
“It happened so fast I don’t even know if he entered…didn’t feel a thing.”
6. Dick was little, he came in seconds, and then my mom drove him home.
“Garbage, to put it nicely. He had never even been kissed before, and was the super annoying ‘oh this feels fucking awesome’ kinda dude. Dick was little, he came in seconds, and then my mom drove him home because he didn’t have a car.”
7. I passed out mid-sex, came to, then his sister walked in and screamed.
“It was painful, I passed out mid-sex, came to, then his sister walked in and screamed. The end.”
8. He was on top of me dripping sweat so bad that I thought it was raining.
“It wasn’t too bad. I was 13 and my fiancee (boyfriend at the time) and I walked about 4 miles in the middle of the summer to buy condoms from the gas station. Then we snuck off to the woods behind his house to have sex. We were barely hidden, though since there were maybe two trees between us and his neighbor, who stood there ‘watering his lawn’ the entire time. For some reason, three or four neighborhood dogs decided to steal my panties from under my back then return them to his front porch three weeks later with a giant hole in the ass. Oh, also since it was summer at dusk and my fiancee is a profuse sweater, for a little while there, he was on top of me dripping sweat so bad that I thought it was raining. He ended up with about forty mosquito bites and had to take a bath in Epsom salt. Very romantic.”
9. His balls smelled, and they smelled bad.
It was an early release day. I was 16 and I had my own car. My former SO and I planned this day as it would be our 1 year anniversary. We brought blankets, he brought a condom, I wore a dress for easy access despite it being about 30 degrees out there. I’m cringing just typing this. I also thought it’d be funny to wear Batman undies since he liked comics and things of that sort. Oh boy.
I parked my car in a secluded spot by my school and we sat in the back of my small 1998 Honda Accord. I reverse parked it so we could see any oncoming cars entering the parking lot. At this point it was rainy and and foggy out there. We secured the blankets, covering the windows should anyone look in, and I took down whatever chain hung around my rear view mirror so no one would recognize the car. A lot of thought went into this day.
So there we are, sitting in the backseat, watching Bob’s Burgers on my phone because nothing says romantic like cartoons. I don’t know if I want to keep typing… Well, we awkwardly start making out and I put my hand on his groin. And he’s unzipping my dress. We go down on each other. His balls smelled, and they smelled bad. So I put the condom on for him and sit on his lap. Mind you he’s a big guy and we’re in a tiny car. So my head is tilted against the roof of the car and I’m awkwardly trying to position myself. Again, he’s a big guy so I can’t really get my knees on either side of him. It hurts, but we keep going. After trying different positions and failing, he finishes and I’m bleeding.
At this point, the car is fogged up from the inside and it’s still pouring. I put my undies and bra back on, we take down the blankets, and he cleans up. As I’m exiting the backseat to get to the drivers seat, this random guy on a bike passes in front of my car and we make awkward eye contact. I take my SO home and head to the library to volunteer because I’m a good girl.
We still laugh about it to this day and I still have the undies I lost my v-card in. I hope you guys feel as awkward as I did writing this. You’re welcome.
TL;DR awkwardly lost v-card in back seat of car whilst watching Bob’s Burgers.”
10. It was goofy and sweet.
“It was goofy and sweet. I was 22 and he was my first real boyfriend. We had been friends for years before we got together but had only been actually dating a few months.
I was so nervous and full of adrenaline that I my whole body was shaking uncontrollably. It was embarrassing because we had done everything but have sex, so in theory it shouldn’t have been a big deal. He eventually managed to calm me down and we got into it. Things go well for a few minutes until something starts squeaking – it was either the condom or me, I’m still not sure which because it hasn’t happened any other time since. We both start giggling and can’t get the noise to stop, so we just gave up. He stayed over and we tried again later. Everything went smoothly the second time and we had a running joke about our downstairs mice infestation.”
11. It was gentle and loving and sweet and passionate.
“It was amazing actually. My husband and I were 20 when we got married and never had sex til our wedding night. I was pretty nervous about it. Mostly being completely naked together like that. But it was gentle and loving and sweet and passionate—everything I thought it would be. We did it about 6 times in the first 12 hours XD.”
12. The first few thrusts were a little uncomfortable, but after that it felt good and natural.
“I was scared but excited. I was heavily wet and I remember a hot quick pain as he penetrated me and then a huge pressure as he entered fully. It was a little sore but a good sensation like needing to pee. It was classic missionary style with my legs bent at the knee and spread a little. The first few thrusts were a little uncomfortable, but after that it felt good and natural. I didn’t learn to orgasm until many years later, though.”
13. It wasn’t bad but wasn’t awesome, either—really just a means to an end because I wanted to lose it.
“I timed it for a full moon, on top of a green velvet robe I’d laid out under a large tree in the woods, me in full control. It wasn’t bad but wasn’t awesome, either—really just a means to an end because I wanted to lose it.
Bonus- first orgasm was the following new moon.
(I was quite spiritual back then. Also, I thought I was in love, but the guy was an absolute asshole- however, in this case, he was a means to an end. So no regrets.)”
14. It actually felt great; I thought it would hurt and it only did for a second.
“I (22F) have been waiting for this. It’s my time to shine!
So basically I’m a late bloomer and didn’t get any attention from the opposite sex until I got to college. Fast forward, a little after my 21st birthday, I ended up getting together one night with this guy I kissed on my 20th birthday (first kiss btw). It was Netflix and chill and somehow my top came off, then my bra, and then I was butt naked and he was too. So the whole time I was nervous and playing it cool and I thought ‘maybe I should tell him,’ so I did. He asked me if i ‘still wanted to do this’ and told me I have to be sure. My horny meter was on 1000 and I told him it’s alright. It actually felt great; I thought it would hurt and it only did for a second.
However I didn’t climax, but I read a lot of women dont when they have sex the first time. Other than that I had fun!”
“Magical. we ran away from home when we were 17 and i felt free for the first time in my life. we got caught but our (dumb in hindsight) backup plan was to get pregnant so they’d ‘have to keep us together’ (which didn’t work by the way, his parents sent him to Florida and mine kept me in Connecticut) but I was never more ready for any life-changing event then i was for losing my virginity. and he was a champ too, he kept asking me and making sure I was OK and he wasn’t hurting me. nothing bad happened that night, and we’re still together today. and yeah, I got pregnant. baby got adopted and will be two in March.”
16. It was very pleasurable for him, but for me, not so much.
“Well, since it happened less than a month ago, it’s still pretty fresh in my mind. It was kind of a spur of the moment (hey you wanna try it? sure, why not?) thing…it hurt a LOT, but we went slowly. It was very pleasurable for him, but for me, not so much (I expected that.) I also ended up crying, which I was not expecting, just because of how emotional it ended up being. Oh, and I’m a 35-year-old woman who has clearly been a very late bloomer, heh. It still hasn’t been that long but it has gotten easier.”
17. When he finally went in, swear to god it was fucking ecstasy.
“Both 16, he had been with one person before me but it was my first time. It felt fucking incredible. Only because right before it happened we tried fucking in a pool and couldn’t get it in so like any pain or anything had kinda already been handled, I guess? And then we went back to my house, I told him I wanted to try again and apparently I was way tighter than he was expecting but when he finally went in, swear to god it was fucking ecstasy. Like eyes-roll-back-in-your-head-nails-dig-into-his-shoulders-back-fully-arching-toes-curling-gonna-come-right-fucking-now ecstasy. It had always been built up in movies that a girl’s first time was supposed to be painful but mine was fucking bliss. He was also my first boyfriend, my first everything so that factor also made it hot and incredibly romantic. I was raised in a super Christian home so after I got over not being a virgin anymore, we were basically like rabbits in heat. Seriously fucking any time we could, like EVERYWHERE. Pretty sure that being my first sexual relationship is what spurred on my becoming a sex addict.”
18. He was really gentle with me.
“Was with a good friend I has met over the summer of my freshman year of college. It was kind of an accident but I was always flirty with him and i knew he was attracted to me. He came over and we caught up and watched Sense8 (typical Netflix and chill I know lmao) and then we started making out and things happened ¯_(ツ)_/ ¯. He was really gentle with me, he slowed down when I asked him too and we taught each other a few things the times after that (even though he was way more experienced than I was).”
19. There was quite a bit of laughter—mostly from nerves.
“Average?? It was apparent neither of us knew what we were doing and there was quite a bit of laughter—mostly from nerves. He told me he loved me for the first time after….then panicked because he didn’t want me to think he only said it because we had had sex. I laughed more. I knew he really meant it. So either he really did or he is super committed to this long con, because that was 12 years ago…”
20. It was…bad.
“It was…bad. I was 18, he was 20. He knew I had a crush on him and used that to manipulate me into bed with him where he basically used me as a personal cum dumpster for lack of a better word. There for his needs. I was naive and inexperienced, so I had no clue it wasn’t supposed to be that way, for not only was he my first but also my 2nd-8th. Most of which was him getting his and me getting… nothing. Over the years I’ve garnered quite a bit of experiences all over the sexy range and recognize him for what he is. We recently had a conversation where he gave himself credit for turning me ‘into a good little sex freak.’ What a fucking tool.”
21. To this day it was one of the top 5 most painful experiences of my life.
“First year of uni and I’d recently been dumped by a boy I was crazy in love with. I had a friend (let’s call him Brad) that I’d made out with a few times that I wasn’t crazy attracted to but he was comforting to be around. He was also a virgin. So I should mention now that I was supposed to be meeting a friend who had driven 4 hours to visit me at 10am. I had spent the night (as in legitimately sleeping) with Brad. We’d both woken up around 8ish and started messing around and eventually got to sex. To this day it was one of the top 5 most painful experiences of my life. He couldn’t get any more than the tip in without me experiencing almost excruciating pain. Needless to say, neither of us got off. To top it off, when I checked the time it was well after 10 and I had 3 or 4 missed calls from my friend. I also got a UTI and had pain in my cooch for almost a week. TL;DR It hurt like a bitch and I accidentally blew off a friend.”
22. I lost it cowgirl style. It hurt very much.
“Horrible. I lost it cowgirl style. It hurt very much.”
23. I was gushing blood for 8 hours.
“Sucked. So much blood. Literally I was gushing blood for 8 hours. Tried to drive home from the guy’s house and got blood on the seat. My brother got that car a year later….”
24. We were in the back of his VERY small Sentra and couldn’t find any comfortable positions.
“It sucked. It hurt, pretty bloody, and we were a sweaty mess after. I’m not too sure if it was because we were in the back of his VERY small Sentra and couldn’t find any comfortable positions whatsoever or just that fact that I was a virgin. Anyways, it got better after, but we’re no longer together unless you count us being friends with benefits in which case I’d like to say the sex is WAY better.”
25. I definitely didn’t orgasm, but we loved each other and that was all that mattered in the end.
“We were both virgins so it wasn’t exactly amazing and I definitely didn’t orgasm, but we loved each other and that was all that mattered in the end. We did it in his bed when his parents were out of town and although it was awkward, it still felt good to be experiencing it with someone like him. We stayed together for a few years after and ended up having a great sex life while we were together. After all, practice makes perfect.”