1. I ate five Maine lobsters, then puked all over the lawn.
“One time I went to Maine and lobsters were only $3, so I ate five of them and then puked all over the lawn.”
2. I ate a pack of bacon, then chewed on the napkins to get the bacon grease.
“I once microwaved a pack of bacon and when I was done eating it I chewed on the napkins I used to get the bacon grease.”
3. I ate so much sushi, the restaurant cut me off.
“Ate so much sushi that I was told that I had reached the limit and had to be cut off. This was at a high-end sushi place in LA.”
4. Two chicken pot pies with rice and melted cheese stuffed into three tortillas with salsa and guac.
“In high school one day I was extremely hungry when I got home. I microwaved two frozen chicken pot pies, mixed the pies with leftover white rice and a couple of melted mozzarella cheese sticks. I then poured the mixture into three tortillas and dumped salsa and guac on the resulting mess and ate them all. Never underestimate the creativity of a hungry teenager.”