1. You spend nine months getting out and the rest of your life trying to get back in.
“You spend nine months getting out and the rest of your life trying to get back in.”
2. Fuck ’em.
“I keep getting asked this, and my answer is always the same: Fuck ’em.”
3. Nobody would be here without them.
“Nobody would be here without them.”
4. They are a proof of a higher existence.
“They are a proof of a higher existence.”
5. I suppose they’re better than having to lay eggs.
“I’ll never have one. But they look nice enough in pictures, and I suppose they’re better than having to lay eggs.”
6. Anyone who has one is a vagilionaire.
“Anyone who has one is a vagilionaire.”
7. It’s vagtastic!
8. They’re a lot like pizza.
“They’re a lot like pizza. The worst I ever had was still pretty good.”
9. I am pro-vagina.
“I am pro-vagina.”
10. As a gynecologist I’ve developed tunnel vision.
“As a gynecologist I’ve developed tunnel vision.”
11. They feel nice when putting your penis in one.
“They feel nice when putting your penis in one.”
12. They’re like cute puppies.
“You know when you see a really cute puppy and you wanna be aggressive with it because you’re so excited, but you know you shouldn’t? That’s how I feel when I see a vagina.”
13. I haven’t met one I didn’t like.
“They all look different, some a little neater, others a bit angry. I can safely say, though, I haven’t met one I didn’t like.”
14. All in all, I would recommend it to a friend.
“They’re weird. All genitals are weird, don’t kid yourself. Vaginas are nice, though. Self-cleaning, I could push a kid out if I wanted. Lot of flaps, though. All in all, I would recommend it to a friend.”
15. They feel nice. Sometimes they even manage to smell nice.
“They feel nice. Sometimes they even manage to smell nice. I miss them.”
16. There are no bad vaginas, but there are bad women attached to them sometimes.
“I enjoy them…BUT they’re just like cars or homes, some women take better care of what they’ve got. There are no bad vaginas, but there are bad women attached to them sometimes.”
17. 9/10…11/10 with rice.
11/10 with rice.”
18. They look terrible but feel great.
“I was once taking care of a friend post-surgery. After a week of lousy days, he walked out to the kitchen one morning and sat down. I asked him how he was doing. He replied ‘Today…I am a vagina.’ I was confused, so he continued: ‘I look terrible but feel great.’”
19. Every one of them is deliciously beautiful.
“They all have their own individual look and taste, and every one of them is deliciously beautiful.”
20. One of my favorite forms of entertainment and time travel.
“A fucking hassle at least once a month, but otherwise one of my favorite forms of entertainment and time travel.”
21. They look like a weird flower made of skin.
“Slightly frightening in concept. From what I understand they bleed, ooze, swell, and essentially pressure cook anything put inside of them. Plus they look like a weird flower made of skin. I’ll stick to buttholes.”
22. They are way better than penises.
“They are way better than penises. Nobody likes floppy meat tubes. Source: I am a giant lesbian.”
23. Like a fingerprint, none are alike.
“Vaginas are awesome none are alike! Like a fingerprint. (Nurse) and I’ve seen a lot of vaginas.”
24. Keep ‘em groomed a bit or they look like Willie Nelson.
“Keep ‘em groomed a bit or they look like Willie Nelson.”
25. It’s a great place filled with joy and wonder.
“A hoo-hoo, you say? It’s a great place filled with joy and wonder. Like I wonder what it’ll do today. Period at work while wearing white pants? Joy. But seriously, it’s all right. I’ve been told it’s a good place to put a dick in, under the right circumstances.”
26. I’ve heard through the grapevine that they’re a good place to store Jolly Ranchers!
“I’ve heard through the grapevine that they’re a good place to store Jolly Ranchers!”
27. It looks like a sad old man.
“It looks like a sad old man.”
28. They’re the only thing I can think of that’s pleasant to all five senses, except perhaps Jell-O.
“They’re the only thing I can think of that’s pleasant to all five senses. Except perhaps Jell-O, but that’s very different.”
29. They look like Arby’s roast beef sandwiches.
“They look like Arby’s roast beef sandwiches.”
30. Borrowing one to use for a while is nice.
“I would not like to own one, but borrowing one to use for a while is nice.”
31. They are the most powerful things in the world.
“They are the most powerful things in the world. Kings have fallen over them, presidents have been impeached, politicians have ruined careers they worked 30-40 years to achieve, tons and tons of people have been murdered or murdered people over them, Wars have been fought over them, Men literally go to college to try and get good jobs to be able to get houses cars etc just to get it or more of it, Some spend thousands of $ soliciting it and sometimes get arrested and go to jail paying for it. There are countless other examples of what vaginas cause. So yea it’s a very very powerful appendage.”