27 Women Confess Why They Cheated On Their Significant Other

27. ‘I knew I was holding onto something dead and gone. So I let it go.’

“When you try so hard and things still just keep falling apart. My SO and I were engaged when he developed a really serious gambling problem that was beginning to sink us into a world of debt, he lost his job and took high-interest loans to gamble some more, he withdrew and became really depressed and hopeless, but also bitter and spiteful. I tried to stay by his side, I was supportive and patient, but I slowly lost it watching someone I’ve loved for 4.5 years just morph into something completely different who seemed to find me annoying for breathing. I’m sure it was the result of his guilt. I began to tell him I’d have to leave if this didn’t stop, I didn’t want to give an ultimatum but I got accepted into a school and would need to move to study there, there was no way if he continued his addiction it’d be possible for us to do this together…still I hoped and asked him to look up jobs there, or a place to study himself, but he had no interest. I was pretty heartbroken knowing I’d have to move alone, and he just didn’t seem to care. I went to visit my friend in the city who was hosting a party, he had a friend there that he went to school with who I previously thought was an annoying elitist hipster (also thought he was gay). I was a bit drunk at the time when we were left alone on the balcony smoking, so I jokingly hip bumped him and asked him ‘how you doin’) in a dumbass voice.. idk why but somehow that really sparked his interest, and quickly revealed to me he was ‘very’ straight. I was jokingly flirting/mainly being a dumbass and diffusing awkwardness with that move, still we ended up together that night. Woke up beside him to intense morning cuddles and the most pleasant morning of coffee, conversation, and sandwiches. I also glanced over the contents of his apt (decorations, books, gaming rig, consoles etc) which revealed a person I had really misjudged. I broke it off with my fiancé immediately after. Fast forward, this balcony dude is now snoring alongside me as I type, we ended up falling crazy in love and now live together. My ex, he was really jacked up for a time, but we’ve stayed on good terms and he has benefited from his freedom and exploration to a degree. We are really good friends and frequently talk/game together. Cheating wasn’t and really isn’t ok…it’s sad, hurtful, and selfish, and I wonder how one can trust me after knowing this is something I’ve done…then again we are human, we aren’t perfect, we fuck up, but we need to own up to it and do our best to patch up the wounds we create. It was a slap in my face at the time to see that it’d gone that far for me, to just cheat like that, it’s how I knew I was holding onto something dead and gone. So I let it go.”

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