Thought Catalog

What Does It Mean To ‘Be A Man’? 40 Men Share Their Deepest Feelings

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Drew Hays
Found on AskReddit.

1. Boys make excuses. Men take responsibility.

“‘Boys make excuses. Men take responsibility.’

A teacher told me that senior year of high school and it has stuck with me ever since.

When my teacher said this, he was referring to taking responsibility for your own actions. Not responsibility in general.

Didn’t study for a test or turn in a homework assignment? Don’t make excuses. You didn’t study and you didn’t turn in the assignment. Own up to it and deal with the consequences.

Did you fuck up at work? Don’t blame it on another co-worker. Don’t try to cover it up. Come clean. Admit your mistake and deal with the consequences.

Did you knock up your girlfriend or some random woman you met at a bar and she’s keeping the kid? Don’t want to be a dad? Tough shit, you’re a father now. Doesn’t mean you have to get married and or even be a part of the kid’s life, but don’t run off and pretend it never happened. You’ve changed this woman’s life. Own up to it and help her out. Deal with the consequences.”

blueholeload


2. It means having rough hands that can crush or caress. It means sticking up for yourself even if it means getting your ass kicked.

“It means eating what’s for dinner whether you enjoy it or not. It means waking up tired and early and going to bed when you aren’t even tired. It means letting your shoes get dirty and wearing a pair of pants so long there is a permanent wallet imprint on the pocket. It means having rough hands that can crush or caress. It means sticking up for yourself even if it means getting your ass kicked. It means pissing in the yard because you like too, not because your neighbors or your loved one tells you that you shouldn’t.”

RRettig


3. Know the difference between being firm/assertive and just being an asshole.

“Know the difference between being firm/assertive and just being an asshole.

Metaphorically speaking, getting back from harvesting and placing food on the table, but watch your family eat their fill before eating yourself.

Know how to endure suffering, but being open to the fact that seeking help or showing emotions is acceptable.

First one into danger and last one out.

Being humble and standing up for what you believe in despite the odds or the doubters say.

Accepting things as they are if they can’t be helped i.e. accepting the fact that you are going to get wet if it rains suddenly, so you might as well take it like a man instead of cursing your bad luck.

Know when to be deadly serious and when to be relaxed.

Know when to rely on others and when to do something alone i.e. there are just somethings in life that a man has to conquer alone.”

Billy-Orcinus


4. Doing the things that need to be done, even if you don’t wanna do them.

“Doing the things that need to be done, even if you don’t wanna do them.”

DLTMIAR


5. A man takes responsibility for his decisions and doesn’t take advantage of people who can’t defend themselves.

“A man takes responsibility for his decisions and doesn’t take advantage of people who can’t defend themselves.”

flashlightbulb


6. Be a gentleman on the streets, caveman in the sheets.

“Be a gentleman on the streets, caveman in the sheets.”

liquid_cymbal


7. No self-pity, no excuses, do what needs to be done.

“Essentially:
• Self-reliance
• Pursuit of self-improvement
• Pursuit of goals, despite obstacles, or conflicts of interest
• Being reliable to others and dependable
• Consistency and conviction based on rationality, having a backbone.
• No self-pity, no excuses, do what needs to be done
• Derive meaning and purpose from goals/performance, not others

What it does not mean:
• Enforcing mindless moral/ethics in regards to rules such as gender/expectations, think for the self
• Clothing styles
• Grooming styles
• Sexuality
• Inane attributes
• Senseless/misguided pride
• Harming others with no goal greater than self-satisfaction

To me, being a man is about what you make of you, and your life. To be rational in your decisions, and just, knowing when to abandon lost causes and focus on the self. Admit when wrong, and change for the better. Independence is a huge part of it, and self-reliance.”

Typhera


8. Being able to take care of myself, whatever the obstacle in my path.

“• Not fucking other people over for personal gain.
• Not misleading people I care about for any reason.
• Telling the truth when it hurts to.
• Being open with my feelings about sensitive topics.
• Not doing stupid shit just because I’m expected to by some moronic stereotype.
• Being able to take care of myself, whatever the obstacle in my path.
• Taking care of the things that depend on me, no matter what.”

idiotsonfire


9. Being a man is about holding true to your code but not at the cost of others.

“Being a man isn’t about being strong. It’s about standing up to bad people even if you are obviously at a physical disadvantage. Being a man is about holding true to your code but not at the cost of others. A Real Man never, no matter what, hits a woman. That’s not sexism. It’s common decency. A man should be able to take a joke and keep his cool. Above all , since time long past, we would even give our lives to a righteous cause just so people would say, ‘He’s a real man!’”

sanjaykrishna42


10. Knowing how to be happy without relying on other people.

“Knowing how to be happy without relying on other people. Knowing how and when to stick up for yourself without being overly cocky. Having conviction in your beliefs but willing to be corrected when you’re wrong.

Basically, just being able to rise above all the bullshit surrounding you, being independent and able to focus on your own goals and projects, being toughened by the hard lessons in life, while allowing all of it to humble you instead of drag you down.”

SuckMyJagon


11. A real man accepts responsibility, leads courageously, is not passive, and looks for the greater reward.

“My dad took pretty seriously the idea of teaching my brother and I about manhood.

In the 6 weeks leading up to my 12th birthday he took me out for breakfast every Saturday where we talked about life and puberty, etc. When I reached my 12th birthday he told me I had completed stage one of my journey to manhood. He gave me a poster he had made that listed 4 qualities of a real man.

A real man:
Accepts responsibility.
Leads courageously.
Is not passive.
Looks for the greater reward.

That poster hung on my wall as a reminder. For my 16th birthday he took me out for a big steak dinner and told me I had completed stage 2 of the journey to manhood. He gave me another poster with 3 more principles on it:
Works for a living.
Is a one-woman man.
Lives for a cause greater than himself.

I knew as I approached my 18th birthday that it would be considered my graduation into manhood. This meant my mum and dad would view me as a peer and an equal, not a subordinate.

For my 18th birthday we had a big celebration. Both of my grandfathers gave speeches and so did my Dad. He told me he was proud of me, and as cheesy as it may seem he gave me a little trophy he had made which had a matchbox toy combine harvester on it, along with an engraving that read:
A man reaps what he sows.

It was clear to me at that point that I was free to make whatever choices I wanted to as a grown man, but my father had demonstrated all of the principles he had given me so well, that all I wanted to do was emulate him. If I turn out to be half the man my dad is, I’ll do pretty well.”

TON777


12. Being calm in a bad situation.

“Being calm in a bad situation.

I’m a guy and I don’t consider a man because he’s jacked or some shit. I’ve seen jacked guys who hit the gym be the biggest pussies I’ve ever seen.

The guy who is able to remain calm and try to figure out a solution to a bad situation is the guy everyone ends up looking up to. The guy who’s like this in my group of friends is Dan. Not the loudest, not the best looking and not the most fit. But holy shit when things get crazy or we are in some bad situation we all turn to him.

Just being in his presence makes me calm.”

thedreaminggoose


13. You look deep into yourself, and you decide for yourself what is and isn’t important to you.

“When you’re a boy, you are very impressionable. You do what your mom says. You want your dad to be proud of you. You dress how the rock stars and rappers dress on TV, even though they’re really just paid to promote those clothes. You care about how your peers look at you.

But when you ‘become a man,’ I think you stop caring about that stuff. You look deep into yourself, and you decide for yourself what is and isn’t important to you. If you want to have kids and raise a family, then do that. If you want to go to strip clubs every night and smoke weed err day, go for it. But you be honest with yourself, accept the consequences, and do your thing without shame.

If you blindly do what others want you to do, you’re not an adult, you’re just a tool.”

turtles_and_frogs


14. Family is your heart. Work is your mind and your body. Friends are your soul.

“Community. Middle-aged men have a large specter of loneliness hanging over them in our society. You’re too old to be going out all the time, and so are all your old friends who know you the best. Your life consists of work and family time.

If you’re not lucky enough to have truly great friends at work, or a fantastic, stable neighborhood full of great people, or a large, close family that is also nearby, then your life is full of…acquaintances.

And that’s no way to go through half your life. Men need men, in a male bonding way, but also in a brother way. How many men are going to be hanging over beers with their bowling league buddies and talk about their deepest feelings and fears? For that, you need old, good friends.

Maybe women have the same problem, but I think that for men, this family-life isolation combines with an idea that you only show your deep feelings to certain people.

In some places in the world that are not driven by acquisition and nuclear families, it’s common for large groups of people to get together regularly and just hang out, talk, and be social. That is, many times a week. We just don’t have that.

There are a handful of men I know with whom I’d share my true troubles, and even though we all live in the same city, I see most of them maybe once a month. For some, more like a few times a year now. Everyone has work, everyone has family.

I can imagine a world where I could see those people important to me every week, even multiple times a week. It would be great. But I can also not imagine how that would work with everyone’s busy work and family schedules. And, again, I play sports with some guys weekly, I see plenty of other dads around town, but that shit just ain’t the same as having – and cultivating – true friendships. There’s just not a lot of life left after work and family for that.

Probably there are a ton of 40-year-old dads out there who, like me, miss the younger days not so much because of all the partying or the romantic freedom, or the fewer responsibilities, but because those were years of being surrounded by friends.

A few weeks ago, my wife took the kids for a sleepover at the grandparents’ house, so I could have the place to myself for a guys’ night. About a dozen of my truest friends came over, and we sat around the yard doing nothing but smoking weed, drinking whiskey, tending a fire, and shooting the shit – for hours. I’m trying to make that a regular thing.

Family is your heart.

Work is your mind and your body.

Friends are your soul.”

jseego


15. You. Are. Going. To. Fuck. Up. Learn how to learn from it, and you have prevented the fuckup from fucking you up.

“To me it’s when these revelations hit:

Your parents were people. And they fucked up. A lot. Sure they coulda done better, but your ass is alive, knows how to use a spoon, wipe your ass, and you can read. So they didn’t do too badly. Don’t stress about what damage they did do, stress about how you’re gonna fix it, and god willing do better.

That women are very mentally similar to you. They just wanna find someone to snuggle with and fuck occasionally too. Stop over complicating it.

You’re gonna be the asshole sometimes even when you’re 2000% sure you’re right. But sometimes man, just pull an Elsa, let it go, buy the asshole you had an argument with a soda, and go on without making a pointless enemy.

Alcohol is a chemical depressant. It will not help you when you’re depressed.

Don’t get paid to do your hobbies. You’ll hate them eventually.

And goddamn, doing a job right is so worth the extra time and effort, when it looks good, works right, and you can just stand back, look at it and say ‘fucking a I’m glad I didn’t cut corners’ and you get that small tingle of pride in your chest, it’s so goddamn worth it compared to getting done faster.

You. Are. Going. To. Fuck. Up. Learn how to learn from it, and you have prevented the fuckup from fucking you up.”

FallenCypher25


16. Be genuine. Be a good person. Virtue doesn’t know gender.

“Honor your feelings. Experience them, accept them, let them pass over you, fully processed.

Stand up for any in need. Teach them to stand up for themselves. Set examples, practice whatever you preach. With enough time, effort, and results, you become a credible source of insight and a man people look up to.

Do your best as a leader, or be the most supportive follower you can be.

Always be mindful of the moment you live in.

If you want to be the best, strive to be. Just don’t let it get to your head. You are one among so many.

If you’re able, make sure your own hurts, ails, and sacrifices are greater than others, especially your family. But don’t act a martyr! Be a provider and a protector.

Be genuine. Be a good person. Virtue doesn’t know gender.

I try to do these each day. Do I succeed? No. Not always, not even most of the time. But as I grow older, I’m getting better, more consistently reliable. This list isn’t comprehensive, but I hope it offers insight into my view.”

ExpressNumber


17. Being able to power through moments without breaking.

“• Keeping your word
• Owning up to your mistakes
• Loyalty to those who have shown you loyalty
• Support those who need your support most
• Always try doing the right thing, even when it’s hard (because that’s when it counts most)
• Being able to power through moments without breaking.”

Nowwatchingyou3


18. To me, being a man is living up to your commitments and protecting and providing for your family.

“To me, being a man is simply a matter of age, after you turn 21, you are a man. There is a saying ‘being a man is a matter of age, being a gentleman is a matter of class.’ While this holds true, the common perception of a guy ‘being a man’ is having a very macho persona.

Thinking in context of being a kid, all kids probably look up to their dad (assuming they aren’t pieces of shit deadbeats.) Most kids think their dads are the strongest, smartest guy they know; and I think as a father, you have to kinda live up to that for your kids.

To me, being a man is living up to your commitments, protecting and providing for your family, sacrificing things to ensure the best for your wife and kids, and being an all-around good person.”

FTWmedic31


19. Doing the right thing even when it is hard. Being brave. Helping other people.

“Doing the right thing even when it is hard. Being brave. Helping other people.”

AudioslaveFan


20. I’ve always thought being a man is taking responsibilities for my actions and being a person of integrity.

“I’ve always thought being a man is taking responsibilities for my actions and being a person of integrity. For example, I believe ‘my word is my bond’ and I expect that from everyone I meet. If your word means nothing, then I can’t consider you a ‘man,’ so to speak.”

turkeyinthestrawman


21. You make no excuses for yourself.

“You make no excuses for yourself.

You are self-contained, self-reliant.

You can be depended upon.

You bang like a romance novel.”

dmun


22. Being a man is knowing when to go it alone.

“Being a man is knowing when to go it alone, knowing when to ask for help, and being the person people think of first to call when life goes sideways.”

jbergzzz


23. My role as a man usually falls to the stoic, rocklike support structure, a role most men will recognize.

“I guess the issue of modern masculinity (and the cause and thorn of so much discussion) is that there shouldn’t really be anything that’s exclusively ‘man’ stuff and not ‘adult’ stuff, unless we admit to having different expectations for men and women.

I still expect grown-ass women to ‘take responsibility,’ to ‘work for a living,’ and all the other stuff I’ve seen so far. If this thread was a list of things men think men do, reading differently it’s a list of things men think women don’t do.

As I’ve experienced life, my role as a man usually falls to the stoic, rocklike support structure, a role most men will recognize. However, I don’t know if that’s something I chose, or the role I suited best, or the role that was absent when the roles were being decided. I’ve always been told (and seen supported most of the time) that in a heterosexual relationship, the man is a Rock and the woman is the Ocean. Obviously that is heavily prescriptive and I’m sure there are many people reading who have contrary and opposite experiences.

Honestly, I don’t think there is anything unique to men except how to control those ‘male’ urges that not all of us experience, or to reach those ‘male’ goals that not all of us want.”

Simianay


24. Keep your word. Maintain integrity, especially when no one is looking.

“Keep your word. Maintain integrity, especially when no one is looking. Do the things you need to do, even if they’re not the things you want to do. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for others who can’t stand for themselves.

When you make decisions, accept the consequences. Accept responsibility for the decisions you make and the consequences of the results.

Take care of yourself so you will be capable to take care of those who fall under your wing.

Remember, it’s OK to cry, to be afraid, to lose hope for a moment. But when you’re done with that moment, get the fuck back up and remind life you’re in charge of it.”

el_pok


25. I see it as I have to be there for those around me, a tower of strength and a role model if I ever am so lucky.

“Firstly as a man I have to be strong, although as a teen I focused on the physical implications of that, it’s not what I mean at all anymore. For me being a man is about being reliable, and even when life gets me down I don’t give up, I just do what I have to do. For instance, when I recently hurt myself badly while playing sport, I pushed through the pain and walked all the way to the hospital, because I had to, no one could carry me, I had people helping sure, but I had to make myself keep putting one foot in front of the other. So yeah, no matter how hard or impossible things seem, do what you have to do.

Secondly I see myself as a defender, even if I’m emotionally shattered I’ll be there for those close to me. For me, I’ll manage myself, I’m the one person whose actions I can control (AKA I’m not about to commit suicide) and I’ll never forgive myself if someone close to me as much as makes an attempt on their life and I was too caught up in my own problems when they reached out to me… Again…

I feel I should explain that I don’t think this is the role of every man, but for what being a man means to me, what I have to be myself, to be able to call myself a man. Yeah, I’m a bit old fashioned. But yeah, I see it as I have to be there for those around me, a tower of strength and a role model if I ever am so lucky.

Sure, I fit the physical for manly as well, bearded, big/tall and strong, but if I let that get in the way of making people smile and feel safe? Eh not worth it, so here I’ll stand a stalwart defender in a tutu and makeup.”

Thepsycoman


26. Being able to deal with shit.

“Being able to deal with shit.

Bad day? Deal with it. Car broke down? Fix it. Wife is crying? Comfort her. Heavy thing needs to be moved? Be strong or clever enough to move it. Kids need food? Work your ass off until they’re secure. Bad dude threatening your family? Put his ass in its place.

Something too big to deal with yourself? Get together with a group of dudes, have the best one be your leader, and deal with the big shit together.

If you don’t have shit to deal with right now, spend your time preparing to deal with shit.

And if you’re worn down enough you can’t deal with shit anymore—find a quiet minute to crack a beer with a friend, reset, and deal with that shit, too.
But only after the outside shit is dealt with.

Not saying women can’t or don’t deal with shit. Ton of women do an amazing job of dealing with shit. But for men it’s a requirement.”

yrrosimyarin


27. Needing only yourself.

“Needing only yourself. Enjoying others for only positive benefits instead of needing to rely on them. Relying on other people is weak. Relying on yourself, and succeeding with only that, is strong.

Being both mentally and physically hardened. If you aren’t, you’re still a boy. Which is okay, but work on it for your own sake and the benefit of those around you. Don’t let yourself grow old without ever becoming a man. It will be the biggest regret of your entire life. And you won’t realize just how true this is, until you achieve it. You’ll look back and thank yourself for becoming who you chose to be, to attain something(or rather, someone) more than you once were.

Doing what needs to be done regardless of how I, or anyone else feels about it. Feelings mean nothing compared to need. They are irrelevant to what needs to be done.

Leading yourself along the path that you want to take. And taking what you want from life, instead of asking for it or having it given to you. If you have to have something given to you, you are not in a position of power.

Not all males are men. It’s something you earn and strive for, basically the highest form of a guy that you can be. Not everyone makes it there. Many sit back passively and take what is given to them. A lot of guys never attain it, which is a huge shame because it is something we should all strive for. Your life will never function better than when you achieve this.

I’m thoroughly disappointed in all this recent talk of essentially feminizing men, it’s leading us away from the best we can be. It’s not that the things they teach are bad, but rather they are bad for us. We are not meant to be Women. We are meant to be Men. The differences between a feminine woman and a masculine man, are exactly what allow them to complement each other and function well. Remove that, and things become confused and don’t function anywhere near as well. The most successful relationships you’ll see are between a feminine woman, and a masculine man.”

xTRYPTAMINEx


28. Protecting those that need defending.

“Helping an elderly neighbor with yard work. Protecting those that need defending. Setting an example for all men to live by. I feel men have lost what it means to be a man. Our society has left us with a shell. Things like; having the most money, power or notches on our bedpost has turned our gender into a huge pile of collective douche. How strong you are does not dictate your masculinity. How you behave does.”

soundtechcinema


29. A man handles his business before pleasure.

“A man handles his business before pleasure. Taking care of a family takes precedence over all else. Once you have a family, you do what you need to do to provide for them. You have to become a selfless person.

You have to sacrifice your personal life when you have children. I work a very demanding job, but still find time to coach sports, attend school activities, and spend time hanging out with my kids. Why? Because when they’re grown up, I can’t go back and redo their childhood, so I have one shot to make it the best for them, and teach them how a dad should be to his kids, so that maybe someday, they can be great dad’s themselves.

You have to make sure your wife is happy. That doesn’t mean buying things…most of the time she will be happy if you listen to her talk, and help with household things like cleaning, laundry, etc. Women aren’t quite as complicated as you think, all they want is your time and some help.

I had a shitty dad, so I had a poor example of what to do growing up. I didn’t get good advice, I didn’t get attention, and he was awful to my mom. The good thing is, he taught me exactly what NOT to do, so I have been able to model my adult self by doing everything the opposite of what I experienced as a child.”

JohnnyWhiteguy


30. Owning up to your mistakes. Taking responsibility.

“Owning up to your mistakes. Taking responsibility. Being able to deal with many problems that not many people would. Learning when to be quiet. Treat everyone equally, not being petty. Being able to provide when it’s your responsibility. Being ambitious.

Things like that, but I gotta tell you, ever since I’ve been working out (can’t at the moment have a heart virus) I’ve been feeling more ambitious. So if I had to say one of the last things on the list would definitely be to work out, not many people see how much it can really affect yourself in terms of your gender and sex. I guess you could say ever since I started working out I’ve been feeling like I can take on the world and do many things that would seem impossible.

Anyways, that’s what I think makes a man.”

sungiver


31. They are honest, loyal and their character is supported by a deeply ingrained integrity that you can just feel in their presence.

“All of the ‘real men’ I know have no idea that they’re considered ‘real men’. That’s because they do not seek nor want outsiders’ validation and that is certainly not their motivation in how they live their life. They are honest, loyal and their character is supported by a deeply ingrained integrity that you can just feel in their presence. They have conviction and they are proud but they will be the first to concede when they’re wrong. They NEVER show off. They don’t need to. They know what they are. They lead by example.

The true litmus test for a man is the image they feel the need to project onto others. ‘A real man’ is secure in his path and has no need to blow his trumpet.”

ajstrange1


32. Not taking the easy way out.

“Not taking the easy way out. Walk the high road when you have to, make sacrifices, compromise, be strong enough to carry your friends and family through hard times, but strong enough to know when it’s you that needs to be carried. Work hard, love hard. Be brave. that means being afraid but not showing your fear. Accepting that life isn’t always going to be good, but standing strong in the face of its adversities.

Knowing how to sharpen and use an axe to trim your beard doesn’t hurt, either.”

Ripsyd


33. Respect everyone. Listen to your loved ones.

“Respect everyone. Listen to your loved ones. Have manners please, thank you, yes sir yes mam…extra open close doors for people. Pick up after yourself and sometimes others. Like if you see trash on the ground pick it up don’t be like everyone else and walk by it. And most importantly mean everything you do! As long as you mean it you’re not wrong.”

Hiphop_Seussary


34. Being able to tell the difference between right and wrong, and doing the right thing even when it feels wrong.

“Being able to tell the difference between right and wrong, and doing the right thing even when it feels wrong. Knowing that you don’t know everything, but being okay with the knowledge you do have. Being able to stand on your own, but not being afraid to admit when you need help. That’s what makes a man.”

thesunscreen


35. A man provides. And he does it even when he’s not appreciated, or respected, or even loved.

“A man provides. And he does it even when he’s not appreciated, or respected, or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he is a man.”

Superfluous__Sirrah


36. Paying the bills. Putting food on the table. Putting clothes on everyone’s back.

“Manhood will be different things for different men. For me: Paying the bills. Putting food on the table. Putting clothes on everyone’s back. Protecting the integrity of your nuclear family unit and then extended family to the best of your ability. Being stern but never using violence. Being a role model and having a direction for the family. Not relying on substances when things get tough. Providing a stability upon which the family can rely.”

born_again_tim


37. To me, being a man is being the best you can be day in and day out to better those around you, regardless of what may be happening inside.

“To me, being a man is being the best you can be day in and day out to better those around you, regardless of what may be happening inside. All the while shouldering the responsibilities of your life, but also protecting and taking care of your loved ones until you’re mentally and physically unable. Being a man means that you are the guardian, the provider, the immovable object, but that you are also the arms to crawl into when needed and the shoulder to cry on, the hand to hold, the ear to give, the safe haven and the lifter of worries. Being a man means to show restraint when exercising your great power, and to be humble in everything you do.”

jrich960608


38. Inwardly, it’s just being the best and most useful person you can be to all others.

“Using what physical advantage you have to help those who need you, while sharing the experience with younger males so that they become strong.

You’re basically the ape of the species and you’re needed in that regard. If you need help, there’re others. But you know you’re finite, so every scrap you fought is a learning experience for any younger one.

Restraint!

You’re basically the ape of the species and you’re needed in that regard. You’re also capable of (excuse me for this) ‘chimping out’ and inflicting a lot of damage to other guys, women and kids. You need to know that community matters and peace is the best way. If course there are exceptions to restraining, but that’s a given.

It’s a new thing to think of privilege, but I get it now. It’s a man’s duty to be humble and recognize the work of others.

The strong may rule the conversation but there’s more to reality than people’s fallible perceptions.

True strength (this goes beyond being a man, but is part of it) affords comfort in that strength. Do not push others to the margins because of your stranglehold on whatever you have. But you can shut down imposters pretty easily. It’s never a neutered “cucked” type of thing, it’s just what’s best overall.

That’s the outward stuff

Inwardly, it’s just being the best and most useful person you can be to all others. You’re supposed to know everything and be the one to turn to. You have to think ahead and anticipate the problems and solutions in the future. You have to be ready for prosperity and the plan there and the worst and find the way out.

It is trying and the only thing that gets me through it all is a good woman. She’s so great.

I’d be hard-pressed to feel so whole without a person that sees the world the way I do not. There’s overlap, but there seems to be a complimentary synergy that I can’t explain because it’s a postiori and just works.

What it is to be a man… it’s so hard to say what to do. It’s easier to think about it like this: what can you do? Do that!”

LetsJerkCircular


39. Protecting, providing, and procreating.

“Protecting, providing, and procreating. That’s a theologically conservative Christian view of things.

Protecting: Take care of those who can’t protect themselves. Protect your family and stand up for the helpless, the marginalized and the defenseless. People suffering from hate crimes? Try to let your community know this is unacceptable and report it. Women being harassed around you? Say something. Do something if necessary. Someone breaking into your house and threatening your family? Use as little force as possible, but as much as necessary.

Providing: Take care of those who can’t provide for themselves. Feed your family. Feed the poor. Advocate for the homeless and those who lack food security. Make sure no one in your circle is in need.

Procreating: This does not mean “make all the babies!” This means that you should raise children with these values, and raise them well so they are not a burden on society or on those around them.”

BaptizedNRG


40. Settle down, suck up all the bullshit mistakes you’ve made before, and accomplish what you want.

“Don’t be afraid to let out your emotions. We all fucking cry, we all feel. If you have a SO, tell them how you feel about things. Let them know what’s going on in your head.

Take responsibility. It’s your fault that you fucked up, your fault you stayed up too late, chose the cheeseburger instead of the wrap, etc.

No one is going to make your life easy. Settle down, suck up all the bullshit mistakes you’ve made before, and accomplish what you want.”

SilphScarf  TC mark

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