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1. I scream at the sight of bugs.

“My girlfriend handles the bugs in the house. I simply scream.”

—Pink_Goy

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2. I love being the little spoon.

“I love being the little spoon.”

—HighDingyDoo

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3. If I wanna bake a heart-shaped brownie, I motherfucking will.

“If I wanna bake a heart-shaped brownie, I motherfucking will.”

—Arrow1250

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4. I like cuddles.

“I like cuddles.”

—poopellar

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5. As I type this my face is encased by a delightful collagen mask.

“As I type this my face is encased by a delightful collagen mask.”

—alex3tx

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6. I fucking love smelling candles.

“I fucking love smelling candles.”

—01111110

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7. I use those little EOS chapstick spheres.

“You know those little EOS chapstick spheres that are marketed towards women? I require them.”

—Phalanges410

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