1. Period shits.
“Period shits. Because your day just wasn’t bad enough already…”
2. Getting your hair caught in car doors.
“I know this isn’t specific to being a woman, but it generally happens to us a lot more. Getting our hair caught in car doors.”
3. Under. Titty. Sweat.
Well, maybe not worst, but that’s my pet peeve lately.
There’s also “worrying that your vagina stinks”, or having men think being nice/polite/making eye contact = I want you.”
4. When one labia flap pops out of your thong.
“When you’re wearing a loose thong and that one labia flap inside your vagina pops out and gets pinched by your jeans and you have to keep walking until bathroom.”
5. Cramps so bad it makes you puke.
“Some women get cramps so bad it makes them puke. My friend had appendicitis and said that she’s had worse pain from cramps.”
6. Having to shave the hair around your nipples.
“Having to shave the hair around your nipples. And no….I am not a dude. I am instead a female with very Italian (read: hairy) heritage.”
7. The feeling of cum dripping back out your vagina.
“The feeling of cum dripping back out your vagina. It can be entertaining at times. But other times, when he blew an especially think load, you have to actually push it back out, unless you want to risk looking like you pissed your pants 6 hours later.”
8. Waking up in a small pool of your own blood.
“If you have irregular/heavy periods, waking up in a small pool of your own blood can be a thing.”
9. Accidentally wiping shit onto your tampon string.
“Taking a shit on your period wiping from front to back and accidentally getting your tampon string all caught up in the shit. Thanks anatomy.”
10. The chronic back pain and digestive problems that come with having huge boobs.
“Huge boobs. I have chronic back problems along with chronic digestive problems—I have to literally lift my boobs so my food can go down. Men love huge boobs, but they really are a pain!”
11. Forgetting to take out your tampon.
“Sometimes like a week or so after my period is over I have this moment of panic that I have forgotten to take out my tampon and its just been chillin’.”
12. Having a bra wire pop out and stab you in the chest.
“Having a bra wire pop out and stab you in the chest. Betrayed by the same thing that is supposed to protect you.”
13. The fact that a vagina is a wet cesspool.
“How about the fact that a vagina is a wet cesspool and women can be much more adversely affected by STDs, both the contraction and the likelihood of infection? Then the urethra is right nextdoor and is only an inch long making it easier to get UTIs and bladder infections.”
14. THE FEAR OF TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME!
“THE FEAR OF TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME! All uterus owners/period receivers who use tampons are brainwashed with this fear. It’s so unlikely, but so scary…”
15. Sharp, stabbing pain in the ovaries.
“For the past 9 years I’ve had this issue where once a month for a few days I have this immensely sharp, stabbing pain in the same spot. It’s super painful and I’ve gone to a bunch of doctors about it. Each and every one has simply shrugged their shoulders, said it’s probably an ovarian cyst, and prescribed birth control. Once they figure it’s a common enough lady problem, they give up the investigation and send me on my way.”
16. The irrational fear that someone will accidentally tug on your tampon string.
“The irrational fear that your tampon string is going to slip out of your bathers and some clueless person will be like you’ve got a piece of cotton and pull it and boom. There’s my plug gone.”
17. Uterine cramping.
“As a female with PCOS, I, this month, have had a period for three weeks with one off week. As I’m starting week 3 now, my uterus hasn’t quit cramping since I got up 4 hours ago. I’m already saving up to get it removed.”
18. Being obligated to remove most of your body hair.
“The shaved legs obligation (i’m in the usa). especially when traveling for an extended period of time.
really, body hair stuff in general, like, it would be cool if i didn’t ever have to think about my upper lip or the dark armpit thing you sometimes get even when you shave religiously.
also an ingrown hair (from shaving) near your lady parts suuuucks.”
19. Keeping one’s vaginal flora and fauna happy.
“The fauna and flora of a vagina can be incredibly difficult to keep happy. I have that shit down to the science, and still sometimes have trouble keeping the cat purring happily.”
20. The terrifying moment when you start your period in public and realize you don’t have any tampons.
“When you are 100% sure you started your period but you can’t go to the bathroom to check and you have no tampons and you have to sit in what you are CERTAIN is a pool of blood only when you FINALLY can break away from your meeting/class/drive you get in the bathroom and find that you’ve been panicking for nothing and there’s not a drop of blood just various forms of moisture.”
21. It’s really great to be standing talking to clients at work and feel this immense hot sticky wetness filling your undies.
“I guarantee men do not know the fun it is to deal with tracking your cycle or checking your cervical mucus. In case y’all didn’t know that mucus (discharge) changes in color, consistency, and quantity constantly. It’s really great to be standing talking to clients at work and feel this immense hot sticky wetness filling your undies. You get concerned that someone can see the wet spot. I personally am a huge fan of how it cakes up in layers and hardens into a solid block of concrete that feels great as you walk around the grocery or play soccer. It’s somewhat acidic and will bleach out your panties or even eventually eat away and create holes. And this is a healthy vagina! It gets way worse if there is ever any type of issue and you start having pain, itching, burning, and sensitivity. And god forbid if there is ever some type of smell! Ug, you must be a repulsive human being to ever let that happen.”
22. Endometriosis can suck a dick.
“I just discovered a shitty thing about my gender.
I turns out that your uterine cells can get outside of the uterus and into your abdominal cavity where they grow long fibers that bind your organs together. This causes chronic and constant pain with no relief. You also lose functionality of your intestines and organs over time. There is no way to fix this, other than just going in and cutting the damn things off, but they always grow back.
But wait! There’s more! Remember that we get periods? So all those cells that wandered out still think they need to bleed every month. So now, instead of getting my period in my uterus, I get it pretty much everywhere.
Endometriosis can suck a dick.”
23. The incredible horniness that accompanies menstruation.
“Girls on their periods are not only savages because of pain. You are incredibly sexually frustrated because your hormones are going haywire—the agony of being incredibly horny and not being able to do anything about it (unless you have a partner into period sex) is so, so frustrating. And of course, the second your period stops, your hormones drop your horniness back to normal levels. It’s infuriating.”
24. Uteruses seem very temperamental and high maintenance.
“This will probably get buried, but I’ve got to say, I envy how simple penises seem to be. Uteruses seem very temperamental and high maintenance. Like I’ll have painful ovulation one month, ovarian cysts the next, endometriosis, the occasional yeast infection, of course periods, and frankly I think discharge is gross and stains your underwear if you don’t wear panty liners.”
25. Yeast infections.
26. Urinary tract infections.
“Urinary tract infections. I just wanna have sexy time without the possible side effect of pissing fire from my urethra. Guys really need to know the pain at least once.”
27. When you accidentally bump yourself in the boob.
“When you accidentally bump yourself in the boob and keep the sounds of Satan from escaping from you.”
28. Labia sweat in hot weather.
“Underboob heat rash, and labia sweat in hot weather. Even with a sports bra on, I get really itchy under my boobs because there’s no air under there and the sweat collects. Same with the labia. You think swamp ass is bad? Welcome to swamp vag. I hate that moist feeling.”
29. Ovarian cysts.
“I grow cysts on my ovaries. I have since I was 15. It is chronic and painful. I HAVE to be on birth control or I cannot function because the smallest twist or even a cough can blow a cyst, which has been painful enough that I thought my appendix ruptured. Worst case scenario, I can actually destroy that ovary. I only have two.
Basically, I grow an incredibly painful ticking time bomb or two on my ovaries each month and all I can do is try not to ovulate or move too suddenly so as not to rupture one. In exchange for not rupturing them, I deal with being constantly aware of the exact location of my ovaries… Because the cysts still hurt.
TL;DR: I’m dependent on birth control not because of sex, but because my ovaries explode if I don’t take birth control.”
30. Dislocated boob syndrome.
“Guys, you know how sometimes your dick can get out of position in your underwear and it gets uncomfortable and you have to adjust it but it’s hard to find a position that’s comfortable? Boobs do that too, and it’s twice as much of a problem because there’s two of them. And god help you if one boob is perfectly comfortable but the other isn’t, because it’s pretty much impossible to adjust one without adjusting the other.”