1. DON’T be married.
“Seeing their wedding ring.”
2. DON’T show up late.
“Lateness. To me it is a huge sign of disrespect. I mean sure, a few minutes because you couldn’t find parking or because the traffic was crazier than normal is fine. But google maps tells you with pretty good accuracy how long it takes to get somewhere. So if you are late, I feel like you didn’t care enough to try to be on time.”
3. DON’T talk too much about your ex.
“Talking too much about your ex. I get it, everybody has an ex, and the breakup might have been a transformative event in your life. So if you want to mention it a little bit, sure. But don’t go on and on about him/her/them.”
4. DON’T bring your kids…
“When they bring their kids -.-”
5. …or your parents…
6. …or your brother…
“She brought her brother. It was a casual, bar thing. Few people I knew were there. But. She brought her brother.”
7. …or your friends.
“His friends being there.”
8. DON’T stay glued to your phone.
“Your fucking cellphone. We are on a date, not the people who you’re texting.”
9. DON’T say ‘I love you.’
“I love you.’”
10. DON’T act like you expect your date to pay.
“When the (in my case girl, but could be anyone) other person expects you to pay and doesn’t even attempt to acknowledge or thank you.
Example: I was on a terrible first date, and after dinner the waiter put the check between us. I decided I would ignore the check until she said something, because she had been complaining about menu prices earlier (it was a Thai place with a MAX of $20 a dish). After 45 minutes of awkward conversation and her eyes flicking to the check, she finally managed a ‘so, are you going to pay, or what?’ I said sure and smiled, to which she said ‘Finally! A true gentleman pays for everything on a date.”’
Without going into detail, a lot more things went wrong on that date, but that was really the icing on the cake for me. My current girlfriend ordered a Guinness on our first date and when I tried to pay told me ‘you can take me to dinner if you make it to a third date, but I’ll buy the ice cream after.’”
11. DON’T keep steering the conversation back toward yourself.
“When a date continually steers the conversation back towards themselves and doesn’t ask any questions about you. Conversations aren’t meant to be one-sided. That shit is boring and selfish.”
12. DON’T fat-shame your date.
“When you (female) order a burger and he asks ‘Are you sure you don’t want a salad?’”
13. DON’T talk about having children with your date.
“Talking about ‘someday if we have kids.’ It happened.”
14. DON’T try to save your date’s soul.
“The line: ‘Do you accept Jesus as your lord and savior?’ If that’s the first thing I hear right out of the gate, I nope out of there.”
15. DON’T talk with your mouth full.
“If it’s a dinner date then talking with your mouth full.”
16. DON’T get sloppy drunk.
“Getting drunk. Know your limits and keep your head above water.”
17. DON’T act like you’re on a job interview.
“Men who give almost a prepared speech about their goals in life, their work, and their work philosophy, usually discussing several things about their past that they think they need to make excuses about. Relax, just let’s talk, ask me some questions about myself and let me ask some about you. And let me come to my own conclusions.”
18. DON’T act super-horny.
“My brethren may deny this, but sex. I find being too sexual and wanting sex on the first date as a sign that either a) she only wants to go out with you to get laid or b) the relationship will be centered around sex or c) our mutual reasons for sex are different. All are turnoffs for me. Sex is a relationship enhancer in my opinion, and I prefer to save it for after the whole ‘falling in love’ stage. Much more connected and personal.”
19. DON’T look like a different person from your online photos.
“Not looking like their online profile.”
20. DON’T dress like a slob.
“I don’t care if this makes me shallow—not being decently dressed for a first date is a huge turn off for me.
You don’t have to wear designer clothes or a suit but showing up in basketball shorts and flip flops to a date (specifically if we’re going to eat or get drink, ) is a little disrespectful. While I don’t go all out to go on a date, I’ll at least wear a nice top and make sure my hair is not crazy. I once went on a date where I wore a nice sundress and cute sandals only to have the dude show up homemade in jorts and flip flops. 😑”
21. DON’T be rude to the server.
“Being rude or unfriendly to anyone in the service industry. I don’t care how nice you are to me, if you’re rude to the waiter/bartender/ticket guy/etc. you’re never seeing me again.”
22. DON’T take food off your date’s plate.
“Take food off my plate. I mean, it’s cool if we’re sharing bread or an appetizer. That’s one thing. But don’t just reach out and take a shrimp off my plate. You might get forked in this bitch. Definitely no 2nd date for a shrimp thief.”
23. DON’T reveal everything that’s wrong with you in the first five minutes.
“I suppose it’s a good thing that the chick I went on a date with proceeded to spend the entire dinner telling me about her crippling alcoholism (which she was in recovery for and relapsed shortly after our date when she fell off the face of the earth), her extreme bi-polar disorder, the fact she laughingly said that her doctor told her she was a substance abuser and not just an alcoholic when she last saw him, how she doesn’t turn down some coke if it’s offered to her because she likes to party now and again, the first and second time she tried heroin and it didn’t have the effect on her that it does with everyone else, how she once laid down on the edge of the road to try and kill herself. There’s other shit she talked about but I can’t recall all of it. I barely got a word in edge-wise. She was/is a cornucopia of fucking ridiculous disorders. Glad I got the red-flags on the first date instead of way down the line. Never would have guessed those things just by casually talking to her at work like I did for a while before asking her out.”
24. DON’T start puking and crying about how you’re still in love with your ex.
“Had a girl drag me to a shitty concert and then proceed to get wasted. Spent the rest of our ‘date’ taking care of her while she puked in the bathroom and cried about how she was still in love with her ex. That was definitely a big turnoff. Needless to say no second date.”
25. DON’T overshare.
“Oversharing. I really don’t want to hear about how all your exes are psychos and you hate your mother. Please. And likewise, I will do you the solid of not running on about how all my exes were psychos and how I have daddy issues. I have found that most people are pretty comfortable with someone having some skeletons in the closet, but not if you’re giving them a tour of the closet on the first date.”