7. Don’t drive barefoot to an ‘adult entertainment’ store and ask her if she wants to go shopping.
“I once went on a first date where I got into the guy’s car and he started drifting through the busy streets in an urban area and refused to stop to let me out of the car. He didn’t wear shoes and brought me to Carl’s Jr. for dinner (which I paid for). As we were driving by an ‘adult entertainment’ store on our way back to my car he asked if I wanted to stop in and go shopping. All of these are no-no’s for a first date in my book.”
8. Don’t laugh about how you tortured a cat to death.
“Don’t go on about how you hate cats (or animals in general) and describe to me how you once tortured a cat to death while laughing as if you’re telling the greatest joke ever. Fucking psycho.”
9. Don’t be rude to the waitress.
“It’s pretty basic but I will not hesitate to go ghost if a guy is rude to the waitress.”
10. Don’t suddenly announce that you’re scheduled for a sex-change operation in three days.
“Tell me that he is scheduled for a sex-change operation in three days and was wondering if I would fuck him with a strap on that was made from a mold of his penis after he healed…And this was right after we ordered our food.”
11. Don’t insist you can’t be gay because you’re Turkish.
“1 hour into the date I know ALL the skincare and hair products he uses and the guy spends a lot of time checking out the very cute (I might have noticed too) male waiter. I ask him if he’d like to ask the waiter out instead and the guy completely loses his shit and starts insisting very loudly that he is Turkish so he can’t be gay and we should now go to his place to ‘watch a DVD.’ This was before Netflix + Chill obviously.”
12. Don’t ask if she’s a natural blonde, then stare at her crotch.
“Ask, ‘Are you a natural blonde?’ then shift your eyes to my crotch. Shudders”