1. If she smokes, it’s an instant turnoff for me.
“If she smokes, it’s an instant turnoff for me.” My dad, mom, grandma, grandpa, and most of my aunts/uncles smoke (or smoked…) and I can’t stand the shit anymore.
A party girl is a turnoff for me too. I don’t drink anymore for several reasons and I’m done dealing with that lifestyle from anybody. I don’t care if you drink a bit, but I’m not going out to bars etc. and partying with you while you get shitfaced 5 days a week.”
2. Playing hard to get.
“Playing hard to get or acting uninterested. I’m 30, I don’t have time to keep courting you to see if you come around. If you’re not clearly in to me on the first date there won’t be a second.”
3. Seeming uninterested.
“Seeming uninterested or just plain bored of things I like to do.”
4. She says or does things to ‘test the relationship.’
“She says or does things to ‘test the relationship’ or ‘see how I would react.’
Easy, I leave or state ‘You should go’ if at my house.”
5. Plays on her phone the whole time we hang out.
“Plays on her phone the whole time we hang out.”
6. Doesn’t add anything to the conversation.
“Doesn’t add anything to the conversation.
If it takes immense effort to maintain a conversation with you, that’s a turnoff for me.
It’s not my responsibility to make a conversation happen, it’s a team effort.”
7. Having to ‘chase’ her constantly.
“Having to ‘chase’ her constantly. If I’m the only one acting like I give a shit, I’m no longer giving a shit.”
8. Expects me to make all the moves in establishing the relationship.
“Expects me to make all the moves in establishing the relationship. Reciprocity makes the world turn.”
9. When she keeps referencing her ex.
“When she keeps referencing her ex. Nothing says ‘You are only here to fill in the void’ more than her constantly reminding you she had someone before you.”
10. She tells little white lies to other people.
“She tells little white lies to other people, often. Especially people close to her.”
11. If she gives me ‘the silent treatment.’
“If she gives me ‘the silent treatment’ without even telling me why she’s upset.”
12. Disrespecting service workers.
“Disrespecting someone they don’t know for their position in life: janitors, custodians, waiters and cooks, bus drivers, etc. If you believe any of those people are ‘below’ you, then I’m done.”
13. Well, like, I guess, um, like, when they’re like…
“Well, like, I guess, um, like, when they’re like, like an adult, or whatever, and like, for, like, some reasons they, like, you know, um, like, they, like, still, like, talk like this?”
14. WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Woo girls.
“WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Woo girls.”
15. Making fun of someone’s appearance.
“Making fun of someone’s appearance.
Fuck you random woman, that man in my thrift shop’s name is Peter, he was in a horrific car-accident when he was younger and suffered a brain injury as well as some scarring. That’s why he dresses a bit funny and looks kinda dumpy. But he comes in almost every day to buy photo frames to put pictures of his parent in who died in that car accident in. Don’t judge a book by its cover.”
16. She’s ‘not like other girls.’
“She’s ‘not like other girls.’”
17. A shitty attitude.
“A shitty attitude. I remember once I got this hot girl’s number in college and took her out to dinner. She spent the entire time bitching about everything under the sun (parents, friends, the food, the restaurant). At one point I was tempted to sneak out but I stuck it out and it actually got worse. After it was all said and done she tried to get me to take her out again but I weaseled out of it.”
18. Being an airhead.
“Being an airhead. Intelligence is seriously sexy.”
19. Manipulative qualities.
“Manipulative qualities. Having been in a toxic relationship where she did exactly this and was just a sociopath, I’ve gotten good at identifying potential abusive partners. Now landed on my feet after 7 + years dealing with depression and a suicide attempt and having to try and deal with her. Have a beautiful fiancée and going to uni. I don’t look back at all.”
20. Not wanting to be equal in the relationship.
“Not wanting to be equal in the relationship. This killed my last relationship. The standard she held herself to was clearly different than the standards she held me to. It was ‘You should take me out to eat.’ Not ‘Let’s go out to eat.’ The way she treated me and talked to me was not how I was supposed to talk to her or treat her. Worse, she couldn’t see why that was a problem. Got out quick.”
21. Never admitting fault or apologizing when they are wrong.
“Never admitting fault or apologizing when they are wrong.”
22. ‘If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.’
“‘If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.’
Never met anyone who said this or had it on their profile on social media who wasn’t constantly at their worst.”
23. Anything about horoscopes or other new-age bullshit.
“Anything about horoscopes or other new-age bullshit. It’s insufferable to be subjected to that shit, and when a profile is full of it, you know the dialogue will be too. Had one try to get me to do crystal healing, another refused to talk to me because of my astrological sign (I don’t even know what it is), it’s terrible.”
24. Cruelty—to animals, to strangers, to service people, etc.
“Cruelty—to animals, to strangers, to service people, etc. Nothing is more unattractive to me than that.”
25. Making fun of someone’s appearance, disability, or anything really.
“Making fun of someone’s appearance, disability, or anything really. This isn’t just for women but for literally anyone. No need for that shit in the world.”
26. Inability or unwillingness to communicate.
“Inability or unwillingness to communicate, to discuss current situations, to try and understand what is going in the relationship, romantic or not. The only way to find common ground and to understand each other is through communication. If you are not willing to do that…I can’t keep investing my emotions in you.”
27. Horse girls.
“Horse girls. Guys who have dated horse girls will know exactly what I mean. All that shit they say about horse girls is true. You will be the third most important thing to her, behind her horse and her daddy’s money. Not saying every girl who is in the equestrian scene is like this, but I have yet to be proven wrong.”
There’s no quicker way to a lazy noodle than for a drop-dead beauty to open her mouth and hit you with absolute garbage breath. Even worse (And another instant 100-0) if she’s a smoker.
Nothing like a shit-breath combo of Newport Slims and doo-doo.”
29. If she starts badmouthing her friends to me on a first date.
“If she starts badmouthing her friends to me on a first date, it’s almost guaranteed she will badmouth to her friends ABOUT me.
On the other hand, if you tell me about the cool people in your life, I’d love to meet them, and I’ll introduce you to some of my wonderful friends, too. :) Everyone wins.”
30. Acting stupid because they think it’s cute.
“Acting stupid because they think it’s cute. I hate it.”
31. Talking about your exes on a first date.
“Talking about your exes on a first date. I’m recently single so I just started mingling for the first time in a really long time. Every girl I’ve taken out so far has done this and it really has killed the drive to keep doing it.”
32. Crazy amounts of makeup.
“Crazy amounts of makeup and overly materialistic. I would consider myself a ‘minimalist’ so watching someone buy frivolous BS makes me cringe.”
33. Talks, talks, talks, talks, talks, never listens.
“Talks, talks, talks, talks, talks, never listens, if you say something she interrupts but contributes nothing but talks, talks, talks, talks. I don’t make this a secret that I hate it. I work in an almost exclusively female profession and did a peer interview, the coworker I did the interview with said ‘she seems very competent and she’s cute, but she’ll open her mouth, and you’ll hate her.’ What can I say? She was right.”
34. Makes sure to say she’s a feminist as soon and as often as possible.
“Makes sure to say she’s a feminist as soon and as often as possible. Or vegan. Or Christian. Or atheist. Or whatever.
Now, realize that having certain values is one thing, and saying you belong to a certain group or ideology is another.
The first has to do with how you live your life, the second has to do with how you want people to perceive you. And, well, in my experience it’s a bad sign when people want you to focus on what they tell. It usually means that there’s something not quite right with what they show.”
“Whining. Everyone’s life is hard. Complaining and whining about it makes you look like an 8-year-old little girl who can’t handle anything in life. Unfortunately my wife and her 58-year-old mother haven’t seemed to figure that out.”
36. For me it’s tattoos.
“For me it’s tattoos. I know this isn’t a common thing for most guys, but to me, I feel like there are way better ways to acknowledge/honor someone or something important to you than permanently marking your body.
No, I don’t want to know the story behind the dreamweaver on your thigh, or why you have an arrow on your forearm, and honestly I could care less about that bullshit pseudo-theosophical saying or lyric or your shoulder. If that stuff is really important to you then talk to me about it, don’t permanently mark your body with it. That shit lasts forever, tastes and ideas change as time passes, mistakes can be made, AND it won’t remotely look that ‘cool’ in about 20 years. To me tattoos scream ‘I LIVE IN THE MOMENT AND DON’T REMOTELY CONSIDER THE FUTURE!’
Also as many other guys have suggested…
Smoking, shit-talking about others, princess syndrome. I don’t mind religiousness if it’s genuine and not an excuse to cover up a bullshit personality.”
37. Can’t apologize properly.
“Can’t apologize properly.
I don’t mean ‘formal apology’; I’ll take ‘Hey, I’m really sorry,’ ‘I fucked up, I shouldn’t have done that,’ etc. I’m talking about ‘I shouldn’t have done that but you shouldn’t have…’ or ‘That was my bad but you…’ or ‘Sorry. I SAID I’M SORRY, LET IT GO.’
Every shit relationship I’ve ever been in had this in common. If she can’t apologize without making excuses, rationalizing, or justifying, I dump her so fast it leaves skidmarks on the curb. #neverworth”