25. I wasn’t physically attracted to him and I didn’t think that mattered, but in the end, surprise! It does matter.
“I cheated on my ex for a lot of reasons. We were engaged and things moved really quickly. I wasn’t physically attracted to him and I didn’t think that mattered, but in the end, surprise! It does matter. My ex drank a lot and refused to help around the house. He was constantly talking to his ex-girlfriend. He never cared about me. We moved to a town that I completely and utterly hated. It just became a prison. I was unhappy all the time. Then I met someone at work who gave a shit. Or seemed to, anyway. I only technically cheated once. Then I felt so bad that I ended things.”
26. I have poor self-control and a lack of respect for his feelings and I’m a coward.
“Why did I cheat? I have poor self-control and a lack of respect for his feelings and I’m a coward.
The long version is that we’d known each other for years through an online game, I was 16 and attention starved, quite an ugly duckling. He was funny, he made me laugh and I liked him.
We start dating, but it’s long distance. Through the years we only saw each other twice. The first visit was at my place; I wasn’t a social butterfly but I did like to go out and do things. Go to the occasional bar. Go for a picnic. He had anxiety and didn’t want to do much. Whenever I asked it was “I don’t know” with a lot of reluctance. So we stayed inside all summer playing games.
Sex was near impossible, I think it was his anxiety medication but he had a lot of trouble maintaining an erection. I was immature and not very understanding, I took it as an insult against myself.
The second visit was at his and it was just more of the same. I was in university at this point and studying, he was four years older than my 18 and had never had a single job. His life consisted solely of playing video games all day into the am, repeat. No license, no job, no drive.
His personality was a reflection of the limited media he consumed. Everything just went stagnant.
Months passed and I stopped making the effort to talk, he never initiated a conversation, always had an excuse for not even trying to look for a job. I was bored.
But I didn’t do him the courtesy of telling him this and breaking it off. I just cheated and waited till he found out. I couldn’t even bring myself to regret it, I still don’t.”
27. I used cheating as an excuse to get out of a relationship instead of just dumping them.
“I’ve cheated during five of my seven long- term relationships.
It wasn’t right but I used cheating as an excuse to get out of a relationship instead of just dumping them. I’d cheat, tell them immediately, and then I could just disappear from their lives with little confrontation. Why fight to keep a cheater around?
It was always with this girl I had loved since I came out as a lesbian in grade nine and I couldn’t let her go. This summer while I was single, I made out with her at a party and for the first time in almost 8 years I felt absolutely nothing for her. I’m in a relationship now with someone who treats me way better than she ever did and hopefully I’ve grown up enough that I can talk about relationship issues with my partner instead of just falling into bed with a long-time ex.”