43 Married People Confess Why They Stopped Having Sex With Their Spouse

22. His low testosterone has slowly taken away his sex drive.

“Low testosterone. It’s slowly taken away his sex drive and has altered him a lot physically and mentally. Our sex life ground to a halt a couple years ago, not long after we got married. However, we’re still happy together and in love and I’m supporting him through it. The desire for a baby seems to be giving him some of his spark back so I think we’re on the up :)”


23. She never initiated and I’m tired of being the only one with a sex drive.

“We’ve been together over three years now. And we stopped just ’cause she never initiated and I’m tired of being the only one with a sex drive. I just feel like my sexual needs are a tiresome burden to her so I don’t even try to anymore.

It doesn’t help the few times we have had sex I have to do all the work. I just don’t feel loved or satisfied if my partner is basically waiting for me to finish.”


24. My husband is not very good at sex and shows no interest in improving.

“The truth: my husband is not very good at sex and shows no interest in improving in a way that will be enjoyable for both of us.

We had very different experience levels when we got together. I’d only had two partners, but one of the relationships was very long-term. He’d had twice that number, but all of the relationships were very short-term. So I knew what I enjoyed. He, it seemed, did not.

No problem. I could teach. I thought it would be OK for him to learn what he liked and what I liked and we’d mesh.

The sad truth? He doesn’t seem to like any of the things I like. Or maybe he doesn’t like sex. Or maybe he doesn’t like sex with me. Hell, I don’t know. And I don’t care anymore.

Because he won’t do the basic stuff. I’m not talking about reciprocal oral sex (though there is that; I love giving and receiving, but guess which is the only one to happen?). I’m talking we’ve been married over five years and he can’t find my clit reliably. As far as I can tell, the only purpose of foreplay, to him, is to arouse himself. If I get going too, great, otherwise oh well. I’m pretty sure I could be a pair of disembodied tits (his fetish thing) and he’d be perfectly happy.

Needless to say, nothing even mildly kinky happens. There has been one thing I introduced that he did more than once, and he took it to such an extreme it was no longer enjoyable for me. Everything else—and this is only mildly naughty Frederick’s of Hollywood stuff—we’d do once, and then never again.

And in spite of all of this, I am the one expected to initiate. By which I mean, when I finally couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore, sex stopped. Completely. We have had sex twice in more than a year, and even before that it was once every few months when I broke down and got something going in hopes that maybe a long break would make him at least pretend to care like he did early in our relationship….

You need two people to talk something out, and he will. not. talk. I mean, when I broach the subject of sex, zero words come out of his mouth.

Outside of the bedroom, he’s not a shitty husband. Not great, but not terrible. Still, the specter of having incredibly short, incredibly bad sex a couple of times a year for the rest of my life is depressing as fuck, and once the kids are grown, I am out of here.”



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