1. The entry point is lower down than I expected; those things should come with runway lights.
“The entry point is lower down than I expected; those things should come with runway lights.”
2. I thought I had ripped her open and had my hand in her intestines.
“I had a basic idea of what a vagina looked like from sex ed in the seventh grade when I touched my first one in freshman year. It was… interesting. The texture, dampness, and heat made me freak out because I thought I had ripped her open and had my hand in her intestines. I was reaching into her jeans to finger her, so didn’t see what was going on. But yeah, freaked me out a bit.”
3. It was like my finger fell into a perfectly warm fluffy dollop of whipped cream.
“My surprise has been ever since and it amazes me to this day. First time in at third base, we were young, super turned-on, and both fairly virginal. I have never since that day felt any lady-bits that were that soft and moist. It was like my finger fell into a perfectly warm fluffy dollop of whipped cream. Ah, to be 14 again. Thoroughly amazing that now, 26 years and heaps of experience later it is one of my most vivid sexual memories. On that note, ’scuse me I gotta go do…something.”
4. Looked like a busted leather sofa, stuffed with bacon and kebab meat.
“The unashamed meatiness of the seriously flappy vagina I was presented with. Looked like a busted leather sofa, stuffed with bacon and kebab meat.”
5. It was like working back at the fish farm spawn tanks all over again.
“It was like working back at the fish farm spawn tanks all over again.
Thankfully I still had a bar of licorice soap. Seriously, it gets vagoo off like nothing else. Otherwise my hands smell for days.”
6. It was a hot day, so it felt like Singapore in there.
“M O I S T … It was a hot day, so it felt like Singapore in there.”
7. It’s not wet, it’s slimy.
“That the term ‘being wet’ is so inaccurate. ‘Slimy’ would be more precise.”
8. I assumed vaginas hung between a woman’s legs, like a man’s balls.
“Before I saw one, I assumed vaginas hung between a woman’s legs, like a man’s balls. Like she was carrying a purse around down there. I don’t know, I was a kid.”
9. I was surprised she didn’t have a dick.
“That she didn’t have a dick. It was my cousin, we were tiny. I’d not seen a girl naked before, I figured everyone had one. Kinda freaked out. It got worse, though. In the couple months afterwards I saw 2 other girls naked. By this point I was starting to notice a pattern: I’ve seen 4 people naked, and I’m the only one with this floppy stuff in front of my legs. Clearly I must have a defect. So I went crying to my grandpa about how I needed to see a doctor to get rid of it.”
10. Girls can just get soaking wet.
“How wet vaginas could get, like I thought it was just mostly interior lubricant but turns out girls can just get soaking wet…”
11. How fast the female vagina can get from zero to wet.
“How fast the female vagina can get from zero to wet.”
12. The lube can get thick and white and gunky.
“Some women, i.e., the first one I was with, produce quite a bit of wetness, and it can get thick and white and gunky (which is no big deal, but turns out porn edited that detail out).”
13. The horrific smell.
“The first vagina I encountered smelled horrific.”
14. The typical vagina is just as gorgeous and magical as the ones in the magazines.
“That even though most women don’t look like Penthouse or Hustler models, the typical vagina is just as gorgeous and magical as the ones in the magazines. Thank you, women.”
15. The flaps.
16. It’s really close to the butt.
“It’s really close to the butt.”
17. It had a scent I’d never smelled before.
“The taste and smell. Not bad or anything, just the scent of it when aroused was so different from my own body or even hers in other normal daily situations.”
18. The clit is NOT hard to find at all.
“That the clit is NOT hard to find at all. It’s right there. Right at the top. Big or small, it’s in the same location. Press that little button & it’s like hitting GO on a roller coaster. I have no idea why the claim of ‘the clit is hard to find’ or ‘”the clit is a myth’ is so rampant.”
19. I actually liked the taste.
“That I would actually like the taste! The boys I grew up with had told so many horror stories of rancid fish and salty ass that I was terrified to put my mouth on a vagina. First chance I got, I gave it a shot and immediately became a fan. Sure, it’s not a scent I’d make into a candle or anything, but there is definitely something about having my lover’s musk on me that just triggers some primal shit. I’d say probably 75% of sex with my wife is cunnilingus and we’re both thrilled about it.”
20. The stink/shame followed me for a very long time.
“How long the smell would stick to your hands, face, etc… My first vagina was attached to a not-so-pleasant looking lady and the stink/shame followed me for a very long time.”
21. How strong they can clench.
“How strong they can clench. Jesus didn’t think I was gonna get my hand out the same condition it went in.”
22. The smell made me go feral.
“Didn’t taste anything like what I expected (sweet-ish, yet salty/tangy on the tip of the tongue?), and the smell made me go feral…drove me completely wild…Sometimes the smell would sink into my upper lip and fingers; I’d just be sitting at work with a hard on cuz I smelled pussy all day….All those years of watching porn did pay off because apparently I knew exactly what I was doing :)”
23. I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered vaginas actually move, pulse, and squeeze.
“I remember thinking a vagina was just an immobile tunnel. I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered vaginas actually move, pulse, and squeeze. I was even more surprised once when I was with a girl and her vagina basically GRABBED my dick in such a way that during those couple seconds I don’t think I would be able to pull out without pain. Which brings a question I’ve always wanted to ask girls: When the vagina squeezes, is this a conscious thing, or is the girl down there doing its own thing?”
24. Didn’t expect her to be able to grip like she had another hand in there!
“How far round/under/down the actual entrance to a vag is. And the grip. Didn’t expect her to be able to grip like she had another hand in there!”
25. I internally freaked out when my hand felt all these weird skin folds.
“I was so surprised by the labia. I remember making my move when we were laying on a secluded beach (15-year-old idea of romance). And I internally freaked out when my hand felt all these weird skin folds. Luckily I kept my shit together, she suggested we go back to her house where it’s more private. I spent that walk back trying to figure out what the hell the flapping thing was that I felt and panicking over where the damn hole was going to be.”