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27 People Confess Their Proudest NSFW Moment

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27 People Confess Their Proudest NSFW Moment
Stas Kulesh
Found on AskReddit.

1. I made my college girlfriend scream so much from sex that a downstairs neighbor threatened to call the cops.

“I once made my college girlfriend scream so much and so loud during an orgasm that her downstairs neighbor—a kind, elderly woman—came upstairs, rapped on the door and insisted that if she didn’t hear my GF’s voice immediately, she was gonna call the cops. We both lay in bed, laughing as my GF reassured her that she was quite well, thank you.

After that, she tended to cram a pillow or stuffed animal in her mouth to muffle the sound effects. LOL”

DeepDarkTruth


2. I can orgasm from kissing.

“I can orgasm from kissing lol”

totallynotsarah


3. I put a miniature top hat on my erect penis and snapped a photo with my platoon sergeant’s disposable camera.

“I put a miniature top hat on my erect penis and snapped a photo with the disposable camera that my platoon sergeant left in the Humvee.”

the_DukeSilver


4. I got a blowjob while giving a sworn deposition over the phone.

“I once had to call into court as a witness for an altercation that happened at my work. I was placed under oath over the phone. My girlfriend at the time blew me the entire time.”

corsair1617


5. My dick is literally longer than my left leg.

“I’m a hip disarticulate amputee on my left side, meaning they took the entire leg. I just have a fleshy lump there, right up next to my crotch.

This means I get to say my dick is longer than my left leg as a factual statement. There are very few good things about being an amputee, so I take what I can get.”

dis_ABLED


6. I am a man who buttfucked a straight guy against the wall of a church.

“I am a man who buttfucked a straight guy against the wall of a church.”

OdonDon


7. I don’t think I’ll ever top the standing 69 I managed to pull off in a hotel elevator.

“I’ve done some weird stuff, but I don’t think I’ll ever top the standing 69 I managed to pull off in a hotel elevator.”

StantonMcBride


8. I’m a hairy dude who makes money putting things in my butt on camera.

“I’ve made more money jerking off and putting things in my butt for strangers on cam on weekends than my second job. I’ve had requests to sell my sweaty undies after the gym too. And it makes me feel so damn good to get that kind of attention.

Plot twist: I’m a semi-attractive, hairy dude.”

DiarrheaMouthwash


91. I used to give my ex orgasms so hard that she would pass out for up to two minutes.

“I used to give my ex orgasms so hard that she would pass out for up to two minutes or so mid-coitus.

Feltgoodman.”

Cyanide_Sunrise


10. I fucked that girl so hard I broke my cherrywood bed frame and the bed collapsed underneath us.

“The first time I came home on leave from the army I hadn’t seen my wife in 7 months. We stayed at my parents’ house (she had moved in with her mother in that time to save money). My parents went out the first night we were there to see a movie without us, in a kind of wink-wink, nod-nod situation.

I had been in an incredibly stressful environment for seven months without seeing my wife, I was also now highly physically fit. I fucked that girl so hard I broke my cherrywood bed frame and the bed collapsed underneath us.

I was pretty busy that week and forgot to fix it before I left for Germany. The first phone call to my Dad he said “Oh yeah, (laughing) I fixed your bed frame for you. I don’t know what you did to that poor girl but I hope she’s alright (more laughing).’”

Jits_Guy


11. I once gassed an entire London train car.

“I once farted as I got on a packed train in London. I knew it was a killer but played it cool. The doors closed behind me and 10 seconds later a girl sitting next to her boyfriend hits him and shouts YOU’RE DISGUSTING!”

djewok


12. I woke up an hour later literally still on top of him.

“The other night this guy I’m seeing and I had such great sex that after we climaxed at the end we literally fell asleep right away. I woke up an hour later literally still on top of him. I thought that was just something that happened in shit romance novels.”

koukla1994


13. Backseat handjob from my girlfriend while her parents drove.

“Got a handjob from my gf while her parents were driving us back from Disney World.”

Tyetus


14. I lost an orgasm competition but still came seven times.

“In high school me and my best friend challenged a girl to a competition on who could cum the most in one day (using an honor system). I lost at 7 times, buddy got to 11, and she beat us both at 26. To this day I regret not stating in the rules no vibrators allowed.”

jabin217


15. I proved that a woman can get pregnant from a blowjob.

“Me and my wife had kids, and decided that was enough children. We got married after the kids were born, and went on a honeymoon.

We got drunk and had sex, without protection. The next day we panicked a bit, and went to a drug shop and got a “regret pill”. My wife took it at the hotel room. Crisis cancelled! After this we thought nothing about it, and continued with the honeymoon.

Like half an hour late she gave me a blowjob. She never ever gives me blowjob`s as she chokes easily, so this was a real treat for me! When i came, i came hard, and the cum-shot landed at the back of her moth, and she puked all over the floor (and my dick). We laughed it off, and joked about it for the rest of the vacation.

A few weeks after when we came home, she did not get her period. We got anxious, and it turned out she was pregnant. The only time we had sex without protection was at that hotel room. When she puked after the blowjob, she must have puked out the pill as well!

So, now we have 3 kids. The youngest is as amazing as the other two, and I am proud to have him. But he must never ever find out how he was conceived!”

Shavepate


16. I can fuck a girl while wholly supporting her with my arms.

“I can fuck a girl while wholly supporting her with my arms. I used to be overweight and pretty weak, so I’m pretty proud of this and have no one to tell IRL without coming off like a douche.”

Lepepino


17. I’m currently in a ‘friends with benefit’ situation with one of my senior managers.

“I’m currently in a ‘friends with benefit’ situation with one of my senior managers. It started with a drunken night out and now we fuck pretty much every day. It’s quite awkward in the office because she is my boss’s boss and during our business review meetings my face goes red when she asks me something.”

Some_of_us


18. I broke a sink in a bar bathroom while having sex.

“I broke a sink in a bar bathroom while having sex with my now wife back when we were in college.”

Highasagiraffepussy88


19. My wife and I put a penny in a bank every time we have sex.

“My wife and I put a penny in a bank every time we have sex. I know the exact number of times I’ve had sex in my life because I’ve only ever had sex with my wife. I have a wheat penny tattoo on my right leg that I got on our anniversary (I think 6th year). We also know how many times it took to conceive our two kids because we used nickels for one and dimes for the other. We count pennies every anniversary and write down totals and average for the year.

Some people know this story, including friends at work, but it’s not something I’d say is 100% safe for work.”

MettaWorldWarTwo


20. I got a BJ while staring at Niagara Falls.

“On our honeymoon, my wife gave me a blowjob while I was standing at the window to our hotel room, looking out over Niagara Falls (Canadian side). To this day, I’m proud to say that I’ve received a BJ while looking down on one of the natural wonders of the world.”

facelesscog


21. My first blowjob was from two girls at the same time.

“My first blowjob was from two girls at the same time. I think I set the bar a little too high a little too early….

I was 16 at the time. I was talking to one of the two girls at a party when the second one approached us. She said “you two are cute together, we should have a threesome!” I looked at the other girl and she was already nodding. They told me to meet them upstairs in my friend’s room in 15 minutes. I talked to my friend to let him know what had just happened and he told me he’d make sure no one came in (what a guy). I went in to the room, waited for a minute, and just when I thought they were going to flake they opened the door. It was actually surprisingly early in the night.

Honestly not sure how long it lasted. It wasn’t super quick because I distinctly remember one of them saying something like “this is taking longer than I thought it would.”

They were both human females.”

LdouceT


22. I suck my husband off on camera for extra income.

“I suck my husband off on camera for extra income :)”

IndyMassia


23. I once fisted two guys at the same time.

“I once fisted two guys at the same time.

It’s not even a turn on for me. But I was drunk as fuck and after a night out a friend asked me to go to this ‘sex dungeon.’ I was wandering around the rooms and stumbled on two guys with their asses in the air.

When in Rome, eh?”

john-buoy


24. My girlfriend and I like to have occasional three-ways with various girls.

“My girlfriend and I like to have occasional three-ways with various girls. So much fun! Our favorite thing is for her to put on a strap on and we spit roast them and high five. Cracks all three of us up every time.”

Dong_Hung_lo


25. She began to fucking feed me fruit from the fruit bowl. Like actually holding cherries up for me to bite off the stem.

“Got together with a girl who was also in 2nd year at university with me.

It was pretty carnal, we were really attracted to one another and hooked up often and aggressively. It was hot.

Anyway, one of the first few times we got together she invited me over. I went into her room and she had a red, sheer, satin sheet thrown over her lampshade casting a red hue to the room. She had high-thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets, and tons of pillows on her bed.

She also had, beside the bed, a bowl of mixed fruit.

We made fuck and afterwards I lay back in the afterglow of the sex onto a mountain of pillows with her draped, naked, across me laying on my chest amidst expensive cotton sheets and she began to fucking feed me fruit from the fruit bowl. Like actually holding cherries up for me to bite off the stem.

I felt like a fucking sultan. It was amazing.”

WankGuevara


26. Got paid by one of my friend’s moms to have sex with her.

“Got paid by one of my friend’s moms to have sex with her. She was really good-looking but her self-esteem was so low that she thought she had to pay me to make advance. I refused the money but I made sure she felt better about herself that night. Also, I can very easily suck myself, 15-year-old me had to try.”

Tallandsimple


27. I see vibrant colors and firework-like explosions when I have an orgasm.

“I see vibrant colors and firework-like explosions that look like undulating galaxy nebulas in my field of vision when I have an orgasm. It’s incredible and I wish I could share it with other people so they could see the colors and experience it.”

tinyyellowhouse TC mark

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