19. Don’t bring up ‘crazy’ exes.
“Don’t bring up ‘crazy’ ex gf’s you may have had. It’s a first date tell me about you not about other girls who you’ve been with.”
20. Don’t tell her you’re out of her league.
“‘Haha, yeah, I’m way out of your league but don’t worry I still like you.’
… um, thanks? I guess? What an honor…”
21. Don’t bring your 5yo child and tell him ‘she’s your new mommy.’
“Late to the party, but still. Don’t bring your 5yo child and tell him ‘she’s your new mommy.’ Nope nope nope.”
22. Don’t mention the Illuminati.
“I had a guy tell me the entire night about the persistence of the Illuminati. The next day, he texted to invite me to his trailer to watch conspiracy theory videos on YouTube. We’re obviously married now.”
23. Don’t take her to your basement room to watch you play WoW.
“Take me to your basement room to watch you play WoW. Then ask me to leave ‘because you have a team raid in 15 minutes you have to get ready for.’
I did not answer his calls after that.”
24. Don’t ask whether the girl had waxed or shaved her private parts.
“Ask whether the girl had waxed or shaved her private parts. Then, upon hearing no, tell her you have a razor in your backpack. I noped out of that one right quick.”
25. Don’t grab a solid handful of her ass cheek.
“Grab a solid handful of your ass cheek as if it were the most appropriate greeting to give your date.”