16. I think it might have impacted my sexual life in a way.
“I was 18, just started a relationship with a girl. Another girl wasn’t happy about this, she was a bit jealous. Late one night I was coming home from my next-door bar, I was totally wasted. I’m blacking out, she finds me at my front door, wants to come with me inside. I tell her no, I’m not interested in anyway. Blackout. I’m in my bed, she is next to me, I tell her to go home. Wake up she is on top of me, riding, I push her to floor, tell her to go home, wake up again to the same situation, blackout. Wake up in the morning she is leaving. I feel ashamed and angry, can’t really tell anyone, I feel like I cheated my new gf. Years later I talk about this with my friend, he tells me she did the same thing to him around the same time. I think it might have impacted my sexual life in a way, I’m not into one-night stands at all, nor do I have sex when drunk. Never saw the girl again.”
17. I was basically raped. Sexually assaulted at the very least.
“College girlfriend and her best friend decided to ‘swap’ boyfriends. The other guy and I were unaware of this. We were all supposed to go to a department Halloween party, when I showed up I just saw the best friend. Apparently my girlfriend was sick and her boyfriend had to finish a project on campus. He actually did have to finish a project, but my girlfriend went there to seduce him. I however said “Boo.” and got no response when I tried calling the girlfriend to check on her.
The best friend kept bringing me drinks. I blacked out. She apparently told everyone there she was going to drive me back to my apartment. She did so in my car. I came to with her on top of me in my bed, we were both naked. I wasn’t hard, and she kept alternating between grinding on me and blowing me to get me hard, while I kept asking what was happening, what she was doing, etc.
Eventually she stopped and got mad at me as I fell asleep. I wake up to her shaking me asking for a ride home. She tells me about the ‘swap’ plan and how it was a great idea since she liked me and my girlfriend liked her boyfriend. I thought it was a terrible idea and feeling guilty, I called my girlfriend to break up with her.
A week later she and the dude got together, and I found out that she had succeeded in seducing him the night of the party. Shitty people all around.
It wasn’t until a couple years ago, when discussing bad/weird breakups, someone pointed out I was basically raped. Sexually assaulted at the very least. It was a sobering thought. The only time I’ve been grateful for whiskey dick.”
18. I’ve been left with years of mental abuse, physical abuse and a whole host of mental health problems and scars, but I’m still alive.
“We started going out when I was around 15 or 16. Started out as any high school relationship and it wasn’t anything serious, from the get-go she was a spoiled bitch who used to do anything to get her way. Was raised by her mother and granddad. He was an absolute dickhead and didn’t get on with anyone but idolized his granddaughter. Her mother is literally the definition of psychopath. Such a bitter, twisted woman whose entire family disowned her for being an evil, twisted woman. Anyway. It started with a slow build up, pinching to begin with using her fingernails, I shrugged it off because I’m 6’2 and play ice hockey. No big deal. She’d blackmail me for everything. Make me run around after her like a slave. Used sex as a weapon (I’m a diagnosed satyromaniac—So she knew this would get at me most effectively) and gradually started to get more heavy handed. Slapping, punching, scratching.
After a couple of years, she lied about being on birth control and got pregnant. I was pretty much an alcoholic at this point, taking drugs etc. She was very, very clever with her abuse. Isolating me from my entire family and friends, but not making it obvious in the slightest. Stopped me talking to a friend I had who lived in another country because she was also female. Ghosted her, sent her abusive messages from my accounts, phone pretending they were from myself. She miscarried and got pregnant again not long after (Satyromania & Drink & Drugs doesn’t leave someone using common sense) and had the kid. I was doing everything with the kid while barely functioning. I’d get abuse from her whole family for not working despite looking after a newborn and being an alcoholic, while cooking meals for her and her entire family every night. The abuse got worse. She hit me in the face with a big, heavy hardback book one day and burst my lip open to the point my blood dripped down my face all over my kid, and I had to change his clothes. This happened in front of her mother, who didn’t say anything.
I was sick of crying myself to sleep every night in a numb stupor—made plans to kill myself. Couldn’t forget the woman who my ‘wonderful’ girlfriend ghosted and sent abuse to. I messaged her one night after a couple bottles of Jack. She replied, I told her I was gonna come see her to explain myself.
I actually had made plans to drive down, speak to this lady and explain what happened and once I’d left, I was gonna kill myself so nobody I knew had to clean up the corpse (being in a different country)
I used my last 50 cash for fuel, drove to this other country and met up with this woman. There was a spark, she saved my life. She leant me some money, I drove back ‘home’ and got my grandmother to help me. (My grandmother raised me, not on good terms with my own mom and no dad) and she helped me leave. I tried to keep things civil so I could still see my child. Ex wasn’t having any of this so cut contact.
She might have been abusive to me, but she was a good mother and I can’t fault her for that. But as a partner, she studied psychology and was hands down the smartest, most evil person I’ve ever met.
My story doesn’t end there, I guess. Remember the woman I drove to see? We got married last Saturday. I haven’t seen my ex in over 2 years now.
Oh, she also tried to run me over twice in a car. But that’s another story. I’ve been left with years of mental abuse, physical abuse and a whole host of mental health problems and scars, but I’m still alive. I don’t think ill ever be truly fixed though.
The hardest thing is telling people what goes on. You look ridiculous when you’re a big, muscular tattooed dude getting beat up by a much smaller woman who wears a sweet smile in public. Someone, somewhere out there will take you seriously and will get you the help. You just need to reach out to the right person.
If you’re on the fence about leaving because the abuse “isn’t that bad” or “she didn’t mean it” or “She says she’s gonna change” fucking get out of that situation immediately. Please don’t turn out like I did. Your future partner will be forever grateful. My wife still sometimes has to calm me down at night when I wake up with nightmares. I still flinch occasionally too, which makes things awkward in public. I’ve lost count of the amount of times she’s had to console me as I sob my heart out. Please, get help.”
19. Ex-girlfriend’s mom felt me up, made out with me, grabbed at my dick while I was asleep.
“Ex-girlfriend’s mom felt me up, made out with me, grabbed at my dick while I was asleep.
No one cares, people blamed me, laughed it off. I don’t tell anyone now. Even when the narrative goes that all men are aggressors, and all women are victims. I just shut up.
20. She punched in the face as hard as she could 3 or 4 times.
“We were both 19, she told me she loved me and I couldn’t say it back so she punched in the face as hard as she could 3 or 4 times. She calmed down after that and was really drunk. I broke up with her a month or two later to go to uni.
Didn’t do anything about it, you’re taught that as a bloke you should laugh these things off, when in reality you shouldn’t be subjected to it!”
21. I remember her getting really rough and violent with me.
“Dated a woman when I was sixteen. Preface—this woman basically admitted to being a ‘nymphomaniac’ and ‘couldn’t say no’. No, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I was a stupid kid, and I regret it every day. We ended up going out to a mall or something (I don’t really remember, why will be obvious) and we ended up having dinner. I had gone off to use the bathroom and came back, and we finished up and started off to drop me off at home. On the way I started feeling really shitty and tired, and I thought since it was super-late I was just exhausted.
Woke up I have no idea how long later with the woman on top of me, her friend pleasuring herself and holding me down. Riding the hell out of me. I was sixteen, and I knew something about it wasn’t right. I don’t remember a lot, but I remember her getting really rough and violent with me. Eventually she was done and so was her friend, and they drove me home and dropped me off like it wasn’t shit.
Nobody would believe me. Nobody. Told my parents, they just called me a liar. I don’t have and didn’t have a very good relationship with them, so it isn’t a great surprise. I tried to go to the police and they just laughed at me. Shitty-ass small town cops giving about negative fucks.
I ended up calling her (she lived about three hours away) and telling her I was going to go to the cops for serious. She actually threatened me, a sixteen year old, of going to the cops and saying I raped her, a thirty-five year old woman. Being a stupid kid and being scared as hell I shut up, but it was very much over between us. I never heard from her again.
I recently found out she had gotten married, and actually blackmailed her “husband” into marrying her by saying he had raped me; this was serious, since he was (maybe still is) a schoolteacher.
This is why I can’t even look at women without feeling sick. Anyone touching me even sets off a panic attack, especially my wrists.
TL;DR: Got drugged and raped by a thirty-five year old woman when I was sixteen, threatened with being accused of rape.”