33. It just feels creepy to be crawling on top and doing my business on a bored, uninterested woman.
“I have a very weird situation.
My wife fawns on me and waits on me hand and foot. If I wanted to, she’d let me play video games all night while she did laundry, dishes, cleaned the house…etc….and she’s never complained about it. If I’m playing a game and I’m like, Hey can you bring me a sandwich and something to drink, then poof, she runs off and does it. She doesn’t nag, she never raises her voice.
Even weirder, if I see something that needs to be done like sweeping up some dog hair, she gets mad at me if she catches me doing housework, ‘What? You don’t think I can do my job?’ ‘No honey, you do a great job, the house looks fantastic, I just noticed some dog hair under the couch and wanted to help you out.’ ‘Well don’t. I’ve got it. Just tell me if you see something.’
She’s a stay-at-home wife since I earn just enough money for the both of us and our three kids to live comfortably. I’ve never asked her to, or expected her to work. She can if she wants, but it’s her choice.
THEN we get in bed. ‘Sooo honey, wanna make out?’
‘I’m tired and I have a headache. I’ll just lay here and you can do what you want.’ OR ‘I promise I’ll get sexy this weekend and we’ll have fun.’
The first thing is not something that I want. It just feels creepy to be crawling on top and doing my business on a bored, uninterested woman. The second thing where she promises to get sexy on the weekend never happens at all.
At least three times in the past ten years, I’ve broken down and told her it’s over. I’m done. I want a divorce. Then she breaks down into a heap on the floor. Begs and cries. Says I’m the only thing in her life and that she loves me.
If I persist, she stops eating and drinking. Essentially goes on a hunger strike.
The last time this happened, she even threatened to kill herself. So I give in, and I take her back every time.
For about a month or two afterwards, the sex will be great and exactly what I want. Then it slowly goes back to ‘tired and headache’ land for another year or more before I lose my patience again.
We’re in our 17th year of marriage. The sex was great for about three (?) of them.”
34. Layers of issues from health to addiction.
“I’m planning my getaway. It’s going to take a year or two but I refuse to live without sex for the rest of my life….I’m waiting because children are involved and my financial situation needs to be better.
Layers of issues from health to addiction. He had problems with addiction years ago before we met and his old demons have returned. So I’ve also lost companionship. There is zero desire to go anywhere or do anything. I talked about going to see the opening of Beauty and the Beast for weeks. When the time came, he was well on his way to becoming incoherent. Foaming at the mouth and nodding off. He will drop his phone and pretend it just slipped out of his hand, then drop it again. I’ll admit I over drink, I own it. He will use this if I try to address his multiple addictions. I’ve come to see that we are both enabling each other. I don’t think he is capable of rehabilitation. Or at least, not with me.
I can’t live like this much longer. I feel like I’m being dragged down. No sex is just another problem.
I’m not out of love but I’m not in love anymore. I’m loving and supportive in every way. Still talk dirty etc., but honestly, his sex drive was never very high anyway. It has been an issue for me over the years, having a lot more desire and feeling I’m always the one initiating. Now, he just can’t even get it up when we try.”