15 Female Sex Workers Reveal The Ways That Women Clients Are Different Than Men

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Found on AskReddit.

1. I appreciated that they saw me as human, rather than the majority of my male clients who saw me as a blowjob machine.

“Female clients were my absolute favorites, but they were certainly rarer.

A lot of the time they just wanted oral and a massage, and you could just talk, hang out, giggle. They almost always provided wine, and occasionally food. It was like getting down with a friend. I appreciated that they saw me as human, rather than the majority of my male clients who saw me as a blowjob machine.

There are exceptions to both sides, of course. I had one nasty female client who essentially wanted to abuse me, I ended up telling her no because she clearly had some extreme unresolved issues, jealousy towards women, internalized misogyny—whatever you want to call it.

I’ve also had very sweet, loving male clients who want to please me as much as they want me to please them. You get more people after practice than you’d think. But I worked high class.

Most of the time if a lady was involved it was because her and her man wanted to have a threesome, or it was another escort who was employed as well to be with a man. I didn’t mind those at all, but let me tell you, I had loads of threesomes in my time and when it was a couple I almost always wanted to scream at them to communicate better. 80% of the time it was the woman wanting to prove she wasn’t boring, that she was a ‘cool girl,’ and the guy was either pressuring her or totally oblivious. The latter wasn’t really his fault, I guess, but go the extra mile to read your partners, people. You just come off like you totally don’t care.”


2. Finding out what some male clients like can be like getting blood from a stone. Female clients are always happy to tell me what they do and don’t like.

“Aussie full service sex worker here.

During my first 4-5 years of work I refused to take female clients. Mostly because I had my ‘experimental phase’ in high school and decided I was straight. So in my mind there was no point in seeing women because I wasn’t into it.

I recently took a break to get married and start my family which gave me some time to reflect and think. That’s when I realized that my logic in not accepting female clients was flawed because I wasn’t always into it with my male clients either. So why the hell was I turning down those bookings?

Since starting up again last year I’ve had a few female clients. My first was with a couple that wanted a threesome. The wife had organized it as a surprise wedding anniversary gift for her husband. I showed up to their place and was introduced to the husband and he totally freaked out. It took him about 20 minutes to calm down and agree. His main issue was that he didn’t want his wife to do something just for him. After some drinks and playful chatting all was well. I genuinely enjoyed the experience and taking advice from friends I gave the most attention to the wife and took my cues from her. I made sure that the husband climaxed with his wife not me. Both were very happy with the experience and they’ve had me back to visit since.

I learnt a few things during that first visit: The wife, though absolutely stunning and articulate was insecure about her body and really enjoyed hearing from another woman how sexy she was. Almost everything I enjoy, she enjoys too. This might seem so obvious to everyone but I genuinely had no idea what it would be like.

I’ve had two bookings with ‘submissive’ bisexual women since then, a few more couples and taken doubles bookings with fellow sex workers.

I adore how kind and considerate my female clients are. They’re all polite when booking and DO NOT cancel bookings. So far, they’ve all smelled beautiful as well. Always freshly showered, shaved/waxed etc. It’s a treat to have someone walk in the door that has thought about their hygiene in advance. Don’t get me wrong, my male clients do this if they can (most come during their work day), but there’s just an extra level of care taken by women.

Oh, and the talking. Finding out what some male clients like can be like getting blood from a stone. Female clients are always happy to tell me what they do and don’t like. It makes my job so much easier—and enjoyable.

Another commenter made the most important distinction though—safety. I have never once felt threatened or unsafe in the presence of a female client. It’s not that some of them couldn’t over power me; it’s just that I never fear that they would. That could be my own issue, but it’s true nonetheless.”


3. Making a woman cum takes a lot longer than with guys, so it’s more work.

“I’ve been selling sex for 3 years now. Have had 5 female clients in total, all of them different experiences.

One of them were a lesbian couple where the other woman was too sick to have sex anymore but she loved her partner so I visited a couple of times and she watched.

Other was a woman in her 50s, she was quite a sweet person. We took long baths and she had a dog that was my friend.

Two of the female clients did it for threesome with their husbands. Both were meh experiences, but the other one was straight up sad. It was obvious that the wife was terribly threatened by me and she didn’t enjoy it the slightest, but was painfully desperate to please her fat old ugly rude husband. I felt genuinely bad for her.

The last one is one of my regulars. She is a very overweight lady in her late 40s. I really look forward to spend time with her because she pays me practically twice the amount she should. She is always very kind.

The difference…hmm. I am not sexually interested in women and haven’t enjoyed sex with any of them, but again I never enjoy sex with my male clients either so there is no difference there. They all have been very unattractive but again, not so different to most of my clients.

If I think about it, the only major difference that pops into my head is that I always have felt much safer with female clients. Every single one of them have been very polite, no physical or verbal abuse. They completely respect my boundaries and don’t try to push them. There has never been a danger of violence or getting robbed or raped. I feel that they see me as a human. I have had quite a lot of men with whom I have been somehow expressed that they don’t think they only bought services from me but my whole body as an object (‘I paid you, you must do what I say,’ ‘What you mean no anal, you are a hooker you can’t say no’ and so on, you get the idea.)

With men I constantly have my guard on, and I am prepared to for example client trying to put it on the butt without my permission.

So in general I would say I’ve had quite nice experiences with women. They are safer and cleaner gigs that have paid well and that is the best I can get on this job. On the downside, I don’t really enjoy eating pussy and making a woman cum takes a lot longer than with guys, so more work. All of them have been quite gross TBH but again, nothing different from the usual.

Women customers are pretty rare, even with male prostitutes apparently. I know a few dudes selling sex and male clients are much much more common for them too, they wouldn’t be able to make money only with women.”


4. I had enough bad experiences that I set up a policy that I refused any and all female clients.

“I used to do webcam work and I mostly did daddy kink play (it’s not my thing, but I can put it on very well and have a young face). Most of my work was with regular clients with set appointments for private shows. The more they paid, the more likely I was to make effort to keep up a relationship with them outside of cam sessions over text and Skype. I had enough bad experiences that I set up a policy that I refused any and all female clients. Worth noting that I’m a lesbian, and this had nothing to do with my lack of sexual attraction and exclusively to do with how female clients treated me.

When I first started, I had a woman and her husband contact me looking for a full-time relationship. I’m exchange for my attention, they had sent me an order confirmation for five items off my amazon wishlist (posted public to my webcam profile), coat of which totaled to over $3K. This had happened to me before, and so I was excited and they definitely got my attention. I only had communication contact with the wife, but she told me that her husband told her what to ask for from me and such. This is a dom/sub fetish, and so that wasn’t a surprise to me. The requests started fairly normal, sexy photos that were exclusive to them, private webcam shows. The woman was aggressive and had me call her Mistress and would punish me if I got cheeky with her or didn’t deliver on my requests on time. Eventually, after my packages didn’t show up for over a week, I asked for a tracking number and it all went to shit.

The woman accused me of not trusting them and not believing that mommy and daddy were keeping up their end of the bargain, so I contacted Amazon, who confirmed that the order had never been placed. At this point, I knew I was being scammed. I forwarded the email to them, and Mistress flipped out at me threatening to have me arrested for extortion, reported me as a scammer to the website I was contracted with, tried to call the cops on me but it’s hard to arrest someone’s PO box and they had no other living address for me, only the city I lived in, and my screen name. I blocked their contacts, refuse to speak further with them, and they harassed me with new accounts for months. I never saw a face or got a name, and it was to the point where I could not talk to a female user on the site without it turning out to be them.

I was terrified, and annoyed, so I put a blanket ban on PMs and private shows from any female accounts. I’m sure there are plenty of perfectly nice women or couples who want a little girl to spoil, but I put a priority on my sanity.”


5. They are softer physically than men are, they feel very different to touch.

“I’ve seen female clients but only during threesomes where their husband/boyfriend is present.

I find women are a lot more self-conscious, usually shy to start. They often will compare themselves to me, which honestly makes me a bit uncomfortable. It becomes obvious that this is something their husbands talked them into. But I’ve also had crazy hot threesomes where the woman is super into it and really takes charge.

Usually women are better at giving oral sex, since they have the parts themselves and know what they’re doing. Even if it’s their first time it’s almost always better. They are generally much more gentle lovers. They are softer physically than men are, they feel very different to touch. They’re also better kissers, sorry guys ;P

But I’ve never had a female client one on one so I couldn’t really give any insight on that.”


6. In strip clubs, they tend to be the most aggressive.

“Oddly enough in strip clubs they tend to be the most aggressive. I think because we’re both women they think they can go further which isn’t right at all. I’ve also had sex with swingers for money and the women were usually way more behaved because they were grown women and mothers and typically weren’t drunk like at the club. I actually love swingers. People make paid sex out to be depressing but it was always older couples who fed me and were really kind.”


7. The one thing I really appreciate it how beautiful they make me feel.

“Camgirl/GW poster here! Thought I’d give my perspective from a different form of sex work!

About 25% of my members are women, and honestly until you find out that it’s a woman, you couldn’t tell the difference behind the username!

The one thing I really appreciate it how beautiful they make me feel, though; less of a sex object and more of ‘I’m a woman and can appreciate you being a woman’ if that makes any sense. They’ll actively go out of their way to compliment my outfit, makeup, hair and it really brightens my day!

Bottom line, no huge differences. I’ve had respectful female and male members and crazy female members!”


8. Most women patrons of the strip club totally suck.

“Former stripper here: most women patrons of the strip club totally suck. We do occasionally get some ladies who genuinely like ladies (and those ladies are well behaved, respectful, and while they don’t drop fat stacks, they do tip), but for the most part female patrons are THE WORST.

We only really get two types: the ‘cool’ girl and the ‘drunk’ girls.

The cool girl is the girl who went because her boyfriend/friends/coworkers were going and she wanted to be a good sport. She’s either totally bored, or totally intimidated by the dancers. She doesn’t tip (or tips only when a dancer prods her to), doesn’t buy dances, and when one of her companions good-naturedly buys her a dance, she clams up and either refuses to sit for it, or flinches every time said dancer comes near her.

Then there’s the drunk girls. These girls spend money (they love tipping the stage and love getting dances), but they act worse than the dancers. Some of them try to crawl on stage themselves, they get handsy, they get grabby, they say things like ‘it’s okay cause I’m a girl, too.’ They try to kiss you, they cry/get angry when you tell them NO.

Ladies, if you want to come to the strip club, by ALL MEANS, come to the club. But act like normal humans. I don’t want to intimidate you, and I’m not going to ‘steal your man,’ but at the same time I don’t want you to grab/lick my tits, or whip out your own tits at the bar. This is my job. I want your money, and I want to leave. Stop acting like a bozo.”


9. In my experience, women are much more relaxed and into it than their male counterparts.

“I’m a unicorn—bisexual woman interested in group sex—so I’ve had more than my fair share of MFF threesomes with couples I already know or met online. In my experience, women are much more relaxed and into it than their male counterparts. I think men have this expectation that there are now two women that it is their responsibility to please—and then get some combination of stage fright and just overwhelmed.

Guys, just a hint—women can get each other off. Hell, we can get ourselves off without any help from a man at all. You are not the center of a threesome. The girls are interested in you and each other. Novel concept I know. Also, just a hint, the more people involved the more talking you should expect. ‘Do we want to try this?’ ‘Would you like to…?’ ‘What if we…’ Communication is key.

Now, if you happened to talk two straight girls into bed with you all bets are off and good fucking luck.”


10. On the whole, women are far, far more enjoyable than men.

“I’ve only ever had 4 or 5 women clients in a 12-year career; but on the whole, far, far more enjoyable than men. I mean, I’ve had enjoyable male clients, but per capita, women win for me. I’m not attracted to women sexually, but as others have said before, I’m not attracted to most of my clients anyway. I’ve made 2 women squirt and both were in work situations. That is always fun and interesting.

One woman, part of a gorgeous, polyamorous surfer married couple, opened my eyes to the fact that we don’t own our loved ones, and that epiphany brought about one of the best relationships I’ve ever had.

I’ve never had a solo woman client so far, all have been part of a couple, but I also didn’t feel any jealousy from any woman, only beauty and fun. However, I have strict rules for myself in dealing with couples’ calls. I want them both to have a great experience, so I don’t initially fuck the guy unless I’m told that is what the woman wants. In this career, you have to be good at reading people, so I think I have managed to not step on any toes, and I try to send everyone home happy.

I’ve been extremely lucky, all my lady clients were kind, polite, safe feeling, and smoking hot. I can’t say as much for my male clients at all.”


11. All of my female clients have offered to help clean up at the end.

“I am a Professional Dominatrix and have a number of female clients. One of things that I’ve found most interesting is the gender difference in visual stimulation. Blindfolds really help women focus on the experience instead of trying to expect what’s going to happen next and get caught up in their heads. On the other hand, a lot of men have an easier time being focused when they are getting off visually. Of course, there are men who like blindfolds as part of sensory deprivation too, but I’ve had many men specifically request no blindfolds. Definitely a fascinating trend I’ve noticed comparing genders.

Oh, also all of my female clients have offered to help clean up at the end. I have strict cleaning procedure I follow so I decline the offer, but I’ve found it interesting!”


12. I prefer men—they’re a lot easier and less…………fussy/cunty.

“I have had women of all sexual orientation. some want to come into a brothel just for the idea that ‘no other girl would do this’ kinda thing. some have just separated from their husband realizing they are a lesbian.

Most are good. But I prefer men—they’re a lot easier and less…………fussy/cunty.



13. My women clients are friendlier, spend more time with me, tip better and seem to have more of an emotional side to the interaction.

“As a camgirl the vast majority of my clients are of course men, which is great as I love men!

But I made a conscious choice early on to not limit my clientele as I have a job to do and money is money and sex is sex, so why put limitations on my earning potential. I do this for the money, not the sexual gratification. I promote the fact that I am bisexual and as result I have had and do have quite a few clients who are women.

Having said that the women I have engaged with fall into a few different categories as follows: dominant lesbians, submissive lesbians, submissive single bisexuals, closest lesbians, and women in a couple’s situation. All behave differently, and of course have different wants and desires. The most interesting to me are the closet lesbians because many of them first to came to me posing as men and only after some time and building a close intimate type of relationship have they revealed their true identities. I won’t comment on each individual category as to me that seems like getting off topic and is probably more suited to a different thread.

So, back to answering the question…

As a whole I like the men clients as a personal preference, but there is certainly a different feel to the women clients. In general, my women clients are friendlier, spend more time with me, tip better and seem to have more of an emotional side to the interaction. In short, they seem to invest more into the personal side of it. This is not to say that I don’t have men who do this is as well, because I definitely do, it just that percentage-wise, except for the couples’ dynamic, all the women stand out in this way of seeming to be more invested in the interaction.

I want to thank I-stole-the-cookies for asking this question and also all my fellow workers who have taken the time to answer. We don’t often get asked our opinion on things as it just doesn’t fit the job description!


14. Women often wanted to feel wanted and compassion, while the guys kind of just wanted to fuck.

“I worked as an escort for around 6 months, and dealt with almost exclusively female clients. I’d say I had maybe 10 male clients throughout the 6 months.

The male clients were usually more clueless on the female anatomy, but that makes sense. The only other difference is that women often wanted to feel wanted and compassion, while the guys kind of just wanted to fuck, generally.”


15. The women paid better than the men.

“I used to be a sex worker in my town, although it was often frowned upon. Through the country land I would stroll, looking for the nearest BMW or Mercedes to come up to my curb and ask me for the time. Although, we both knew that they weren’t interested in the time. I’d get into their car and they would drive to the nearest pastures, sometimes winding down the windows. The stench of cow shit would affect my blow job abilities and contaminate my mind with endless visuals of feces. Often I would tell these men to shut the window and drive to a different location, yet it was all pointless. Nobody would suffice to my sufferings. Then there were other men that were soft as a feather. One man in particular wanted me to throw pillows at him while he masturbated, it was hysterical and quite possibly the most bizarre thing I’ve ever done (for money, anyway).

Women on the other hand are emotional beings. We all know this, it is nothing new. So when I would encounter a woman on the curb, they would often arrive in a slower and seductive manner. Perhaps a pucker of the lips or the waving of their hand from the driver’s seat. I would stroll over, place my hand on my hip and they would offer me a direct and happy smile. This would engage the two of us in fruitful conversation, in which the topic was often shoes and perfume. It interested me that many of the women preferred Gucci to Prada, absolute monstrosity if you ask me. The lemon notes in their private line is sickening. But anyway, we would get to somewhere private, usually their house as opposed to some quiet road, and the business would begin. There were absurd instances. One poor woman (who in hindsight was clearly a crack head) asked me to watch her masturbate while eating crisps. It was truly insane. Another lassie told me that her husband was upstairs and that she wanted me to serve her the dildo thrill of her life. The women paid better than the men.

But truthfully, everyone was the same. As a sex worker, you do not expect differences in this world, you expect cash and nothing else. There is no sweetness, there is just the salty taste of spunk at the end of the night dribbling down your chin. You arise the next morning, a little less awake of the world than fully drowned within it, struggling to swim.”

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