1. Eye contact.
“When their eyes become softer while looking at you.”
“Being kind just for the sake of it. And nice, dangly balls.”
I don’t care what you’re passionate about, as long as it’s safe and sane. It could be something conventional like painting, traveling, architecture. My favorite is when it’s something totally obscure. Do you collect left socks? Do you have a passion for postage stamps dated between 1942-1950? If it’s something I don’t, and will never, understand, I find it way more fun to get to know you/your experiences/the way your mind works, because I will find it so baffling. This is probably because I, myself, am a fucking nutter.
Even aside from this, if your passion is a sport, or drawing—it’s an indicator that you have the ability to love intensely. My SO loves football, which many people may find boring—but the way he keeps up with the matches, gets into the scores, and keeps track of it all, I find endearing. One of my first boyfriends hid his obsession with Warhammer from me, stashing the models under his bed like they were naughty mags. When I found it, he got 10 x more attractive. He has a hobby. He spends his spare time developing his skills into something that takes strategy, creativity, and competitive energy. Though I may not have been interested in it myself, the attributes that come with it are most certainly ones I’d look for in a partner.
I’m not sure if this makes sense, but I know what I mean.”
“Being an honest person, but not being a dick. Taking the time to compliment how she looks, how her hair is done, how she’s done her makeup. Especially if you’re on a date. She has done her hair, makeup and dressed up for you, so you should show that you have noticed. Being a gentleman. It’s not cheesy to hold the door open for a lady.”
“Being funny will reign supreme always.”
“Someone who can respect an opinion that’s not their own, and of course a relatable taste in music.”
“Have the ability to just be relaxed and their self around me. To just be and be happy. So if you’re a bit geeky about something you’re passionate about or love dad jokes or whatever it is. Being yourself is better than being what you think a man should be like around a girl or potential partner.”
“Ambition. If you’re not working towards goals it is the biggest turnoff. Even if its a small goal it shows some drive and makes me want to support and empower you and know that you’re willing to do the dame for me and my goals. Also not being quick to anger. Guys who throw and kick things when angry need a physical release to express their feelings and it can escalate very quickly.”
“Protective and kind to his family (obvious exceptions if the family are assholes).”
“The ability to recognize that women are all different and find different things attractive in guys.”
11. Being nice.
“Be nice to service staff.”
“Being funny, but not obnoxiously funny, or being confident, but not over-confident/cocky.”
“Personality. The ability to be who you are without giving a shit what others think.”
“Being kind and honest. Put the pride and fear aside and talk straight with a little empathy and caring. It goes a long way in building trust and respect. Of course that takes courage and a willingness to be vulnerable.”
“Intelligence. Can’t stand a dude I can’t have an educated argument with.”
“A tie between self-awareness and a positive attitude. A guy who takes responsibility for his feelings and is a happy person is wonderful to be around.”
“Not making a big deal about petty things. Being able to control his emotions and not getting ridiculously angry over anything.”
“Maturity, intelligence, and stability.”
“Kindness would have to be pretty far up there. There’s so much negativity in the world and my job can be pretty stressful. It’s nice to have someone who can just be warm and comforting sometimes. Also openness is a good one too. I know in our society, men are often encouraged to bottle up their emotions. This is a real shame because being able to openly communicate is important to establishing intimacy in a relationship.”
20. A good heart.
“A good heart. I’ve been with the same man for 39 years, so I know what I’m talking about. No matter what my failings are or what his failings are, I completely trust that he wants the best for us.”