1. I thought penises were shaped like road cones.
“All my life I thought penises were shaped like road cones. I was absolutely taken aback when I saw one for the first time. I actually didn’t want to touch it because it appeared to be looking at me.”
2. I thought dicks were the thickness of pencils.
“For some reason I thought dicks were the thickness of pencils. Total shocker.”
3. THEY CAN FUCKING MOVE!?!?!?
“I was most surprised about how velvety soft penises are, and THEY CAN FUCKING MOVE!?!?!? Seriously, I stopped, sat up, and stared at his junk for a solid minute demanding he make it twitch because I actually couldn’t believe what I was seeing.”
4. No hole between the asshole and penis?
“Being a girl I know there’s only a small space between my vagina and asshole, but for a guy it’s just his asshole then is smooth all the way down to his penis it’s weird I always look for another hole but there’s never going to be one.”
5. I didn’t know balls were in separate sacks.
“That guys don’t have two balls. I thought the first guy I went down on only had one ball. Didn’t know they weren’t in separate sacks.”
6. The moving ballsack looks like a deep-sea mollusk.
“How the skin on ballsacks move, like, when the balls are lowering or retracting I guess (???). It still blows my mind, it looks like a deep-sea mollusk. I remember the first time I got a really close, well-lit look at my boyfriend’s ballsack as the skin on it gracefully shifted in many directions at once. I was so awestruck by its independent motions. I had no idea that any part of a human body could move in this otherworldly manner.
I took a close-up video to show him because I wasn’t sure he understood what I was talking about and he got all embarrassed and made me delete it.”
7. The first experience I had with balls changed my life; I was like a caveman discovering fire.
“How much fun the balls can be! Yeah, sure, the cock was awesome but the balls fascinated me coz they reminded me of squishy stress balls. You could see them moving around while he stayed motionless! I swear the first experience I had with balls changed my life; I was like a caveman discovering fire.”
8. How fucking goofy it looks.
“How fucking goofy it looks. I can’t imagine why guys send dick pics. Why would you want to show off something that looks so ridiculous? Seriously, just because it feels nice doesn’t mean it’s sexy to look at. I mean, I’m sure vaginas aren’t very pretty either, but I don’t hear complaints about unwanted vag pics.”
9. They go from practically mush to a fucking bone in 10 seconds.
“How hard dicks get and how floppy and silly they are when soft. It just blows my mind they go from practically mush to a fucking bone in 10 seconds.”
10. Dick is fucking baby-skin soft.
“How soft dick is…Other parts of men skin is rough or callous but somehow. Dick is fucking baby-skin soft. I was like woahhhh! O___O”
11. Ball sack is like constantly morphing.
“Ball sack is like constantly morphing. Super neat.”
12. It felt more delicate than I expected.
“They’re always yanking on these things like they’re gonna rip them clean off, then when I touch it, it feels so damn delicate and I’m told to be gentle….”
13. I assumed there were two little sacks of testicles hanging of either side of the penis, not one sack with two testicles in them.
“This is dumb but I was surprised at what balls actually looked like. Because of the drawings of penises that people always drew, I assumed there were two little sacks of testicles hanging of either side of the penis, not one sack with two testicles in them, if that makes sense.”
14. I thought only children had foreskins.
“My first time was a game of I’ll show you mine if you show me yours when I was around 5 years old. The boy was not circumcised.
12 years later, I was losing my virginity. The boy was circumcised. I had no idea what circumcision was, so I assumed that the difference in appearance was due to some sort of change that happens due to puberty. The next 3 dicks I saw were all circumcised.
Until, the 4th dick I saw was uncircumcised. I didn’t want to embarrass him by mentioning it and spent months believing that he had an adult-sized child dick. I privately wondered what went wrong with his puberty. One day after we broke up, I mentioned it to a girlfriend, and was educated on circumcision. Felt like an idiot.”
15. Penises are soft! And velvety. And fun to play with.
“Penises are soft! And velvety. And fun to play with. I had identified as a lesbian for a long time before I met my current SO (who is a man). ’Twas a pleasant bisexual realization.”
16. Have you ever just watched balls relax and contract while your boyfriend is lying down after sex?
“Have you ever just watched balls relax and contract while your boyfriend is lying down after sex? It’s so fascinating. I just want to poke them and play with them. The first time I touched an erect penis was through my ex’s skinny jeans when I was 14. It actually felt like wood! Freaked me right out.”
17. Guys tend not to groom down there at all.
“That guys tend not to groom down there at all, whilst women often put a lot of effort into it. I didn’t expect that guys go to quite the same lengths because obviously body hair in general is more common with males. But I figured most probably trimmed things up. Nope.”
18. How velvety soft a penis is.
“How velvety soft a penis is. Soft or hard it always feels so nice. I can spend hours just touching, stroking, jerking, and playing with my boyfriend’s penis.”
19. The size difference between soft and hard dick.
“The size difference between soft and hard dick. It went from ‘huh, cute, slightly disappointing tho, kinda looks like a pear’ to ‘oh’ to ‘that is SO not gonna fit’ really fast.”
20. Balls are cold and clammy.
“How cold/clammy balls are compared to everything else.”
21. The balls. THEY MOVE ON THEIR OWN.
“The balls. THEY MOVE ON THEIR OWN.”
22. The slit in the top of the dick.
“The slit in the top of the dick. I assumed it would be more of a little round hole than a slit.”
23. Not so big.
“That is wasn’t anywhere near as big as promised/advertised.”
24. He could make it jump.
“That he could make it jump haha.”
25. Penises are really really gross and ugly.
“Penises are really really gross and ugly. To the point where I almost can’t have sex with the lights on because they freak me out.”