22. I wake up and my shirt was half buttoned down and my pants were down to my knees and the room smelled like sex/
“When I was younger, (probably like 17 or 18) I had a couple friends hanging out in my room. We were drinking this bottle of vodka, I was on my PC playing WoW, and then this girl that lives an hour away from me that I met off of World Of Warcraft and because of mutual friends hit me up. She really was obsessed with me and I didn’t want much to do with her because she was strange and like 4 years older than me. She has been to my house once because of a get together I had months before that. She kept insisting that she’s going to drive an hour and hang out with me after telling her it wasn’t a good idea over and over again. She ends up showing up and my friends were like we gotta go dude. So they left and she was sitting on my bed while I played WoW, hitting the sauce, and constantly telling her that she should leave. She basically refused so I pretty much drank the rest of the bottle because I felt really uncomfortable and remember throwing myself in bed after grabbing a glass of water. I wake up and my shirt was half buttoned down and my pants were down to my knees and the room smelled like sex (if you know what I mean by that certain smell). I got super pissed and made her leave and she admitted to me later on after I told her to never talk to me again that she tried to get me to ejaculate to impregnated herself while I was unconscious.”
23. My friend found me two hours later covered in blood.
“Went to a party in high school 16 year old me decided to get drunk for the second time in my life. A friendly girl who was admittedly bigger offered to help me up the stairs (I was staying in my friends room because I was far too intoxicated). but as we reach the room the door closes and the lock turns. It was dark and I felt her on me in moments, I tried to push her off but the room would spin and I fall back to the bed. She grabbed my wrists ‘let this happen’ are the words I can remember clearly. It was horrible to feel my body react naturally, my therapist said it’s called “the victims ultimate betrayal” or something along those lines. I just laid there in disbelief after she left, my stomach and groin was covered in what I assumed was just her wetness. My friend found me two hours later covered in blood. I had my first experience with a woman taken from me by a girl on her period. Now I live with a permanent fear of woman’s menstrual cycles….thank you for listening.”
24. She would fondle my erect penis and massage my testicles. Eventually it moved onto a finger in my butt and while she masturbated me.
“When I was 10 years old my parents had gotten a new baby sitter. She used to have me sit on her lap and covered us with a blanket. She would fondle my erect penis and massage my testicles. Eventually it moved onto a finger in my butt and while she masturbated me. She would always be so ecstatic and give me treats when she would do new things to me. Over the year it was just her abusing me anally while she would get me to dry orgasm. Of course, I never knew what those terms were at that age or that it was even wrong. It was fun for me and of course it felt really good. We saw each other again 15 years later.”
25. After she left, I felt immense relief and began to realize what had occurred.
“I was in 6th grade. She was in 9th. I accidentally sat in the back of the bus with the high-schoolers one day, and she thought it was cute. She and her friends decided to see how uncomfortable they could make me. She won.
But it didn’t end when I got off the bus. Every day for a year, she would go further and further on the bus or after getting off. My mom didn’t get home until 7 p.m.
I wasn’t mature yet. I thought I was supposed to like it, and couldn’t figure out why I didn’t. I tried mentioning it to my mom but she thought I had a ‘little girlfriend’.
She transferred out in my 7th grade, with no evidence and no contact. After she left, I felt immense relief and began to realize what had occurred. Disgust that I gave into the stereotype of males to accept anything and everything, anywhere, any time.
I didn’t touch another female until college.
Freshman year I was turned into a plaything for a foreign professor. It started with special attention during tutoring and escalated with after-club-activity meals, drinking at parties and playing the scared-drunk-foreigner act…
She wants to sleep on my couch. I can’t leave my professor out in the cold, can I? It escalates of course. Some twisted secret relationship in which I am both lover and gopher. I get strung along for months. Both of us go down if it gets out, so I go along with it.
She gets bored and dumps me halfway into the semester. Through a text. Refusing to meet me in person to talk. She tells me she can’t take the pressure of a relationship she initiated while I was drunk. She tells me to wait until she is no longer my professor. I see her every day in class, at club activities…
Semester ends and she invites me to a party. Upon arrival, I see her and some guy making out. She sees me, introduces her lover, offers a beer, and continues.
The next morning, I get a text detailing what she wanted from me was a pet of sorts. And I, like a good pet, had waited, but since she had someone, I was not needed.
She returned to her home country and I once again was left sitting alone wondering why I went along with what someone else wanted. Because it’s what my dad always wanted me to do, as if he vicariously relives his college days of sleeping around? Because I thought college would be different than middle school? I am a guy. I should be enjoying this.
I find myself drawn to older women, especially those that seem in power. I find women physically appealing, but nothing excites me in relationships. I am never nervous at a first kiss or first night. I sometimes see women with children to try to insert a presence into their lives as a sort of insurance. Or at least I assume this is the underlying reason. Children are innocent and kind, never scary and malicious. I have more fun babysitting them than alone time with a woman oft times.
And in the deep dark depths of my mind, I want to find a woman that I can subject to the same sort of dominance I experienced in the past. This thought scares me, and so I steer myself further towards older, more experienced women.
TL;DR—Taken advantage of by older women with social power over me. Have complicated domination fetish I hide by going after older, dominant women. Don’t really enjoy relationships.”
26. I had a black eye, bite marks, injuries to my balls from her pulling them in the assault.
“I was physically beaten by an ex. I fought back after a point and slapped her. I had a black eye, bite marks, injuries to my balls from her pulling them in the assault. She prevented me from escaping the conflict by stopping me from leaving our apartment. She then left, went to a police station, said I beat and raped her, and I was thrown in jail for two months. They were telling me I was facing ten years. I eventually plead out to slapping her, she was never charged, I got two years of heavy probation, and lost my right to own a fire arm.
The conflict started when I told her that her mom and I were going to have an intervention for her drug abuse.”
27. At around 3AM I wake up to find her on top of me trying to get my pants and underwear off.
“I invited one of my friends to come down and stay at my place for a couple days. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend and said ‘all men suck,’ so I thought to try and cheer her up. I was probably giving off misleading signals because during the course of dinner she starts coming on to me.
We go back to my place, put on a movie, and start drinking and at this point is when things start to take a turn for the worse. She initiates making out with me on the couch and while I reciprocated initially I pulled her off of me and reiterated that this was a bad idea. Somewhat defeated, she asks if it would still be okay if we slept in the same bed (her under covers, me on top of them) because the only furniture she could sleep on was neither comfortable nor sanitary. While I’m trying to get ready for bed she continues stating that she finds me attractive and wants to take it to the next step while I continuously shoot her down. Eventually we proceed to go to my room to fall asleep and I’m relieved because I think the night is over.
At around 3AM I wake up to find her on top of me trying to get my pants and underwear off. I naturally freak out and am mortified that my friend basically tried to rape me in my sleep. I quickly push her off of me and I proceed to take a blanked and pillow with to the living room and try to fall asleep in there. After about twenty minutes my friend exits my room and proceeds to berate me for being mean, disrespectful, and for leaving her alone in my bedroom. I don’t know how she did it but she convinced me to go back into the room with her and then I “slept” until the following morning.
When she awoke that morning she laughed off the previous night saying we had both drank too much and things got “a little crazy”. After we had breakfast and I sent her on her way, I got a follow up text message asking if she was inappropriate and I responded with a resounding yes. She then asked, “how do you think that makes me feel” and I don’t remember if I responded.
Since that event I’ve had crippling intimacy issues and honestly don’t respond well to physical contact. I need to know you extraordinarily well for me to not flinch/seize up when being touched, hugged, or kissed. I genuinely don’t trust it.
TLDR: Sexually assaulted in my own apartment. Shit sucked.”
28. Most of it just being beat into submission daily.
“When I was watched by a teenage girl, she had a friend over who would stand outside the closet door keeping guard, while the babysitter would kiss and touch me places. Not sure why I just sat there and never did or said anything but I was so young I barely remember it. So don’t believe that a girl babysitter is better than some boy watching kids.
There was other abuse but most of it just being beat into submission daily or whenever I pissed someone off who also thought beating on kids everyday would make them strong. So there was some mental gymnastics but not much sexual stuff.”
29. I wake up covered in her vomit, with her trying to rouse me for more sex, she is EXCEEDINGLY drunk.
“I was in my early 20’s and living with my g/f at the time, now wife. Things were NOT going well, she wasn’t working and was depressing, gaining massive amounts of weight, taking out her negative feelings on me and withholding affection. I do not blame her IN THE LEAST for what I am about to share, just, letting you know what contributed to my state of mind.
one night I get a phone call from a girl I used to work with who I always had a crush on, but never did anything with, and got with my g/f shortly thereafter anyway so stopped trying. she says her and a couple friends are having a pool party and asks me to come over. I ask my g/f, she doesn’t want to go but doesn’t mind if I do, so, I go.
we are drinking, since I drove I only have a couple drinks (I have SUPER high alcohol tolerance) to ensure I’m not drunk when going home….but things get EXTREMELY fuzzy/blurry very fast. literally one moment I’m talking to her by the pool, the next she is straddling me against the wall of the pool kissing me.
The next thing I know (I later found out she and 2 other people drug me inside the house) I am laying down naked in a hallway getting a blowjob from her, then soon after she is on top of me and we’re having sex. THANK GOD someone put a condom on me first (how fucking considerate, right?), but I am in and out of consciousness. I wake up covered in her vomit, with her trying to rouse me for more sex, she is EXCEEDINGLY drunk.
Me, thinking I’ve just been a fucking asshole, carry her to the bathtub, wash her up, dress her and carry her to bed, the whole time she’s proclaiming she loves me and has never cared for anyone the way she does me.
I go home feeling like utter SHIT, not only did I cheat on my girlfriend but this was only the second person I’d ever had sex with, and I was kind of more upset because I wanted my g/f to be the only person I ever had sex with.
I am still impaired as I am driving home and have no idea how I make it there. G/f is asleep when I get home, I stumble into the shower then the next thing I know it’s noon the following day, g/f is at work.
I, still blaming myself for the incident, call the girl from the night before to apologize and make sure she is alright. She won’t answer her phone but sends me a flirty text saying she “owes me a shower ;)” for the vomit episode.
Later a mutual friend would tell me what really happened that night, that I was drugged.
I still haven’t been able to mention any of this to my now-wife and am plagued with horrible guilt to this fucking day, because no matter the circumstances, I cheated. shouldn’t have even let myself get put into that situation but I was so fucking naive….”