1. They insist that they’re great at sex.
“They insist that they’re great at sex.”
2. They brag about their penis size.
“Bragging, even more if it is related to his penis size.”
3. They’re incredibly selfish.
“I’ve been with a bad lover before. Didn’t see them as warning signs before but looking back, she was incredibly selfish—wanted massage but never massaged me back, wanted nice meals but never participated in the prep, etc. If they only care about themselves outside the sack they will only care about themselves inside the sack.”
4. They don’t know how to pet a cat without irritating it.
“The way a guy pets a cat tells me a lot. Some cats are more responsive to head scratches and others tummy rubs. If they can gauge what the cat likes from the first few initial pets without irritating the cat, they’re good at knowing what you want.”
5. They just ‘attack’ the boob or vag with no finesse during foreplay.
“Sex worker here. I can answer this. If the guy just ‘attacks’ the boob with his mouth or shoves his fingers into the vag with no rhyme or reason he will suck in bed guaranteed.”
6. They’re easily disgusted.
“Very picky when it comes to food/drinks and easily disgusted. Sex is a lot of awkward sounds and smells, and if you are easily disgusted you will have a hard time letting loose. Definitely not scientific, but from my experience girls that like beer don’t mind swallowing.”
7. They’re a spoiled brat.
“If they’re a spoiled brat, the odds are they’re use to being fucked and not fucking back.”
8. They use lots of teeth when kissing.
“They use lots of teeth when kissing.”
9. They’re fussy.
“If they are super particular in the rest of their lives. i.e., They send food back at restaurants, they are overly specific when ordering a coffee, they constantly complain about other people, etc…”
10. They have body issues.
“If they really don’t like their own body, or think they’re not attractive at all.”
11. They’re a virgin.
“If they have not had it before.”
12. They don’t know how to laugh at themselves.
“They take everything too seriously and don’t know how to laugh at themselves.
Like…when you’re with a new partner, shit’s gonna go wrong, you’re gonna say ‘ow’ or “what the fuck are you doing” or ‘ehhh maybe not THERE’ at some point. A good sense of humor is the difference between someone who’ll have a bit of a chuckle over a particularly bad blunder but take your feedback well and work with it, and someone who’ll stress over it and get pissed off and frustrated and ultimately kill the mood.
There’s no such thing as someone who’s ‘just bad at sex’ IMO, just someone who isn’t willing to learn.”
13. They’re way too eager.
“For men, if they’re way too eager. They probably won’t last two minutes.”
14. They brag about how long they can last.
“Bragging about how long they can last. I knew a guy in high school who, in a very thinly-veiled attempt to fuck me, was bragging that his ex-girlfriend’s friend had TIMED THEM from the other room once and he had lasted 5+ hours. Like, straight. Not 5 hours of sexy times, 5 hours of just sex. Besides the fact that it’s weird as fuck to have someone time you, IF that was true… Dude, no one with a vagina wants it to be fucked for five solid hours without a break. FUCK. THAT. (Spoiler alert: dude lasted maybe 2-3 minutes..)”
15. They moan louder than a porn star while kissing.
“Moaning louder than a female porn star while we were kissing. That guy never reached the second base.”
16. They’re self-righteous.
“Any kind of self-righteousness usually comes with bad rhythm and poorly executed ‘moves.’”
17. They thrust their rigid tongue into your mouth while kissing.
“Rudely thrusting your rigid, pointed tongue into someone’s mouth over and over while kissing. I mean. Don’t.”
18. They don’t like giving oral.
“A clear sign someone is not good in bed is when they don’t like giving oral sex.”
19. They don’t like receiving oral.
“If a woman tells me she doesn’t feel comfortable to let me go down on her, that’s pretty much a 100% reliable sign that the sex is going to be terrible. If she’s not comfortable enough with her body to receive oral sex, she’s not going to be comfortable enough to do much of anything else.”
20. They’re excessively skinny.
“A girl that is excessively skinny. Often that is due to body image issues which I find can cause self consciousness when it comes to sex. I have had sex with both anorexic girls and chubbier girls and the chubby girls win.”
21. They’re dumb and attractive.
“As a very good general rule, dumb people are bad at sex. Really attractive dumb people are even worse at it.”
22. They can’t dance.
“Bad dancing and Rhythm = bad sex I was with a girl who was so bad I had to fake an orgasm. Good thing we were using condoms so she wouldn’t notice. The timing was just off and even when I grabbed her to force the rhythm it just wasn’t working. Freddy turned into a frightened turtle faster than cold water.”
23. They’re very good-looking (and know it).
“I have found quality of sex to be inversely proportional to looks. The prettiest girls I’ve been with have also been the worst in bed. They just lay there like, “Okay. Do the sex now.” It was kind of depressing.”
24. They don’t take criticism well.
“If they don’t take criticism well, chances are they won’t take direction well in bed. They’ll take all your suggestions/commands/whatever as an attack on them personally. Things can really go south after that…for both of you.”