33 Women Confess What They Worry About Before Having Sex With A Man For The First Time

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Found on AskReddit.

1. I worry that they’ll see my butthole.

“In all honesty, I worry that they’ll see my butthole.”

tacobellfordinner


2. Being killed while in the act.

“Being killed while in the act.”

ericdevice


3. I hope they don’t mind my completely unkempt bush.

“Man, I hope they don’t mind my completely unkempt bush.”

hoeraufist


4. I fear that fecal matter will enter my vag.

“The fear that he will enter the wrong hole, and then enter the right one, thus putting fecal matter into my vag.”

BlizzardWizard01


5. The fear that once I get naked there will be a noticeable look of disappointment.

“The fear that once I get naked there will be a noticeable look of disappointment in my partner.”

wakka-wakka-wakka


6. That I’ll end up really liking them, and then they never call me again.

“That I’ll end up really liking them, and then they never call me again. If they ghost me before sex I don’t care, but after sex it’s a huge blow to the ego.”

livercookies


7. I have this irrational fear of being taped on a hidden camera.

“I have this irrational fear of being taped on a hidden camera.”

aylandgirl


8. That he’ll finally see the acne scars on my chest.

“I have really bad skin. Its slowly clearing up with medication but there are scars and showing a guy who’s been leering at your chest for ages that it has acne scars over it is fucking terrifying.”

Incantanto


9. Don’t fart.

“Don’t fart. Don’t fart. Don’t fart. Please don’t.”

-Redhead-


10. Please be free of STDs.

“‘Please be free of STDs.’”

Munstun


11. If my period decides to suddenly show up.

“If I randomly came on my period. My periods are fucked up and come whenever they want.”

chloecorey


12. That there’ll be something about my naked body that they’ll find unappealing.

“That there’ll be something about my naked body that they’ll find unappealing and they’ll bail or be grossed out the whole time.”

10_KG_VALUE_PACK


13. The first time my asshole ex bf saw me naked he said ‘your pussy is weird.’

“The first time my asshole ex bf saw me naked he said ‘your pussy is weird.’ I now know that it’s totally not and that he’s just an idiot with no filter, but now I have a fear of new partners seeing my bits for the first time. The same idiot was lazy and always said it took too long to get me off, so with new partners I’m always insecure and worried that he’s getting tired or frustrated with how long I’m taking. Sometimes all it takes is one moron to fuck up your sexual confidence.”

darthliki


14. That he’ll find my boobs to be too saggy.

“That he will judge my appearance.

I’ve lost a lot of weight so my skin is not the tightest everywhere. It could certainly be worse, because I exercise fairly regularly but still. I’d need some ‘work’ done to really feel good with myself. Especially on my boobs. I have big ones, even after losing so much weight. They’re a bit saggy now and that’s really horrible for me….So I’ll definitely will have a boob job at some point.

I did not fear that kind of thing before, always assuming that if a man was going to have sex with me, it wouldn’t matter to them that my body wasn’t perfect…

But last year, I was with a group of friends and we were talking and drinking… and at some point we started talking about sex and our past experiences.

One of the guys was half laughing and told us he was fooling around with a woman but when they started getting undressed he noticed that she had saggy breasts and stretch marks and that it was a complete turnoff for him and he just pretended to be sick so he could get away and not have sex with her.

He thought it was hilarious. The other men were more or less laughing (some looked a bit uneasy). He never noticed that all the women in the room got silent and looked horrified at that point.

Yes, our worst fear and nightmare there were getting real…men actually DO judge our physical flaws while having sex with us. Most of them are just too polite to mention them.”

Podiumqueen


15. That I’ll forget to fake pleasure when a guy plays with my breasts.

“That I’ll forget to fake pleasure when a guy plays with my breasts—I was double-barrel kicked in the chest by a horse when I was 15 and ever since I’ve felt next to nothing. With my current guy everything else is fantastic but I’m genuinely afraid to tell him because it’s been more than 6 months, and he’s a boob guy…”

BuckeyeFoodie


16. That he’ll see the scars on my hip from cutting myself.

“I have a bunch of scars on my left hip from cutting myself. It was a long time ago but they’re still quite obvious, so I usually have sex in dim light. Only one guy has commented on them, but he immediately called me selfish and heavily implied that it made me a bad person, so…I dunno.

With the guy I’m kinda currently seeing, we’ve only had sex in the dark so I don’t know how he’ll react. He reacted kinda odd when I told him I take antidepressants so I’m not too optimistic.”

volbeetle


17. I have massive queefs and farts.

“I am fucking skinny girl but have massive queefs and farts which I secretly like but am embarrassed about it. But love to be shamed for it kinda. Thank god my current boyfriend is submissive sexually with a slender average penis. At least for this.”

antipoppingcrusade92


18. I worry about my stretch marks and scars and birthmarks.

“Body image issues. I worry about my stretch marks and scars and birthmarks. I also used to worry about if they think my thighs are fat. My husband cured the thigh thing for me when we were dating. I was wearing shorts and asked him if he thought they were fat and he told me ‘I don’t think so, but wrap them around my head so I can get a closer look, just to make sure.’”

lowbatterybaymax


19. My taint is deformed and not pleasant to look at.

“I have Crohn’s disease from my mouth to my rectum. It’s not contagious but most people don’t know that so I usually have to warn partners that between my booty cheeks to my taint is deformed and not pleasant to look at. (Not to mention I’m really self-conscious about it.) Also had a guy try surprise anal and not only did it piss me off (I had been very clear that was a no go), it caused a tear that because of the meds for my Crohn’s took more than a month to heal.”

assissues


20. I have vaginismus.

“I’ve only had full-on sex with two guys. First was my ex and the second was a one-night stand. My biggest fear is the fact that I can’t physically have sex. I have this condition that basically closes up my vagina walls when a dick tries to penetrate me. I discovered this with my ex as we were both virgins, and even though the fact that I couldn’t have sex bothered me sometimes, it led to a lot of fun discoveries with him (we found lots of alternative ways to get off hehe). I don’t feel comfortable showing these alternatives to new partners and it’s really embarrassing to have to explain my condition. During my one-night stand, the guy kept trying to force himself in me even when I was telling him to stop because it was hurting. I’ve fooled around with several guys afterwards but would never attempt ‘sex’ again because of how embarrassed I am of my situation and how I’m scared they might not find my alternatives fun. Great, this makes me miss sex with my ex. Although we couldn’t have ‘sex,’ our sex life nonetheless was amazing.”

vaginaprobs_


21. Literally everything about this scares the daylights outta me.

“Everything.

In other news, I’m been in a relationship for almost six months and I’m still a virgin because genuinely everything about it scares me

The fact that I have literally no experience??? Scares me. The possibility that a condom could break and I could get pregnant????? Terrifies me. The possibility that since I have no idea what I’m doing that I could be one of the starfish girls people complain about??? Scares me.

Literally everything about this scares the daylights outta me.”

woahrebecca


22. My biggest fear is how they will react to my scars.

“My biggest fear is how they will react to my scars.

I self-harmed for 11 years, and my scars are mostly grouped to my thighs. I’m always terrified until I explain it a million ways, then the pants come off and they see them. Even if the room is dark, they are keloid scars, easily felt.

I actually had a guy slip my jeans off and run his hands over my thighs, only to recoil and ask what the fuck was up with my leg. But on the other hand, most guys seek out my legs, knowing how big a deal they are to me, and they admire them, or kiss them, or trace the lines.

My ex told me that he didn’t want to fuck with the lights on, or after swimming in cold water, because they were gross to him. But my best friend of 13 years, boyfriend for 5 of those years, asks about how they are healing now, years after we’ve broken up, and always reminds me that a good man will see them as proof I am worth loving, ‘because I fought so hard to be here to meet him.’

My boyfriend now doesn’t even notice them anymore. I feel safe and happy. And I hope I never have to go through the scars talk with anyone else ever.”

FluorescentShadow


23. I have a fear that my vulva is ‘weird’ because my lips hang down a little.

“I worry about being judged. I hate being naked because I was the token ‘fat’ kid in middle school and even though I have slimmed down I still have that mentality after being made fun of all those years. I also have a fear that my vulva is ‘weird’ because my lips hang down a little. I’m just so self-conscious because most guys watch porn and expect you to look JUST like that.”

savingrose


24. Herpes. Not theirs, mine.

“Herpes. Not theirs, mine. I was raped when I was 19 by a friend and he gave me the herp as a lasting reminder. I still don’t know how to handle it with style and/or humor.

Also I always think deep down that guys are just ‘settling’ for me and secretly think they could do better and I’m never really that into it because of feeling self-conscious.

Also to those guys worrying about size I hear you but please don’t worry too much. By far and away the guy I had the most exciting sex with had a small one, but we had a lot of chemistry and it didn’t matter. Besides big ones are fun to fuck, small ones are fun to suck so there’s always some reason why yours is completely awesome.”

renegade_donut


25. I’m at my most vulnerable and the dude could just straight up kill me if he wanted to.

“That I’m at my most vulnerable and the dude could just straight up kill me if he wanted to.”

astamar


26. I have a long history of vaginismus and extremely negative, painful, distressing sex experiences.

“A tie between worrying about fear of pain and pain management (I have a long history of vaginismus and extremely negative, painful, distressing sex experiences), and the fear that the guy won’t think I like him because I am not very interested in sex or his body.”

Phytomancer


27. I have a large mole on my pubic area.

“I have a large mole (not raised on the skin but about the size of your pinky nail) on my pubic area. I’m always afraid they’ll think it’s a herpe sore or something. You can’t really see it if my hair is long but I don’t always like it long so I shave and….You see my conundrum.”

nurSINGgirl22


28. My vagina still tears sometimes.

“I had a guy with a thick dick and didn’t know his own size. One bad thrust and years later, my vagina still tears sometimes. It makes certain positions impossible because I’m terrified I’ll rip. When I gave birth, I tore, which is normal. Got stitches and waited 5ish weeks thinking maybe my shit was more secure. Lol nope. Sigh.”

thatonegirl127


29. The fear that if I ask them to stop because it hurts they won’t.

“The fear that if I ask them to stop because it hurts they won’t. I’ve had this happen twice and it’s terrible.”

No_Day_But_Today93


30. There’s always the lingering fear that I’ll choke too much and throw up on his peen.

“It hasn’t happened yet but there’s always the lingering fear that I’ll choke too much and throw up on his peen.”

AquaaWaffle


31. I’m terrified to be called loose down there.

“Ever since I had a kid, I have a secret fear men can tell via my vaginal elasticity. I’m terrified to be called loose down there because of it even though I don’t sleep around. Partially don’t sleep around to not make matters worse lol.”

windsorwise


32. Him finding me stinky down there.

“A few things actually: – him finding me stinky down there – I don’t know if my pubes are to his preference – that he’d find it weird that one boob is a cup bigger than the other – that my vagina would feel loose.”

kabudelz07


33. Worrying about what his penis will look like.

“What’s his penis gonna look like? Short, long, curved, straight, mushroom head, lighter or darker then his complexion, veiny, big balls, small balls, is it gonna smell?”


bestbet21 TC mark

Read this: 33 Men Confess What They Worry About Before Having Sex With A Woman For The First Time

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