1. The lactating woman had a boob out and was filling shot glasses for everybody to drink.
“When I was a Marine, I came back to the barracks to find that half of the Machine gunners were drunk as shit partying on the second story with two chicks they picked up in Oceanside (outside base). Anyway, the skankier of the two women had apparently just given birth not too long before because she was lactating. So as I get closer I realize that the lactating woman had a boob out and is filling shot glasses for everybody to drink. I noped out of there.”
2. Two girls lost their weaves while fighting; dude grabs them and starts selling them on the street corner.
“Outside of a bar these two black girls started scrapping and their weaves went FLYING across the street. A black dude went over, grabbed the weaves, and started selling them on the street corner lol.”
3. A five-inch turd comes rolling out of her pant leg.
“Walking down a crowded street in Chicago Loop area. A woman in sweat pants ahead of me starts to duck walk a bit; she straightens up, takes two steps, and a five-inch turd comes rolling out of her pant leg.”
4. A guy bites off a bartender’s finger after the bartender attempts to stop him from getting a blowjob in the bar.
“A girl was giving a guy head in the smoking room of a bar. The bartender on duty finds out and attempts to break up the festivities. The guy who was being pleasured proceeds to bite the bartender’s finger off.
Thankfully, this was really close to a hospital and they managed to reattach his finger.”
5. I saw an old bearded man drop a cigarette in a puddle of vomit, then pick it back up and continue smoking it.
“I’m from a town in the UK that is notorious for being an absolute trash fest, so I have quite a few stories to tell. I remember one time, though, I saw an old bearded man drop a cigarette in a puddle of vomit, then pick it back up and continue smoking it.”
6. A crackhead couple fucking on a bench at one in the afternoon on a very busy pathway.
“A crackhead couple fucking on a bench at one in the afternoon on a very busy pathway. Kids and families everywhere.”
7. Pregnant mom had been smoking crack all night, and when the baby fell out of her, it was blue.
“I’m a paramedic, and we get called for an active maternity call. As we pull up, there’s four cops outside absolutely losing their shit, which is normally a sign that there’s something unholy going on inside, because normally visions of press releases, medals, and sugar plums dance in cops’ heads at maternity calls. We go inside to find a fifth cop, a female, starring in mute horror. The mother is standing there was the baby on the ground, not breathing, umbilical cord still attached. Crack pipe in hand, still smoking.
As we walk up, the placenta falls out, which for anyone who knows, is a sign that this isn’t her first, second, or third rodeo. We found out later that this was kid number seven with Daddy number five. My team goes to work on the baby, the other crew goes to work on mom. Turns out mom had been smoking crack all night, and when the baby fell out of her, thought nothing of the fact the it was blue. Then this conversation happened.
‘Isn’t my baby beautiful? He’s that color because his father is black.’ My partner, who’s a legendary smartass, responded with ‘Honey, unless his father is a Smurf, he’s not supposed to be that color.’
So we work the kid up, get the kid ventilated, get IV access, and the kid rapidly improves. We get the kid out to my bus, and get him packaged. My partner goes back in the get the placenta….and then has to fight the women’s giant pet rabbit for it.
The kid did fine and was placed into foster care.”
8. An obese lady feeding her baby Mountain Dew in a baby bottle in Walmart.
“An obese lady feeding her baby Mountain Dew in a baby bottle in Walmart.”
9. She walks out of the bedroom with the cum of eight guys dripping down her legs.
“At a college party, in an apartment. Seriously hot girl, Daisy Dukes and a halter top, maybe 5ft tall arrives. Walks around drinking, yells, ‘Somebody fuck me!’
One guy chats her up, and after two minutes, she drags him into the bedroom.
20 minute later the guy comes out, grin on his face. Nothing I hadn’t seen before. Then, from the bedroom: ‘Send another dick in!’ Everyone looks at each other, no one moves. (Maybe 15 guys at the party, almost as many girls.)
She walks to the bedroom door, naked. Looks around, points at a guy, says ‘You. Let’s go.’ Guy goes.
She fucks eight guys. Coming to the doorway each time to pick a guy. After a couple guys, she is not even closing the door. Last three or four guys, she is standing there with cum running down her legs. (Early 80s, condoms were not a thing in white-bread college.)
I managed to avoid being picked by hanging in the kitchen, watching through the island/cabinet gap.
She walks out after eight, wearing the shorts and halter, cum all down her legs. Drinks a cup of party punch, leaves.
Find out later she was 16, a townie, and had done it before.”
10. I once watched a drunk girl from my freshman dorm give the 400+ pound guy that worked at Little Caesar’s a lap dance for a free pizza.
“I once watched a drunk girl from my freshman dorm give the 400+ pound guy that worked at Little Caesar’s a lap dance for a free pizza.”
11. My favorite quote from the ensuing argument was ‘Your breath smells like your cousin’s pussy.’
“This happened at a friend of a friend’s seventeenth birthday party. Birthday girl’s boyfriend brings his cousin to the party. Everyone gets drunk as you do. Boyfriend disappears and the search is on. Birthday girl eventually finds him fucking his cousin in the bathroom. My favorite quote from the ensuing argument was ‘Your breath smells like your cousin’s pussy.’ Didn’t seem to matter much they’re married now with two kids. I guess drunken incest can’t stand in the way of true love.”
12. An incredibly obese woman trying to shop in Walmart, but was stopped at the door because her children were naked.
“An incredibly obese woman trying to shop in Walmart, but was stopped at the door because her children were naked.”
13. Inside one of the Port-A-Potties was an Air Force chick riding some guy’s dick like it was the last plane home. In a Port-A-Potty in the 120° Afghan summer.
“In Afghanistan we made a supply run to Kandahar Air Field. We had some spare time before we left to go back to our COP so we went to the Burger King there (yes the Air Force had a Burger King in Afghanistan). On the way there we walked past a row of Port-A-Potties and a strong gust of wind blew open the doors and inside one of the Port-A-Potties was an Air Force chick riding some guy’s dick like it was the last plane home. In a Port-A-Potty in the 120° Afghan summer. How they could fuck in that stench is beyond me, but bravo.”
14. The dude rips the biggest, loudest, wettest fart and starts laughing while his lady friend attempts to not vomit in his lap.
“Was in a rock club and was caught short. The toilets in that place were legendary for their general filth, so for me to have to use one, you should appreciate how desperate I was.
So I’m sat there, trying not to contract something from the toilet seat when I hear a couple burst into the cubicle next to me, followed by the unmistakable sound of a drunken blowjob.
In a filthy toilet. In the FILTHIEST toilet in all the land.
But just as my life is getting as uncomfortable as it’s ever been, the dude rips the biggest, loudest, wettest fart and starts laughing while his lady friend attempts to not vomit in his lap. A chorus of male laughs and female shrieks of ‘you fucking dirty bastard.’ Ah, young, trashy, filthy love.”
15. She had her 2 or 3-year-old daughter dig through the mini bottles of liquor to find the ones she wants.
“I work in a liquor store and there’s a meth head that comes in with her child. We have a basket of shooters that are all mixed together. She had her 2 or 3-year-old daughter dig through the mini bottles of liquor to find the ones she wants. ‘Find mommy the pink one, now find mommy the green one.’”
16. She refused to extinguish her cigarette outside the maternity ward and went home to deliver her baby on her back porch.
“Knew somebody who decided to have a home birth upon learning she wouldn’t be allowed to smoke in the maternity ward. She literally drove to the hospital, in labor, and of course was stopped outside and told to put her cigarette out. Instead, she drove back home (still in labor, mind you.)
Ended up giving birth to an eight-pound baby on her back porch.”
17. When caught shoplifting, she purposely started peeing her pants.
“A woman getting caught stealing at Home Depot and then peeing through her pants to try and get the loss prevention guy to let go of her.
I can still hear him clear as day: ‘WHAT THE **** LADY. WHY!?’”
18. Two homeless people fucking in public until police Tasered them apart.
“Downtown Tempe on NYE about 15 years ago we were walking back to our cars after midnight. when we spotted some police surrounding a big green electric junction box. As we got closer we found it was two totally naked homeless people a guy and a girl.
They were doing it doggy style behind the box and determined to finish. When they realized the cops weren’t willing to touch them in the act they started waddling around and waving to the crowd like it was a parade, the dude still humping her like a rabbit. Mace was sprayed, batons used as pry bars. At one point the guy got his concentration on and looked like he was actually going to finish. Nothing stopped them until a Taser was deployed and they both fell face first onto mill street like sacks of concrete the woman got Tasered via their “connection” as far as I could tell. The whole scene lasted upwards of 15 minutes.
I’m still both scarred and entertained thinking of it.”
19. Oral sex on a Greyhound bus.
“I was riding Greyhound, so I should have expected some shit. During the course of my trip two passengers, one male, the other female, got to talking and it turned out that they had both been released from prison recently. The guy had a bottle of liquor which they started sharing. This led to him performing oral sex on her, legs up on the seat in front of them, and eventually full on fucking. Somehow, they were not asked to get off the bus. Greyhound at its finest.”
20. A lady carried a bag full of dead bugs into a pharmacy.
“Happened literally an hour ago. A lady came into our pharmacy and presented a bag full of bugs. She asked our pharmacist to identify the bugs and tried to hand our pharmacist the bag. Our pharmacist refused to touch it and the lady talked about how she found all those bugs in her condo, hair, ‘in her’ and other places. From what our pharmacist could tell, it was a bag full of fleas, bed bugs, and other random mostly dead bugs.”
21. My dad caught my ex (who I was dating at the time) getting fingered by random guys on the beach while her mom was with them.
“My dad caught my ex (who I was dating at the time) getting fingered by random guys on the beach while her mom was with them. I’m glad he told me, what a real bro. And what a trashy bitch.”
22. A junkie couple having sex in public while their toddler sat in a stroller.
“Finished work and was coming out of the staff entrance, which happens to be a fairly sketchy lane way on the north side of Dublin city center, and saw a junkie couple doing the nasty, which wouldn’t be that bad if it wasn’t that the only thing that was concealing them was their 2/3-yr-old kid sitting in a pram facing the other way. It kind of just made me feel sad thinking of the life that child is going to have, but yeah it was also trashy to fuck.”
23. A mother in her mid-40s and her two daughters (who were in their late teens/early 20s) giving a group of guys blowjobs at Mardi Gras.
“What appeared to be a mother in her mid-40s and her two daughters (who were in their late teens/early 20s) giving a group of guys blowjobs at Mardi Gras.
They (the girls) were all kneeling in the middle of the circle of 6-8 guys, tops off, and were just going back and forth among the guys, sucking them off…while the guys were shooting pics and video with their cell phones.
I guess those guys had some REALLY cool beads.”
24. These trashy trashy people had a full-on threesome in the Target bathroom while I’m shooting out sloppy wet turds that smell like death incarnate.
“When I was preteen I ate some bad food at a restaurant. We went to target after and my stomach literally instantly turned sour as we entered. I went to the bathroom and I’d shit, 5 minutes later I’d need to shit again. So I just decided I’d stay in there till I was sure it was empty. This went on to the point that I told my parents to go to the other stores they wanted to hit and just hit me up after.
About 10 minutes into the ordeal I hear people come it. I’m thinking ‘great no way they won’t hear and smell this.’ They’ll probably turn right around. Then I see 3 pairs of feet in the stall beside me. One female and two male.
These trashy trashy people had a full-on threesome in the Target bathroom while I’m shooting out sloppy wet turds that smell like death incarnate three feet away with just a stall wall in between us.
I only ever saw their feet, but I’m counting it as something I experienced.”
25. She pulls out her ginormous breasts and lures him into a full-on motor-boating session in the middle of the street.
“Was outside for a smoke downtown one night. We have a place called ‘House of Pong’’ where you can drink and play ping pong. Well…a rather large black woman and her man go walking by, he stops to look at the sign. The woman turns around and says ‘You want to play ping pong? how about these ping pongs!’; proceeds to pull out her ginormous breasts and lures him over into a full-on motor-boating session in the middle of the street.
made my night.”
26. ‘Don’t sell coke to my grandma, goddamnit!’
“It’s late at my local townie dive bar’s karaoke night when the bar’s owner and namesake shows up, she’s a tiny 75-year-old woman in a pink cardigan with a great big loud voice, with her two early-20s granddaughters in tow, heavily drunk and dressed for the club. Up she rolls to a quiet guy who’s been hanging by the entrance smoking a cigarette, they exchange some words and walk around to the alleyway beside the bar. One of the granddaughters hikes up the skirt of her dress, squats down on her heels and proceeds to piss all over the sidewalk while the other granddaughter runs around the corner screaming, ‘Don’t sell coke to my grandma goddamnit!’ From down the alley echoes grandma’s voice, ‘Shut the fuck up, bitch, it’s my birthday and I’ll do what I want!’
When I had enough of this scene and went inside, the bartender was trashed off her ass and pouring everyone free doubles.”
27. I had to bring my seven-year-old brother to rescue my mom from a drunken attempted fireman rape orgy.
“When I was sixteen my mother joined a group for single professional moms. She met with the organizers, and they invited her to an event they had scheduled for the next evening. The event was a screening of First Wives Club at a historic theater, and they had gotten a bunch of local firefighters to volunteer to be ushers. They were to greet each member with a rose and a glass of champagne, and then escort her to her seat. But you asked for trashy, not classy, right? Stay with me here.
My mother did not drive, so I dropped her off and promised to pick her up in two hours. Forty minutes later I was back at the theater, my little brother in tow, looking at a large crowd of police and curious onlookers. My mom had called to tell me there had been an incident, and could I please come get her. This was before cell phones, so we marched up to an amused looking officer, who escorted us into the theater. Inside we were greeted by the sight of a dozen or so well-dressed, scuffed-up, and very blotto middle-aged women in cuffs, and many very pissed off, rumpled firefighters. Apparently, quite a few of the club members had overindulged in the free champagne, and asked the firefighters to demonstrate how quickly they could suit up. The firefighters obliged them by stripping off their gear. This was not enough for the women. They wanted it all off. While Diane Keaton shrieked at her cheating husband, these inebriated single moms decided to ‘help’ the firefighters with the rest of their clothes. No was not an option, and they were quite forceful. That’s about when the cops were called. According to my officer escort, when they arrived the lobby was a scene of utter chaos; high heels had been kicked off, hair had been mussed, alarmed firemen scratched up and clothing torn. These men had been trained to enter burning buildings; they had not been prepared for something like this. These were dumpster fires of a different sort.
My officer friend pulled my mom out of a side office where she had been hiding with a couple of other women, and we were sent on our way. For years after, any time my mom got on me about something, I’d bring up the time I had to bring my seven-year-old brother to rescue her from a drunken attempted fireman rape orgy.”
28. I see her mom laying on the couch with her nightgown pulled up and her dad standing in front of her with his pants down.
“When I was 9 y/o, I had a good friend that had a very trashy family. My parents would never let me stay overnight at her house. For some reason this one time my mom said I could. Her mistake. My friend fell asleep while we were watching a movie in the living room that evening with her 15 y/o brother, who was already missing one front tooth. After a while he whispers, ‘Hey look,’ I turned to look at him and witness my first hard dick. He’s got his pants pulled down just enough to show it meanwhile grinning at me. Then starts begging me to suck it until I tell him I’m going to wake up his sister and tell her if he doesn’t stop. He quit. When the movie was over, I woke her up and said we should go to bed. So the two of us got upstairs to her bedroom and go to bed. Lucky for me her brother’s room is downstairs. Now, her parents had newspaper laid out on the floor in the corner of her room and a coffee can sitting in the middle of it. I didn’t ask her why. I wake up in the middle of the night and need to pee. I make my way down the stairs heading to the bathroom. Halfway down I see her mom laying on the couch with her nightgown pulled up and her dad standing in front of her with his pants down. The mom looks at me, whispers something and the dad turns and sees me (BAM seeing my second hard dick in my life, in one night). He yanks his pants up and runs to me yelling, ‘Get your ass back upstairs!’ I told him I needed to use the bathroom. He yells, ‘That’s what the coffee can in the bedroom is for!’ I ran to the bathroom, shut the door, turn on the light, watch the cockroaches scatter, and pee real quick. I run back up to the bedroom and lay awake all night. In the morning I go to the kitchen and use the phone to call my mom to come get me ASAP while watching my friend’s mom with a gallon jug of milk, half full, adding water to it until the jug is full. So yeah. That was the trashiest thing I’ve ever witnessed.”
29. They were doing it right on top of one of those shitty crushed-rock parking lots.
“Went to a wedding in a very rural part of PA. Great wedding at a golf course but the reception ended at 10. So we went to one of the local bars that we were at the previous night. To frame the story, I am in a car with 3 other friends of mine. The four of us are all wearing the typical post wedding attire. Dress pants and dress shirts but with the sleeves rolled up, no ties, and untucked shirt. Kinda how you get towards the end of a wedding reception. The bar itself was definitely a small country town bar.
So we pull up to a bar called ‘The Bear Moose Inn’ that sat on the side of a country road. As we pull in my headlights beam directly on a lovely young couple. Fucking. This girl was bottomless with only one of her legs inside of her jeans bouncing on top of the guy. They were doing it right on top of one of those shitty crushed-rock parking lots. No attempt to get privacy or, you know, at least not be directly in line with where people pull into the parking lot.
We then all walked inside waiting for our other friends to show up. I immediately realized that we did not fit in given our attire. It’s the first time in my life were the types of people to fuck openly in a bar parking lot fit in more at a place than I did.”
30. Saw two girls, apocalyptically drunk, laying naked in the collapsed ruin of their tent, alternately throwing up and pleasuring each other in the vomit.
“Music festivals, man.
Saw an old lady in neon pink leopard-print spandex sitting on a younger guy’s shoulders, doing lines of coke off of his bald head.
Saw two girls, apocalyptically drunk, laying naked in the collapsed ruin of their tent, alternately throwing up and pleasuring each other in the throw up.
On multiple occasions, I’ve seen people purchase a six-foot bong, use a six-foot bong, bring the six-foot bong into the crowd, and weep over the shards of a shattered six-foot bong.
Streaker, riding a disturbingly fast motorized and taxidermied deer, screaming and pinging spent nitrous canisters at security.
After a guy’s big bag of shrooms burst and exploded all over the ground, a frenzied mob of around twenty-five people truffle-hunted and devoured the fallen fungi in under a minute (I may have been one of these people).”
31. Cop hands me a black garbage bag. Sudden odor of vomit and shit reeks out of it.
“In no way this story is even slightly exaggerated.
Three years back I was visiting Vegas with a few close friends of mine. One of my friends had his university buddies flying in to party from all over the US. In total it was about 15-20 people group including me. I have heard wild party stories from my friend with his grad school bunch but given the absolute craziness of them I never believed them. I am not a huge party guy, but I tagged along anyway to see where the night led us.
I was told by my friends that all the hotel booking are ‘done’ and I ‘do not’ need to worry about anything and to just pack my clothes and hop on in the car to Vegas. So I did.
After landing in Vegas reality hit me. There were only two hotel rooms that will be shared among 15 people. Idea was that everyone is going to be sloshed and passed out by the end of the night so no one cared who slept where. I did not like that and I decided to go book a room for myself. One of the friends of my friend decided to share the new room with me, let’s call this guy ‘’DJ.’ So we did get a room and got in.
All of these guys left for the night to party hard, I had 2 more nights in Vegas so I decided to hang back and explore the casino for a while and call it a night. DJ got ready for the party, took his hotel key card and left with the other bunch. I got back to my room at about 2 AM and slept off.
Somewhere about 5AM in the morning I get a knock on my door. But I was too tired to get up and I knew DJ had his own key so I don’t need to get up to open the door. I slept in.
Now at about 8AM there is loud thumping on the door. I get up, look through the peep hole and it’s freakin’ police. I am an immigrant, software engineer working in California. DJ was an absolutely stranger to me. I had heard stories about he being a Silicon Valley millionaire entrepreneur but like all the other stories from my friends I had them brushed off as fakes. But seeing police, not one, not two but 4 of them made me almost shit my pants. What kind of guy is this DJ? Are there drugs in his luggage? Are there drugs in my room? One strike and I am out of this country. My life’s fucked up. I started sweating…
I put on my pants, I open the door.
‘Good morning sir” says the police man politely. ‘Do you know…ummm…DJ?’
‘Fuuu***’ I get a brain freeze.
But then I noticed something weird. The hotel hallway smelled funny. Wait! That smells like shit. Then I looked down near my door, some huge brown patch there. Like someone tried to clean up something there.
‘Yes sir, umm…I don’t really know him…He is a friend of a friend. I am just sharing a room with him…I don’t know the guy though…Is there a problem, officer..?’ I muffled.
The officer looks at his deputy, looks back at me. Says ‘Sir, you friend was arrested for drunken misbehavior. He apparently was in a drunken delirious state. He has been diagnosed for alcohol poisoning and been transferred into such and such hospital.’
‘Here are his possessions.’ Cop hands me a black garbage bag. Sudden odor of vomit and shit reeks out of it. I take the bag and keep it in a corner. Then the office told me the whole story.
Apparently, my friends partied super hard that night and moved on to a late after-party later in the night. DJ was drunk and was ‘given something’ (I am guessing drugs). He found himself later robbed of everything including wallet and phone and car keys. Somehow he dragged himself back to the hotel room. The knock I ignored was him trying to get in without a key. He couldn’t but he had to poop really bad. But instead of finding a toilet, he proceeded to take off all his clothes. Yes. All his clothes and he shat next to our room’s door.
He then marched into the casino naked looking for water to clean his ass. This was the ‘Paris’ hotel, btw, with a huge casino in the lobby and restaurants. A drunken chase ensued between hotel security and DJ. DJ was caught and restrained, completely naked, covered in shit and piss. 911 was called in and he was taken to hospital.
After police left, I sat on my bed for next 15 minutes, staring at the black garbage bag in the corner.”
32. Saw a guy slam dope in his car, then crash it…with two kids in his car.
“Was on a smoke break at work and saw a guy slam dope in his car and pass out. Then realized he had two young children in the car trying to wake him up. He ‘woke’ up tried to drive away and hit a car. I was mid-911 call when he hit the other car. Never have I seen someone not care about their own children like that.”
33. A guy’s snorting coke off of a woman’s vagina in a men’s bathroom.
“I work as a doorman (security) in a club in a small town in the U.K, I walked into the men’s toilet and checked a cubicle to find a guy’s snorting coke off of a woman’s vagina who I’m certain could have passed for Gollum’s little sister, she literally pissed herself in surprise dousing the guy in urine and all he did was lick it all up and try to go back to the bar.”
34. My junkie aunt shooting up then going to the living room and hugging her kid.
“My junkie aunt shooting up then going to the living room and hugging her kid, saying she ‘risked everything’ by coming home even though she had warrants just so she could take her little girl to the doctor.”
35. Dozens of underage girls without pants on urinating in the men’s room at a Britney Spears concert.
“I (stupidly) bought my girlfriend, at the time, Britney Spears tickets in Newark with Pussycat Dolls as the opening act. This was maybe 10 years ago..
Anyway she was an awful driver and didn’t have a lot of friends, so she ended up asking me to go with her so I could drive and she’d have someone. Agreed, got there, everything was fine. Luckily brought earplugs and they were selling beer at a couple stands.
Cue bathroom break, mind you I’m one of maybe 10 guys in the building, so conveniently there’s no line outside the bathroom. When I walk in, I witness lines of young girls in every direction; pants on the floor using urinals, peeing in the sinks, just fucking everywhere. They all looked up at me, smirked, and went back to their business.
Noped out and asked a staff member if I could use a back bathroom or something, which they obliged.
I now have the memory of simultaneously watching dozens of underage girls without pants on urinating in the men’s room at a Britney Spears concert for life.”
36. Visited distant family and witnessed my minister grandpa choke out a naked lady who was trying to fight a teenager and old lady.
“I visited distant relatives in Mississippi with my grandpa and one night one of my second cousins was angry that their older sister was using her bikini top. The fight got heated and the older sister ripped of the bikini top and threw it at her sister. The older one (with boobies in full view of the whole family) then tried to fight the younger one and their elderly mother got in between them, but that did stop them. My grandpa (a minister) got the older shirtless lady in a headlock and threw her out. The next morning I wake up to a man yelling around the house looking for my grandpa talking about how he was going to kill him for what he did. That was the first and last time I visited that side of the family.
TL;DR Visited distant family and witnessed my minister grandpa choke out a naked lady who was trying to fight a teenager and old lady.”
37. She lifted up her skirt, angled her urethra, and started to gush pee directly onto the cops’ shoes.
“I watched the following situation unfold: A woman was about to be arrested for public drunkenness. The cops were evidently feeling merciful and decided to put her into a cab, instead. I guess this offended the woman. In response to being directed toward a cab, she lifted up her skirt, angled her urethra, and started to gush pee directly onto the cops’ shoes.”