44 Of The Craziest Random (But True) Hookup Stories You’ve Ever Heard

Thought.is
Thought.is
Found on AskReddit.

1. She sneezed, I said ‘bless you,’ we banged.

“I was looking for some friends at a house party and was waiting to leave the basement and head home. A girl sneezed as she walked by and I casually said ‘bless you’ and started to leave. She asked where I was going, I told her my house seeing as I lost my friends, she said she was coming with. Sex followed.”

Imawildedible


2. ‘I will murder your cat if you don’t fuck me right now.’

“Some girl walked up to me at a party and said ‘I will murder your cat if you don’t fuck me right now.’

I had to save my cat.”

alinabi27


3. She slept with me just to steal my Batman hoodie.

“Went to a party wearing my old Batman hoodie. Some girl really liked Batman. Had sex and when I woke up, my hoodie was gone.”

Treyhova


4. She asked me to help her de-bone a chicken; next thing I knew, she was naked.

“My neighbor once asked me to help her de-bone a whole chicken when I walked in there was no chicken, so I walked into her room to ask where it was and she was naked.

Reverse naked man-ed worked on me.”

Carameldelightning


5. They said they’d give me a cigarette in exchange for sex.

“Asked them for a cigarette, they jokingly said ‘yes, in exchange for sex.’ At least I thought it was jokingly.”

chopkin92


6. She asked me if I wanted to play something besides the guitar.

“Was playing guitar in a party, random girl asked if my fingers are sore—I said no, and she asked if I wanted to play something else…damn, that was awesome.”

Kurazaibo


7. She gave me the wrong number, so I hooked up with the girl from the wrong number.

“This happened to me a long time ago…I met a girl at a bar and after some chatting we hit it off (I thought so) I got her phone number and promised to call.

A week goes by and I call the number she had given me…SHE GAVE ME THE WRONG NUMBER.

I ended up talking with the girl whose number I called, made a blind date with her, and met her about a week later.

The date went really well and she ended up at my place, we had sex for hours.

Told me after that the girl from the bar should have given me her real number because the sex was outstanding!”

Ctimmerman


8. I got an A; she got the D.

“This girl who ran track at my university one day sat next to me in class and told me to come through her place that night to study for tomorrow’s test. She was too beautiful and I didn’t really talk to her other than quick quips before class here and there. I went over to study, and ended up getting the A she got the D. Also got a B on my test, and she got an A but those are minor details.”

b1p0l4r8e4r


9. I was at a bar and a girl came up to me and said ‘I refuse to leave until I get a dick in my mouth.’

“I was at a bar and a girl came up to me and said ‘I refuse to leave until I get a dick in my mouth.’ I happily obliged and we had sex in the stairwell of a parking structure. I don’t think I’ll ever have someone just come up to me and ask for sex again.

Still have no idea what her name is either.”

dbatchison


10. Two girls who walked by and said, ‘Nice dick!’ while I was peeing.

“My random encounter was at the Craven Country Jamboree. For anyone who doesn’t know what that is, it’s a Country music festival. Thousands of people go to drink and have a good time. (Lots of sex, gotta be careful)

My favorite story was, I just woke up at about 6 AM still hammered from the night before. I had to piss like a son of a…took about 3 steps out of our campsite butt naked and two girls who walked by said, “Nice dick!” I gave them quick helicopter move and carried on with my business. Later at about noon those two girls came back and we talked for a while. Ended up having a drunken threesome in my camper. Craven makes the bitches wild.”

SourTittyMilk


11. I had a tent, but she had an RV.

“I went to a motocross event called RedBud with a couple buddies from school. It lasts the weekend and everyone camps out right on site.

I woke up in the middle of the second night and stumbled to go pee at the bank of Port-A-Potties. After finishing up I flung the door open, which hit something and ricocheted back thwap-ing me in the forehead.

I exit rubbing my forehead and see a girl crouched down doing the same. We checked to make sure each other were alright, after which I apologized. She shrugged it off and said it was a sign she should’ve gone to bed already.

To which I meekly added, ‘My tent’s pretty close.’

She lets out a hearty, ‘pffffftttt’ as she turned away. Just as I was about to do the same she turns and adds matter-of-factly, ‘I have an RV.’ waves me over

All_the_rage


12. Met a girl at my uncle’s wake, got drunk, had sex.

“My uncle died. I got my haircut the day before the funeral. The girl who cut my hair was at the funeral. Turns out she knew my uncle. We were sad. We got drunk at the wake. We had sex.

My mum rolled her eyes when I strolled in hungover in yesterday’s funeral clothes the next morning.”

Professor-Woland


13. Took LSD and by the end of the trip, I was in a relationship.

“Took LSD in college one night, by the end of the trip I was in a relationship (with someone I hadn’t met beforehand).”

DelfonicSonic


14. Could she maybe, like, borrow my spare room for a night or two?

“I was living in a motel in a logging town with my colleague, and he left town for a week so I had an empty room. A friend called me and said her friend just got fired from a bush camp and was totally broke and could she borrow my spare room for a night or two, I said sure and she just showed up at my door. I was like hey, here’s your room, you have your own bed but you’re welcome to share mine too. Bam.”

madeamashup


15. She asked me to help her carry a mattress up four flights of stairs.

“My neighbor in a building I used to live in knocked on my door one afternoon and asked me to help her carry in a queen-sized mattress, up 4 flights of tiny tight stairs.

Standing in my doorway, I first asked her why she didn’t get the delivery guys to do it and she said they were going to charge her $50 so she got frustrated thinking she was being scammed so told them to just leave it there; and now after trying by herself she realized that she can’t do it alone.

She was cute and seemed distraught, so being the mortal man I am, I obliged.

This turned out to be quite an intimate experience as we figured out midway that she was too weak to really do anything, so lots of squeezing around each other, swapping spots, pushing by while her holding the door etc. etc.

Finally we get it up and after we’re both pretty sweaty and breathing heavily. I had taken my shirt off(undershirt still) and since she had come from the gym she was in workout shorts after stripping her jeans off on the stairs.

She tells me to come in, we lift the mattress onto the bed and she tells me to sit down near the window unit as she cranks it on, grabs two beers and sits down next to me. Half way through the beer we’re laughing and swapping stories about Ikea furniture when she rests her leg kind of behind mine, like the top of her foot and shin nestled up behind my calf/ankle. I look at her, maybe expecting her to verbally tell me what that meant and bam we started making out and did the deed right there on the new mattress, the plastic torn and bundled all around us.”

b8le


16. Turned out she wasn’t really interested in watching me solve a Rubik’s cube.

“Was at a New Year’s party, chatting with a beautiful girl (out of my league, so I didn’t give much thought to trying to make something happen with her), absentmindedly solving a Rubik’s cube. She noticed, commented on it, and I mentioned that I actually had a 5×5 one in my room that I could solve as well. She asks me to show her, so we go to my room.

Turned out she wasn’t really interested in watching me solve a Rubik’s cube.”

noonan1487


17. I was woken up a few hours later with her hands all over me and I finally got the hint.

“Had a girl roommate, just a friend and we had the same circle of friends.

I came home one Saturday afternoon and there is this smokin’ hot girl whom I had never seen before just chilling on my couch watching TV. We chatted for a good while and later that night she asked if she could crash, said sure.

I went to go scrounge up some blankets for her to crash on the couch as I didn’t think there was much flirting going on and didn’t catch much of a vibe from her and she says no, I’ll just sleep with you in your bed.

So, she strips down to underwear and hops into bed. There, in my bed is this adorable young woman in her underwear and in one of the most cringe worthy moments of my entire life I climb into bed fully clothed, jeans, socks, and all thinking I don’t want to weird this girl out or anything and proceed to fall asleep.

Thank god I was woken up a few hours later with her hands all over me and I finally got the hint.”

Kriegenstein


18. I ended up having sex with her thirty-six-year-old mom eight feet away from her sleeping daughter.

“I was 21 at a campground with a lot of seasonal members. I tried hooking up with this 18-year-old whose mom had a seasonal site with a motorhome. She went to bed and I ended up having sex with her thirty-six-year-old mom eight feet away from her sleeping daughter.”

Chino1130


19. She’s standing there with a laundry bag and no clothes.

Teaching an international housemate how to do laundry.

Back in my undergrad, I moved into a student house since it was close to campus and the rent was cheap. The owner usually rented out rooms in the place to international students but gave me a spot since we had a good relationship and he knew that I would keep it from being too much of a dumpster fire.

During the first week that I moved in, one of the gals knocked on my door and asked me to show her how to use the laundry machine. I figured that maybe she couldn’t read the button labels because everything was in English. It turns out that she just didn’t know how to do laundry at all. She was from some wealthy family in Hong Kong so she had previously had hired help do these things for her.

I told her to grab the clothes she needed washed and then meet me in the basement. So I’m downstairs in the basement/laundry area/rec room (the owner really did a nice job on remodeling the house) and I hear her coming down the stairs. I turn around about to explain how to separate colors/lights/whites & what temperature to set it at and she’s standing there with a laundry bag and no clothes.

She wanted my help with a bit more than laundry. Sometimes I fucking miss university.”

Ursine_Gelatkin


20. I asked one of the girls from the floor below me to shave my head with one of her lady razors.

“In the dorms, I asked one of the girls from the floor below me to shave my head with one of her lady razors & shaving cream (I used an electric on my face). When I got out the shower she was still in my room. She said it turned her on beyond belief. Guess who had a new barber that semester.”

Gonzostewie


21. I spun around to find this cute chick in a cowboy hat laughing.

“Was at the bars and left by myself to get a cab back home. Had to stop at the ATM to get some money out. All of the sudden there is a finger in my back and a girl’s voice saying ‘give me all your money.’ I spun around to find this cute chick in a cowboy hat laughing. I told her she scared the crap out of me. We laughed, I asked if she wanted to split the cab back to my place. We had a drink on my patio…bang!”

bayreawork


22. Around 6am when I got home I just crawled into my bed and she was there sleeping naked.

“Me and a friend were living together for a few months. One day he asked if I minded if his sister stays over for a while since she just got divorced and couldn’t stand staying with her ex until she found a place.

I didn’t mind at all, she helped with rent and cleaned up a bit, we all hug out occasionally when we were all there. I worked graveyard in a casino, around 6am when I got home I just crawled into my bed and she was there sleeping naked, she was trying to wait up for me but didn’t make it. I woke her up all right, 18 years later we are still married.”

Harbenger


23. Girl at a bar randomly came up to me, bought me a shot, and said ‘I heard you suck in bed.’

“Bigger girl at a bar randomly came up to me, bought me a shot, and said ‘I heard you suck in bed.’ After a few more shots of Jager I decided to prove her wrong and slept with her out of spite. She definitely played me but the hand prints on her ass are probably still there today.”

Nadocomedy


24. Weird Viking tent sex ensued.

“I was at a music festival and there was a group of guys in the camp next to ours…one of them wandered into our camp, and looked like a combination of Thor and a Viking. I told him so, and asked if his dick was as impressive.

Weird Viking tent sex ensued.

The sex was very weird, I repeatedly called him Viking, and when he tried to tell me his name afterwards I ordered him to shut up, to me he is only Viking.

And yes, his dick was impressive. It was indeed hammer time.”

Navi_SHUTTHEFUCKUP


25. Shower sex with a girl at the gym.

“At the gym working out one morning before work. Out of the maybe 10 people in there 8 were very old, me and a good-looking girl. I was already there when she got there. She took the treadmill next to me and just kept looking at me every out of the corner of her eye. When I got done with the treadmill I went where the weight machines where and she followed me. She wasn’t really lifting any weight, but kept looking at me, smiling now and then. This gym didn’t have locked rooms to shower in, it was like a bathroom with a shower. When it was time fit me to go shower I grabbed my bag and when I got to the door I turned and looked at her, smiled, made a you coming head motion and went in leaving the door slightly open. I waited for about a min and was about to accept that I had just made an ass of myself and shower when she opened the door and came in with her bag. Had sex and then she washed my entire body for me lol. She wasn’t there in the morning often, but every time she was she watched me workout and then followed me into the shower after for sex and for her to wash me. We didn’t talk much at all. Greatest relationship I ever had lol.”

axelbuddy042187


26. She answered my craigslist roommate ad.

“I put up a craigslist ad for a new roommate because one moved out very suddenly. A girl answered it and I showed her the apartment. I showed her the backyard and got caught checking out her ass. She then went to my room, I followed, and we fucked.”

AtTheFuneralParty


27. I literally ran into a chick and bulldozed her over drunkenly leaving a party in college.

“I literally ran into a chick and bulldozed her over drunkenly leaving a party in college. Knocked her out flat on her ass. I pulled her up apologizing and she said something like ‘Don’t worry, I like it rough.’ Swear to god.

She brought me back to her room where her roommate was fucking her boyfriend and proceeded to smash about 8 feet away from them. Good times.”

crayzconnor


28. Approximately 45 mins later I’m getting fellatio in our cabin.

“I was on a cruise. I was 17 with two of my friends. We were celebrating our graduation; the trip was paid for by one of my friends’ parents.

We’d bought alcohol at our port of call and somehow snuck it on the ship. Drank a SHIT TON of vodka and went out on the prowl.

It’s about 11:00 PM and this chubby somewhat cute in the face girl is standing completely by herself, dressed in a beautiful dress. I drunkenly murmured ‘Dare me to tell that girl her dress is beautiful’ to my friends. Have way through the sentence my drunk ass is floating over to her.

I say, ‘You look beautiful tonight…why are you all alone?’ (I swear I thought I was the black George Clooney). She beamed at me with excitement and approximately 45 mins later I’m getting fellatio in our cabin.”

Mensanominee


29. She said she needed a new Dom…I offered, she accepted and we fucked for hours!

“Walked out of a shop, there was curvy lady, very much my preferred type, petting my dogs…

We said hi, and were walking the same way…started chatting and I invited her to join us for a walk, she accepted…

We went around the park, she mentioned she lived nearby and wanted to drop off her bag…

Got in house, dogs settled down in her living room and she asked me if I wanted to look at some art she had upstairs…

Got into her bedroom, saw a body harness in the open wardrobe…I mentioned I like a bit of BDSM too…she said she needed a new Dom…I offered, she accepted and we fucked for hours!

Good times, 10/10, have done her many times since! ;)”

tekdj


30. When I open the door, she falls on her knees and gives me the blowjob against which I measure all others.

“Last day of college before winter break a girl on my dorm floor said she was going out to a party and when she came back, she’d look for me. I said whatever because I wasn’t into her at all (not my type physically or in personality). She was really into me which I didn’t understand because I’d never given her any signal I had any interest. She comes back from the party drunk, knocks on my dorm room door and when I open it, she proceeds to fall on knees and gives me the blowjob against which I measure all others I’ve received. 10/10 would let her blow me again.”

elliotsilvestri


31. Two hours later we’re up in my apartment and they’re both bent over my dining room table while I’m taking turns fucking them.

“Used to live over a bar on Court St. in Brooklyn. Looked out my window one day to see my hairdresser and a girlfriend of hers out on the patio. She looks up and waves, I went down and joined them. We proceed to get loaded and two hours later we’re up in my apartment and they’re both bent over my dining room table while I’m taking turns fucking them. 10/10 was fun.”

that_townie


32. Snapchat joke turns into gang bang.

“I went over to a friend’s house, took his phone and snapchatted a random girl on his phone asking her if she wanted to fuck as a joke. I did not expect to ever see or hear from this girl in my life. She showed up to my friend’s house one hour later and we banged followed by all my friends there banging her as well. What a night.”

Oswaldiandream


33. My ‘Fuck-me’ sweater worked.

“I was being loud in a bar next to my college campus with some of my friends and they were giving me shit for wearing a kind of preppie-looking sweater when I too loudly stated ‘What? This is my “Fuck-me” sweater, no girl can resist it!’ and almost immediately, a pretty blonde girl turns around and says, ‘Yeah, that’s a damn good looking sweater…’

I bought her a drink and we hooked up and then started dating for a few months. Definitely a good sweater…”

anon_e_mous9669


34. A girl I had never met hollered at me, ‘Hey, wanna go have sex?’

“I was leaving a party in college and a girl I had never met hollered at me, ‘Hey, wanna go have sex?’ And I did. And so we did.

GroverFC


35. She started sucking my dick within about three minutes.

“I live in a trailer park, and they were having some big meeting between the residents and some representative from an association that I can’t remember the name of. I was getting out of my car when a girl from the association pulled up behind me and a very pretty-dark skinned girl got out to ask me where she could park, I had no idea so I suggested she could park down in my driveway and that would be fine, albeit a long walk. she thanked me and then kinda paused for a few seconds looking at me, then said ‘My name’s Ashley by the way’ and I answered back with my name and started walking away telling her to have a good day—but luckily as she was getting back into her car it clicked in my head the way she was looking at me, and I turned around and asked her how long she needed to wait before the meeting and she said she was a half hour early, so I invited her in to wait. as soon as we got inside she was just standing very close to me and looking at me wide-eyed, so I went ahead and kissed her. she went straight for my pants and started sucking my dick within about 3 minutes of getting inside. I didn’t have any condoms so she told me to fuck her in the ass and that was my first time doing anal and it was amazing cause she had one of the best asses I’ve ever seen in my life. By the time we were done she was like 20 minutes late and rushed off. Looked out later and her car was gone.

Thing is, I’d probably call her back—but I have no idea of her last name and I’m only like 70% sure that Ashley was even her name, because I had been caught off guard and don’t really remember it too clearly. I’m in a relationship now but it would have been nice to run into her again.”

Definitely_Working


36. She dragged me down into the grass and we had sex right there.

“At a friend’s party talking to a girl I’ve never met before. She had to go home early and her parents we’re going to pick her up at a nearby school and she didn’t know the way. She asked me to come with and show her the way. Half way there she dragged me down into the grass and we had sex right there on a patch of grass in the middle of a neighborhood. She didn’t make the parent-thing up though since they called her on her phone like three times during the act.”

BBeanBBear


37. She came over and asked to borrow a tool.

“I was remodeling a home and one of the neighbors came over and asked to borrow a tool. I loaned her a pair of pliers and she returned them about 30 minutes later. She then asked if I could give her a tour of the home and show her all the work I had done.

I was totally clueless and I legitimately thought she just wanted a tour of the home. When we got to the master bathroom she walked in behind me and slammed the door shut. I was wearing loose fitting shorts and she had my cock in her mouth in less than 15 seconds. We ended up fucking right there in the bathroom.

It all happened so fast that I did not have time to think. I had a girlfriend at the time and cheating is not really my thing.

To this day it is my most bizarre unexpected sex story. There was no flirting or foreplay. My dick simply ended up in her mouth and I had no time to think.”

HerpesPhobic


38. Five minutes after meeting her we were at it in the toilet of the bar.

“On a bar when in the army. Talked to a beautiful Romanian girl for maybe 5 minutes. 5 minutes later we were at it in the toilet of the bar, dirty steaming sex. After we get to the bar I ask her for her name. She answered in bad English: ‘I thought you would never ask.’ Never saw her again.”

ConcreteWolf


39. When we were done, the windows were obviously fogged up pretty good.

“Was leaving a sandwich shop one evening as the bars were closing, enjoying my grilled delight and there were three girls hanging around a bench having a smoke over the conversation of prostitution I believe. I chatted them up a bit on the topic which devolved to how easy it is for girls to get laid when out at a bar. basically, I had said, that it doesn’t really matter who you are, what you look like, if you have a vagina, you are pretty much guaranteed a lay by the end of the night if you put in some simple effort, unlike a single average guy, it isn’t that easy. So this one girl says, the larger of the three, says ‘Well, I didn’t get laid tonight.’

So, with half eaten sandwich in one hand, I extended my other hand, thinking it was rather funny, and said ‘Well, let’s go then!’

She grabbed my hand and asked her friends to wait for her.

We walked to my car parked in a nearby, somewhat dark, lot and she giggled as we went hand-in-hand. ‘Are you serious?’ she asks. If you want to, baby. So, into the backseat of my week-old car and had our way together. She gave a pretty amazing blowjob.

When we were done, the windows were obviously fogged up pretty good, open the door to get out and there is a dude in a Jeep parked facing the side of my car. Just sitting there. In the shadows. In his Jeep. all good.”

eitheror_eitheror


40. Street racing turns into banging.

“I had just gotten off work for the night and was driving down a fairly busy street with one of my coworkers. We were waiting at a stop light and these two guys in a truck next to my car at a stop light. The driver revs his engine. When the light turns green, we both speed off in a race only to be stopped by the next red light. The driver leans out of his window and asks what we’re doing that night. I told him whatever he’s doing. He said to follow him back to his house for a kick back. Yeah, I banged him.”

KateMt


41. Randomly hooked up with same girl on separate occasions in Curacao and Thailand.

“Was island-hopping in the Caribbean a few years back. hooked up with a Dutch girl in Willemstad, Curacao. We had a fun couple of days and then we went our separate ways and I would never see her again. Didn’t stay in touch.

Then fast forward a couple of years. I’m travelling through s/e Asia and I bump into her randomly in a hostel in Krabi, Thailand, and fate decided it was time to saddle up for round two.

Good times.”

Knekkehexxan


42. Wound up banging door-to-door saleslady.

“I was at home in my underwear when I heard a knock at the door. Door to door salespeople are the worst, so I didn’t mind being rude and telling them to go away without putting on pants. To my surprise this happened to be an attractive female who worked for a different cable provider than the one I already had. She went through her spiel and asked to come in and show me some paperwork. I made some stupid comment about normally wearing pants when inviting strangers into my house, and she laughed. She was very professional as I sat there with no pants and no shirt. In fact, she actually had pictures of herself on her phone in her underwear. I asked to see them as it’s only fair that I see her the way she sees me. She obliged, and scrolled too far revealing some topless pics she had. After that there was an awkward silence. Somehow we got on the topic of weed and she said she could really use some. I let her smoke up as we signed the rest of the paperwork. The paperwork had my number on it, so after she left I got a call. ‘What are you doing tonight?’ She asked to come over and make me dinner. Of course, I said yes. So she came over and made me chicken alfredo, we smoked some more weed, I gave her a kiss, and we eventually went upstairs.”

welcometothejl


43. Charity for the poor led to sex.

“While I was in Thailand I felt pretty guilty as I saw a lot of impoverished people and I legit saw someone crawling with no legs around while i was out drinking etc. Anyway last night of my holiday I called it early and decided to walk around near my hotel giving all my Thai baht (local currency) away to homeless people. Saw a guy on the ground and i went over to give him some money but turned out he was just a drunk local. Anyway I ask if he’s OK, etc., and then this American girl comes out of nowhere and starts helping him too. His friends then rock up out of nowhere and carry him away and she then asks me to come to a club with her and we later go back to my hotel. Was the most awesome ending to my trip and the biggest example of karma I’ve received I’d say.”

Clintosity


44. I wrote down the number incorrectly and it was some random girl. Had sex anyway.

“Was in Chile traveling for work (from the US, started traveling very early in my career). Went out one night and met a girl. Wrote down her number. Called the next day and left a message. Called back that night and she answered but didn’t remember me. She decided to meet me for a drink anyway. Turns out in my drunken state I wrote down the number incorrectly and it was some random girl. Had sex.”

Exptgy TC mark

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