29 Extremely Awkward (But Hilarious) True Stories Of BAD SEX

13. ‘You can either be spanked or lick the Stick of Discipline.’

“Not my current SO, but an ex. He was trying to act more kinky, something that he had no real experience in, and he said something along the lines of ‘You can either be spanked or lick the Stick of Discipline.’ There was no licking of the Stick of Discipline that night.”

PhoenixDays


14. Making the loudest, fakest, whiniest moans imaginable.

“Making the loudest, fakest, whiniest moans imaginable. I cringed every time.”

hocicodelkronen


15. My ex would constantly say I was ‘swimming inside her’ when we were having sex.

“My ex would constantly say I was ‘swimming inside her’ when we were having sex…. I wasn’t sure if she was calling me very tiny or herself very wide. Either way it was not sexy and always ruined the mood for me.”

Catanians


16. He kept slapping me while kissing me.

“We were making out, and he slapped me. Then he kissed again, slapped again. Kissed again, slapped again. Then he noticed my baffled expression. Then it was just weird and he apologized, and we each went home and never spoke of it again. I’m not even entirely sure he was trying to turn me on, but it’s really kind of the only way I can make sense of it.”

littletrashgoblin


Related

More From Thought Catalog