41. He’s made it pretty clear that he’s more interested in anal than anything else, while I’ve rarely found pleasure in.
“He’s made it pretty clear that he’s more interested in anal than anything else, while I’ve rarely found pleasure in it (only thought it was ok when very drunk). He’s said things to me like ‘I’ve never dated anybody who didn’t like it, most girls I know like it, you’re so lame, you’ve liked it before (referring to when I was drunk)’ to try and manipulate me into it I guess. I tried to be open minded, I tried to like it, but I just can’t. It makes regular sex really annoying because he only seems interested in positions that give him a view of my butt. So I’ve grown resentful, I don’t find sex with him fun, and I learned that I could get him to help with chores if I offered anal (which I know is not a healthy thing to do in a relationship, but shit’s gotta get done and I’m only one person).
So there’s that, on top of some issues I have with his behavior outside of sex which have made me slowly lose respect for him. He doesn’t help much with chores, at 31 he is only now learning how to pay bills and use a bank (I had been doing it for the past 10 years, all the while asking him to get more involved, until recently when I found myself very depressed and he had to try and figure it out), he’s too insecure to have honest conversations about our relationship or problems we have, he refused to go to couple’s therapy, he’s often patronizing, brags a lot, and interrupts me (and others) when in conversation.
All that said, he’s not a terrible person. I feel bad painting a picture of some monster. He has great qualities too; he’s very smart, friendly, attractive, and loyal. But the negatives are starting to outweigh the positives when it comes to my attraction to him.”
42. He is very cold to me.
“Hello people. Long story short, my husband does not engage or touch me anymore. We have been together for 11 years and married for nine.
He is aware this is a big problem but refuses to do anything about it. For example, last week he had an interview and did really well (so he thought) so I came home early from work, freshened up, put in the black lacy nightie he bought for me a few weeks ago and waited for him…when he got home he said that he was all dressed up and would rather go to dinner. He could not be bothered with getting redress if we has sex.
I have not been touched in many months. He is very cold to me. I have been a loving and faithful wife and have a feeling that now things are going well for me career wise he is actively trying to sabotage our relationship by trying to manipulate me in order to mitigate the control he has lost over me since I have my own money and sources of income now.
I was an ARMY wife, student, and stay at home mother for a time while he was deployed and injured. Now that he is out (med retirement) I feel like we are now useless to him since he does not need the loving wife and child image anymore to forward his career. I feel like we are a throw away family that he does not need anymore.
He refuses to talk about this, get counseling, or attempt to help us in anyway. I am falling out of love with him day by day and all he can seem to do is ignore me, and our daughter.
He does not kiss me, he does not touch me, he does not ask me how I am doing, he certainly does not have sex with me anymore. It is like I am living with a roommate and I absolutely hate it. We had our beautiful days too, but no more.”
43. My wife lost her sex drive because of depression.
“My wife lost her sex drive because of depression. Even when she was happy again it didn’t come back. Whenever she was in the mood, it would go away before we’d even start. 5 times in the past year and a half. She just left me so I could find someone better…”