1. Bite your tongue to delay orgasm.
“Cumming too quickly? Wanna last a little longer? Bite your tongue. Literally. Bite on that shit like it’s a sandwich in your mouth. Someone told me this once and it has always worked. You’re welcome.”
2. Always jerk off before making any decisions involving women.
“Always jerk off before making any decisions involving women. Always.”
3. Start like a butterfly landing on a flower, finish like a bulldog eating mayonnaise.
“This is not my quote, and I don’t remember where I saw it, but it stuck with me: ‘Start like a butterfly landing on a flower, finish like a bulldog eating mayonnaise.’”
4. Eat and drink a lot of fruit; it makes your cum taste sweet.
“Eat and drink a lot of fruit. From what I have been told by women I have received head from, it makes your cum taste sweet. I have gotten a lot more head in my day from this tip alone.”
5. Eat her shitter like an apple fritter.
“Eat her shitter like an apple fritter. You’ll absolutely rock her world.”
6. Eat a ton of celery to become a sex god.
“Want better staying power, harder erections, and more cum? Eat a ton of celery (like a whole stalk) about 2-3 hours prior to launch. This supposedly was Peter North’s secret.”
7. Avocados literally changed my sex life.
“Avocados literally changed my sex life. Same with avocado oil. For me if I eat at least half an avocado about an hour or two before I know I’m about to get it, I not only last longer but am twice as firm and 1000 times more confident.”
8. Sweat on your undershirt, let it dry out, and wear it later as a pheromone trap.
“I’ll take a shower, put on a clean undershirt, then go for a run. When I get home, I’ll take the undershirt and put it on a hanger to dry it out. When I go out that night I’ll put the undershirt back on. The pheromones I deposited earlier seem to work on those ladies that are attracted to my specific brand of pheromones.”
9. When you eat a girl out, suck her clit like it’s a tiny dick.
“When you eat a girl out, suck her clit like it’s a tiny dick. After you create suction, use your tongue to gently flick it. Because if you only lap up her pussy like a thirsty golden retriever, you’re going to have a sore jaw, and she’s going to end the night frustrated.
While you get your suck on, use your middle and index fingers to penetrate in and out — gently pressing her ‘A’ spot. If she’s laying on her back, it’s inward and down on the wall separating Charlie from the chocolate factory. This will create a feeling like she’s being fucked while you give her fun button a smooch.
Most girls have never been eaten out this way, and you’ll be on her sexual shortlist next time she’s in the mood.”
10. Trim your armpit hair.
“Trimming your armpit hair reduces the smell by a lot, without the discomfort of shaving. Same goes for the balls.”
11. Trim your pubes. Instant 1 inch longer donger!
“Trim your pubes. Instant 1 inch longer donger!
Source: trimmed my pubes, now have 2-inch dick.”
12. If she likes being on top, put a pillow under your ass.
“If she likes being on top, put a pillow under your ass, you’ll feel deeper to her because you’ll be higher up down there. Plus, if you’re married like me, those pillows your wife decorates the bed with suddenly have a real purpose. Lol.”
13. Shave your balls.
“Shave your balls. Girls are fascinated by them. Every girl I’ve been with has been in awe of balls, how they move on their own, how gross they look. They will end up in her mouth with or without your help.”
14. Want a bigger dick? Lose some weight.
“Want a bigger dick? Lose some weight. The area around your ding dong has a pad of fat above it and thigh fat around it.”
15. How to ‘chub up’ your flaccid member.
“If, for some reason, you want to extend the length of your flaccid member, say before casually strutting into a room in the nude, slap that bad-boy against your thighs a few times to get the blood flowing. Grows a bit, but doesn’t get hard, and shows the old lady (or man) what’s what.
Best done in front of mirror, with hands on hips, staring yourself dead in the eyes. It’s go-time.”
16. When you put something of yours inside a woman, just hold it perfectly still for a second.
“When you put something of yours inside a woman, just hold it perfectly still for a second. She will start moving on it, then once you see what rhythm she likes, continue at that pace.”
17. Tense your abs to delay premature ejaculation.
“If you cum too fast during sex try tensing your muscles hard, specifically your abs. Try to focus on taking the feeling away from your dick while your tensing your abs, it takes some practice but it works. Then when she’s good you can let loose and cum when you want. Try to remember to breathe, though.”
18. After taking a piss, press up against your taint to squeeze out the last drop.
“After taking a piss, press up against your taint. That way you push out all of the liquid that’s still in the pipeworks. It prevents situations like this one. (SFW)”
19. WASH. YOUR. ASSHOLE.
“WASH. YOUR. ASSHOLE.
WASH IT.
It doesn’t make you gross or gay to touch your own asshole, it makes you a functional member of society.
WASH IT.”
20. When you’re about to nut, take a deep breath and hold it.
“When you’re about to nut, take a deep breath and hold it, the extra oxygen goes straight to your brain and it’ll make the orgasm stronger.”
21. The clit is at the top, fellas.
“Let’s just put it this way. For you young’uns out there, the clit is at the top fellas. Someone could’ve saved me a lot of embarrassment in high school if they had just told me that.
Some poor girl laying there pretending to enjoy me tongue-punching her vaganus like I’m a goddamn bulldog eating a bowl of oatmeal. If you’re gonna go panning for gold and looking for El Dorado, it helps to start in the right hemisphere.”
22. If you’re going down on a girl and she shifts, don’t shift with her.
“If you’re going down on a girl and she shifts, don’t shift with her. She’s trying to get you to hit a certain spot.”
23. Don’t send dick pics without being asked.
“It is never, ever acceptable to send women pictures of your cock without being explicitly asked.”
24. Stimulate the prostate.
“Stimulate the prostate. Seriously, I cannot recommend this enough. It will give you the most intense orgasm of your life, AND is healthy for you as well.”
25. Use Nair on your butthole area.
“Use Nair on your butthole area. The goopy hair removal stuff that basically dissolves hair from your body? Yeah, that. They do have a bikini line version for sensitive areas, if you’re scared of playing the ‘butthole is lava’ game. I highly recommend doing this by sitting in the bathtub and using that to rinse off after, as well. Hopefully your pooper hair doesn’t clog the drain!
Now that you’ve removed all butt hair, prepare yourself for the luxurious life of clean sweeps or just single wipes when you drop a deuce.
Fair warning though, your farts are now going to sound retarded. I don’t know why it happens, but for some reason having an ass jungle helps make farts sound normal and manly. When you remove that jungle, your farts will now sound weak and squeaky, like a mouse playing the trumpet at a funeral.”
26. When she says, ‘Don’t stop,’ keep doing EXACTLY what you’re doing.
“This might get buried, but when she says ‘Don’t stop’ or something along those lines, you don’t move a muscle, you don’t blink, you don’t let the expanding of the universe affect your rhythm. You keep doing EXACTLY what you’re doing. Change NOTHING about what you’re currently doing to please your lady.”
27. Go down on your girlfriend until she cums at least once, but preferably twice, BEFORE ANY pole-to-hole action.
“Men who finish rather quickly: go down on your girlfriend until she cums at least once, but preferably twice, BEFORE ANY pole-to-hole action. It won’t matter to her how long the actual sex lasts if she’s already finished twice.
Source: I last about a minute but have a mean tongue game.”
28. Give your dick a little rinse after each piss.
“Give your dick a little rinse after each piss. Shaking it doesn’t remove all the piss from your cack, there is still residue piss on there and will cause your cack to smell and your underwear will soil. Easy way to fix this is to run your hand through some water and then gently go over the tip. Doesn’t take a lot of water, you want your dick wet with water, not piss. For public bathrooms, run your hand through water before hitting the urinal or soak a paper towel and take it with you to urinal. My dick is always fresh and BJ ready. No one needs salty dick in their mouths.”
29. Pay attention to her breathing patterns and whether or not she’s having any muscle spasms.
“When having sex, pay attention to her breathing patterns and whether or not she’s having any muscle spasms.
Also, get that foreplay in, treat your girl right and she’ll do the same.
I like to trace my fingers along her body, and when I find a spot where she kind of pulls away, I know that’s a sensitive area – abuse that information, but not too much.
Tease them. Are they wanting you to go faster? Do a quick fake-out like you’re about to go fast or deep, and then enter almost painfully slow.
Most women are more freaky than you think. One of my favorite moves is grabbing both wrists and holding them above her head in missionary so she can’t move her arms. I’ve yet to meet a woman that doesn’t like that.
Also, I try to stay away from clubs now, but if you’re on the dance floor try booty bumping/grinding on a chick, give ’em a smile like you’re playing around. A lot of chicks love me that little bit of control/role-reversal.
I probably have more but those are off the top of my head.”
30. How to cure premature ejaculation.
“You can train yourself to last longer over the span of a few weeks/months. it just takes diligence and consistency! Step #1: Stop watching porn – I have no ethical issues with it at all, it just sexually desensitizes you and sends your brain batty signals about sexual expectation. More importantly, because it’s so fucking visually stimulating, you cum much more quickly. Over time this trains your body to cum at this accelerated rate, with a real woman or not. anyways, off the porn soapbox.
When you are masturbating, focus intensely on keeping your muscles completely relaxed. I’m talking about the muscles that let you flex your junk – those guys – especially as you come close to climax. Visualize the path to your junk as being a corridor that you must keep open, no matter how badly you want to flex that corridor with your muscles and start the process of sending that love potion up the missile silo. The closer you get to climax the harder you must force those muscles to stay relaxed, and finally stop yourself from cumming just before your ‘point of no return’ and back yourself down from release. Rinse and repeat as many times as you can stand, I usually can pull it off 3 or 4 times before I get frustrated and just let go (it doesn’t need to be an hour-long session). The time is not important, rebuilding your muscle memory is the goal. Again, the purpose of this exercise is not to get close to climax and then hold back (that would just be an exercise in annoyance, although this does make the final orgasm pretty intense), the entire point is to train you MUSCLES NOT TO CONTRACT when you’re getting close – you don’t want your internal muscles to fire until you want them to. Got this tip from my creepy uncle (who, in his defense, has done much, much fucking in his day). Once I got this feeling down – it took a few months masturbating in this manner exclusively – I was able to go from 3-10 minutes to 15-45 with effortless consistency. I can actually start to notice when I haven’t been masturbating this way because I start to last for shorter amounts of time. when this happens, I get back on this training program and voila! back to 30 min porn star level fuck sessions. My wife has always scratched her head as to these fluctuations in how long I last, I’ve never disclosed this to her….so I’ll just tell all of reddit instead.”
31. Stop masturbating and avoid pornography.
“Stop masturbating and avoid pornography. I’m serious. It doesn’t matter if it’s softcore, hardcore, amateur or professional. If you’re anything like me then you probably waste too much time jacking off and living vicariously through other’s lives via internet porn than you do living your life to its fullest potential.
If you think I’m being preachy, then take it from a guy who just finished making sweet love to two his hand for the past two and a half hours. I have personal goals that I want to accomplish this year that simply will not get done if I continue to devote the bulk of my free time looking at – and getting off to – internet porn.
On a side note, here’s what I’ve found interesting with my little porn habit: when I’m in the moment I see myself like this. However, as soon as I climax, and come to (no pun intended), I realize that I was more like that all along.”
32. Use some lube and relax your grip when you’re jerking off.
“It is very easy to get in the habit of gripping really hard while you’re jerking off. This trains your dick/brain to expect more stimulation than a vagina naturally provides and makes you want to jackhammer when you’re having sex. And the ladies generally are only into that in small doses.
So use some lube and relax your grip when you’re jerking off.”
33. Kegels can make you last longer in bed.
“Kegels can make you last longer in bed. Your kegel is the muscle you use when you’re trying not to pee. Just flex, hold for ten seconds, then relax. Repeat ten times every day and you’ll be picking up weights with your dick.”
34. Rub one out before going on your first date.
“Rub one out before going on your first date. ‘Baby batter in the brain is like going out with a loaded gun.’”
35. Go in super deep and just kind of do small, slow thrusts, or just let her hips do the work.
“When your girl is getting ready to get off, go in super deep and just kind of do small, slow thrusts, or just let her hips do the work, but stay in deep. It’s a great move and feels awesome.”
36. When going down on your lady, flatten your tongue out and use as much surface area as possible.
“When going down on your lady, flatten your tongue out and use as much surface area as possible. Use circular motions, using as much tongue as you can and sweeping over your bottom lip. When she starts getting into it (usually when she starts moving her hips in rhythm to your tongue) gently put a finger in there and gently rub upwards, keeping in rhythm. At this point keep tempo, no need to speed up. Keep going a little longer after she finishes for extra credit.”
37. Give your girl a massage before sex.
“Give your girl a massage before sex. Note any point on her body that makes her moan when you put pressure on it. Let the massage lead to foreplay, massage her inner thighs, breasts, and pussy until she’s ready for you.
(Another redditor suggested foreplay until you lose your erection and it comes back. I second this.)
Pull her bottom up while her torso is still down (doggy style, of course) and while you’re doing her right put loads of pressure on those points from before, it will make her go craaaaaazy. I call this The Pleasure Point Fuck.”
38. Consider using Nair with aloe on your undercarriage, your balls and in between your butt cheeks before a shower.
“For those of you that are Sasquatch down below, seriously consider using Nair with aloe on your undercarriage, your balls and in between your butt cheeks before a shower. After a while you can start shaving with a regular shaver and. you won’t get the spikes.
I started doing it after a friend told me to try it and it’s wonderful. Some cons to but I feel like the pros outweigh it.
Pros- No more dingle berries. I HATE dingle berries. Easiest wiping ever. I used to use a shit ton of TP, now it’s like two sheets, one wipe and done. In my experience, girls really appreciate during le sexy times. Smooth balls are literally the best feeling thing ever. Also, girls will be more inclined to sucks those cojones if you are into that kind of thing. Feel cleaner Hair doesn’t get stuck in pants zipper.
Cons Sweat doesn’t dry as easy and easier to get swamp ass. If you are sweating that much though, you are probably going to take a shower in the near future. Gotta keep up with it to avoid spike hairs, for the first few months. Eventually though the spike hairs won’t come. Gotta be careful with Nair hence me saying be cautious. Farts will be louder. Hair muffles sound.
Last thing – if you do this, DO NOT Nair or shave any portion of skin that you sit on. In between the cheeks and gooch are fine, back of thighs and actually butt cheeks are not. You will get NASTY ingrown hairs everywhere that are not pleasant.”
39. Gold Bond the bit and pieces, men.
“Gold Bond. Gold Bond the bit and pieces, men. Instead of a sweaty sack sticking to your leg all day, you’ll have a minty refreshing feeling resembling angel’s wings that absorbs moisture and odor.”
40. Try not to ejaculate for three weeks.
“Try not to ejaculate for three weeks. It’s great to be horny as hell, get an erection very easily. To be able to fuck several times during the night. Or if you not with a partner, to direct the leftover sexual energy into work or sports.
You’re able to do so much more. It’s not an absence of sex, masturbation or anything else. Be who you are and live out your fantasies, just don’t cum. If you have a miss, start again from day one. No harm.
It is a great tantric practice!”
41. A 6-pack is 90% diet.
“A 6-pack is 90% diet.”
42. For the love of god wash under your foreskin daily.
“Probably too late, but for the love of god wash under your foreskin daily. Also, take a break to ‘freshen up’ down there when you get home with a lady friend. The stench of stale smegma is gonna stop most ladies from giving you a blowjob, otherwise.”
43. Take a sip of water to cure a painful boner.
“Waking up in the middle of the night with a painful boner? Take a sip of water, it will go away immediately. I still have no idea why.”
44. If you want to last longer in bed, jack off before your girlfriend comes over.
“If you want to last longer in bed, jack off before your girlfriend comes over.”
45. Tease the hell out of your SO.
“Tease the hell out of your SO. I like to get my girlfriend at the peak of orgasm when she’s about to cum and I just stop everything I’m doing. It drives her nuts (no pun intended). One time I did this three times and on the 4th she squirted like a fountain. She’s never squirted before and I’ve never been squirted on, or made a girl squirt. ALSO talk dirty to her, when we’re getting in the mood I like to whisper to her ‘tell me you wanna fuck me’ and after having her repeat it about 3 times, she’s ready for the phallus.”
46. Wear tight underwear so your dick feels bigger.
“Wear tight underwear so your dick feels bigger. I’m so lonely…”
47. Squeeze your legs together to kill a boner.
“Squeeze your legs together to kill a boner. Forces the blood away from the organ.”
48. Put a butt plug in your ass for amazing orgasms.
“Put a butt plug in your ass for amazing orgasms.”
49. Learn to lick the alphabet.
“Learn to lick the alphabet.”
50. Shave your junk and it looks bigger.
“I am hung like an elf…shave your junk and it looks bigger.”
