1. If she’s obsessed with social media.
“Obsession with social media.”
2. If her head’s buried in the phone while we’re having a conversation.
“Head in phone when we are having a conversation is a pretty much an instant-out.”
3. If she’s into astrology.
I had a panicked moment when initially dating my SO, she told me she was way into astronomy. Then I thought for a moment and realized she meant stars not star signs.”
4. If there are Marilyn Monroe quotes anywhere in her house.
“Marilyn Monroe quotes.”
5. If all of her exes are ‘creeps’ or ‘abusive.’
“All her exes are ‘creeps’ or ‘abusive’” with no evidence. Assholes/douchey sure, but that’s a sign that she’s toxic and wants to manipulate the guy into thinking she’s a victim.”
6. If she acts like a princess.
“She acts like a ‘princess’ and should be treated as such.”
7. If she’s a spoiled-ass rich bitch.
“If she’s a spoiled-ass rich bitch. I hate that shit. Before I got married (before I was ever in a relationship with my SO), I was talking to this girl and her dad bought her ass 2 cars for her 16th birthday and she still complained about him. I was like, ‘No thank you.’”
8. If she says ‘I don’t do drama and I don’t play games.’
“If they say ‘I don’t do drama and I don’t play games,’ then I run.”
9. If she has daddy issues.
“Daddy issues. Never again.”
10. If she refers to herself as ‘a strong and independent woman.’
“When they use the phrase ‘I’m a strong and independent woman.’”
11. ‘Live, Love, Laugh’…FUCK YOU
“‘Live, Love, Laugh’
12. If she’s bossy.
“Being bossy. Telling me to do things is okay when it’s reasonable. Demanding me is unacceptable.”
13. If she shares Facebook posts about how ‘crazy/mentally unbalanced’ she is.
“If they share posts on Facebook about how ‘crazy/mentally unbalanced’ they are as if it’s cute.”
14. If a girl is wearing side-blinders to the world I just can’t dig it.
“She’s gotta have self-awareness. So many people, men and women both, just don’t seem to ever stop and consider the effect they have on those around them. If a girl is wearing side-blinders to the world I just can’t dig it.”
15. If she chews loudly.
“Loud chewing. It was a Seinfeldian-esque problem I had. If you were a gross, loud chewer, it was a major turn-off.”
16. If she’s cruel.
17. If she believes in healing crystals.
18. If she has kids.
“Has kids, sorry but I’m not helping with that nonsense, I don’t even want kids of my own let alone someone other dude’s.”
19. If she’s the equestrian type of lady.
“I ride horses.”
20. If she acts stupid in an attempt to seem ‘cute.’
“Acting stupid in an attempt to seem ‘cute.’”
21. If she beats around the bush.
“Bad at communicating/unclear dialogue. I’m no good with hints. If I make you mad tell me why. Don’t act like a 12-year-old.”
22. If she agrees with everything I say.
“Not having an opinion on anything or immediately caving to avoid conflict. I don’t want you to agree with everything I say, I’d talk to a mirror if that is all I wanted from a conversation.”
23. If she can’t take responsibility for anything.
“Arrogance, and the inability to take responsibility for anything. Yes, the women in every job you’ve ever had are all bitches, and the fact that you have no savings is entirely because of your mildly troubled childhood. Of course I’ll sit and listen to you whine about it for hours while you immediately disregard any advice that might change your situation.
Not to single out women for that or anything. But I can’t deal with broken-record people anymore.”
24. If she hates men.
“Misandry. Not stuff like ‘lol look at my mug that says ‘Male Tears’ on it,’ that shit’s usually just petty. I mean like full on ‘men are worthless scum’ mindsets.
My friend’s ex (and a former friend of mine as well) had a really toxic mindset and often times made snide comments to him, downplaying his work and achievements just because he was a man. This includes saying ‘Ugh. Typical men’ when a model rocket he built didn’t launch correctly, and saying something along the lines of ‘shut up, nobody cares’ when he was telling a joke at dinner. She did this all while under the guise of being a feminist that cares about equality and would harp on you endlessly if you don’t agree with her non-self-aware ideology.”
25. If she walks ahead of me.
“Only had it happen to me once, but a girl I briefly dated would always hold my hand and walk ahead of me, so I felt like a kid or pet she was dragging along. Left her soon after, when her later behavior kinda cemented the feeling.”
26. If she constantly bad-mouths men.
“At my last job some of the women would congregate in the break room to bad-talk their husbands. I didn’t want to spend time in the same room as them much less be their friends. Very sad.”
27. If she brags about being awkward or depressed.
“Claiming to be social awkward/introvert/depressed because they think it makes them different and quirky.”
28. If she’s rude but plays it off as honesty.
“Probably the same one that puts me off being friends with guys as well, being far too aggressive and inconsiderate then label it as ‘brave’ or ‘saying it how it is.’ No, you’re not endearing, you just make every second that I’m in your presence an awful time.”
29. If she owns anything with leopard prints.
“Anything leopard print.”
30. If she has poor hygiene.
“Obesity, BO, bad breath… really just anything that indicates poor fitness or poor hygiene.”
31. If she’s a gold-digger.
“A woman who isn’t shy to ask a man for money.
I left my ex fiancée because of this. It was normal for her to just say ‘babe I need some cash please’ … Told her to get a job and that was the end of it.
Dated a girl a few months later, and after the first date, she asked me if I could take care of her cellphone bill. I told her no. A week later she told me she is looking for a new apartment, then I got the ‘Hey you think I can move in with you’ … ahhh NO?…”
32. If she’s always talking about her ex.
“Actively talking about your ex will have me lose feelings for you real quick.”
33. If she demeans other groups of people.
“If they talk down about any other group of people (race, religion, LGBT), that’s a deal-breaker.”
34. If she starts giving me orders.
“If she tries to tell me I ‘can’t’ do something rather than just asking me politely not to.”
35. If she’s obsessed with celebrities.
“Obsessions with celebrities.”
36. If she does duck face.
“If they do that weird duck lips thing then no thank you.”
37. If she collects owls.
“She collects owls. Big red flag.”
38. If she’s whiny.
“Whining. Would tell this girl I was dating my friends and I were going to watch the game, she would respond with (in a higher than normal pitch), ‘Ugh, but I neeeeeeed you.’ If it was in a sexual way, then sure. But it would be she just wanted me at her house to watch TV or a movie. Whining is annoying, not cute.”
39. If she has yellow teeth.
“Bad teeth. If they’re yellow, I’m-a let her mellow.”
40. If she’s a codependent drama queen.
“Dependence, this counts for emotional, financial, etc. You’ve gone this long dealing with your own problems, I don’t need to be your sounding board for everything wrong with your life/day/etc. If you can’t handle things independently of me you’re not for me. I’ve had to do it on my own my whole life, so I will look down on you. Obvious exceptions to this (severity of issue, time together).
Bad manners. If you don’t know how to eat with at least a modicum of respect or class you’re out. I’m a chef and will loving spend all day cooking for you, but if you drink a Pepsi, chew like a cow, and if you cant finish it save it for tomorrow’s lunch but eat the fucking leftovers (yes this is an ex I’m talking about).
Drama/Gossip, total deal breaker, if you’d rather talk about other people well I am just too smart for you, live your own life.
Conflict Resolution, if you can not hold your head (or fist, it’s happened) in an disagreement, I will think you are immature. Or for that matter, bringing up every wrong thing I have ever done. Fighting for the sake of fighting gets lumped in here. Or breaking up in the heat of anger, which I will happily walk away, but you’ll expect me to be there tomorrow and yes I am enough of an ass to make you pay for it.
Hope I don’t sound like too much of an asshole, but I choose to be with someone, I don’t need to be with something.”
41. If she refers to herself as ‘adorkable.’
“‘I’m adorkable’ = left swipe /// ‘I have a Zooey Deschanel kind of personality’ = all of my hate and a left swipe.”
42. If she’s bitchy and weighs over 99 pounds.
Also if she weighs over 99 lbs.
But mostly bitchy.”