1. I walk into the bar and there are 80-plus middle-aged women going mental.
“On my first time around I almost got the shit knocked out of me. Me and my friend were asked to do some kissograms (stripping to your boxers) on the weekends. He started first so one weekend I had to travel around to watch him and another girl do some gigs. We bought some Hennessy and got fucked as we had a driver and when it came to the last gig my mate couldn’t walk and I was just a little bit better off. I said I would do it despite not having any tan on, I’m Irish and deeply white. The routine involved dressing as a priest, saying a god awful poem and the cliche rip off pants. As I’m changing into the outfit in the back seat the girl suggested I wear her thong so I threw it on. Got to the location, it’s a very rural and backwards town and about 8 in the evening. I walk into the bar and there are 80-plus middle-aged women going mental, I’m given a mic and go straight into the awful poem. I take off the my top and the DJ plays ‘Gimme More’ by Britney, I get a good reaction and dance around for a bit. But as I rip off my pants the reaction definitely changes due to my creased cock slipping out from the electric pink thong. Meanwhile, my friend managed to recover in the car so he and the girl charged in and stripped off as well which saved the day, we danced around for a while, it was great and they got 3 strippers for the price of one. I decided to back out to the car in my thong for the shits and giggles, we go out onto the street there’s a group of middle-aged men smoking outside. The place is not known for its open-mindedness and as I say ‘hello boys,’ three of the angry fucks chase me down the street. I got into the car safely and the others got in eventually too, the raging men went back to smoking. Also, when I gave the tong back to the girl in the car she started wailing crying and shouting that she wanted to go home while putting it back on. We were at max 20 minutes away and she insisted we pull over, she cried on the side of the road and this obviously delayed her from getting home. We got her home eventually, she was pissed but always a very strange person. Great night, though.”
2. The bride-to-be rips my boxers down and just starts kissing my dick.
“Not a professional stripper but was requested to be one at a friend’s bachelorette party by my former roommates friend/acquaintance of mine who has a few female friends that think I’m hot. It was hosted in a Red Roof Inn. I know—classy, right? Anyways the girl getting married and her friends are already a bit tipsy and yelled at me to strip for them. Music playing and I’m dancing and taking off my clothes and then the bride-to-be rips my boxers down and just starts kissing my dick. I kept trying to push her off but she kept brushing my hands off and honestly I wasn’t really trying to get her off me because it felt good and I was a bit tipsy myself. So then the kissing obviously makes me go into salute mode and she starts sucking on it and by then I stopped dancing and was enjoying it. The girls were laughing and just randomly yelling telling me to basically beat the guts up in front of them like we’re in a porno. I basically pussied out because I didn’t feel right doing that and apologized about it. I left the motel and drove home and rubbed one out. I never spoke to the the bride or seen her again after that night but I know she married the guy according to her rtscebook.”
3. I ended up banging the maid of honor and the bride.
“I worked in a gay club. However, girls would always come in, especially during the summer since that was bachelorette party season. Our club had very specific rules about talking to women since the majority of the dancers are straight (well, $20 is $20).
It was a slow Sunday night in June. I had only been working there for a couple months. This big group of girls come in and just start tipping a bunch. They said they all wanted to get lap dances. At the club, we are not allowed to give lap dances to girls. Too many guys got caught slipping a finger in or something. I told them that I couldn’t do it here but I was available after my shift. Turns out, they rented a suite at a hotel near the club and gave me their number to go do a private show when I was off.
I show up to the hotel room and start doing the lap dance thing. Shit got all hot like one of those Dancin Bear videos. I ended up banging the maid of honor in front of everyone. That was pretty cool. But then I banged the bride in front of everyone. She wasn’t even attractive, I just did it to cross it off the list. To make matters even better, they were sisters. Oh and they paid me $300 for the private show.
Oh, and the worst thing about it was the bride found me on Facebook two weeks after she got married. She sent em a message thanking me for doing the show and she wishes she was ‘more sober to remember, but we can always do it again soon.’ Um, no thanks.”
4. I’m standing there naked and 4-5 hot chicks who themselves are either married or engaged are taking turns sucking my cock.
“Being a professional bodybuilder I am constantly asked to strip at bachelorette parties for young, hot women. I only do it if they can guarantee all the attending chicks will be hot and that I can get the rate that I want. And it always ends the same way that you’d expect. I’m standing there naked and 4-5 hot chicks who themselves are either married or engaged are taking turns sucking my cock.”
5. She farts directly into my penis shaft.
“For these gigs it’s normal to get aroused. The one lady I was dancing for, the bachelorette, started sucking my dick. This isn’t unusual. Her friend though pulls her off and before I know it her friend lands her asshole onto my dick. I start fucking, all is correct with the universe. Then….it happens. She farts directly into my penis shaft. The pain in my bladder was so intense I threw up and shat at the same time. The very drunk girls at the party began beating me calling me a sicko. Thankfully one of the more sober ones called an ambulance. I was on antibiotics for 3 weeks. Never again.”
6. A woman got a black eye after being hit by ‘helicopter dick.’
“Helicopter dick: a college friend told she went to a bachelorette party where they the bride-to-be was drunkenly coerced to get on her knees in front of a stripper while he did his spinny thingy. No bj or touching, just spin-o-rama.
Apparently she misjudged the distance when she turned to smile for someone’s iPhone and got hit right in the eye, and broke a few capillaries in the process.
Apparently walking down the aisle with a black eye is not as bad as it seems.”
7. He would catheterize himself and fill his bladder with wine, then urinate it into the women’s glasses.
“I’m a nursing student and my instructor told me of a patient she had who came in with a UTI. He was a male stripper, and his thing was to cath himself and fill his bladder with wine, then urinate it into the women’s glasses.”
8. He was a midget male stripper. He was very, very short but had muscles and abs for days.
“Not a stripper but my aunt got re-married about 13 years ago but the memory everyone in my family will never forget is the stripper. He was a midget male stripper. He was very, very short but had muscles and abs for days. He would do back flips off tables, climb walls with his ass and could dance to any song that played. The best part was when my very shy mom was alone in the corner and he ran up to her and did a handstand while shaking his ass in her face. He must have made a truck load of money that night. All the girls loved him and he was so nice.”
9. I shot my wad and pissed on 40 naked women.
“Okay, here goes. Got a request for, what I thought was, a bachelorette party. She asked what my rates were, I told her, she said this would not be a normal party, but didn’t want to go into further detail. I told her my rules, and she said that was fine, there would be no sex and so long as I would do what they asked she’d pay me a solid $2.5k. Of course I was curious, but thats a load of cash, so I went with it. Figured if it was too dangerous I’d just leave and I still have half (I required her to pay half up front since it was so much).
I show up and it seems pretty standard. McMansion in the middle of a high end suburb, bunch of Mercedes, a few BMW, an Aston Martin, couple of Land Rovers, and a Gallardo parked outside. I ring the doorbell, am greeted by the planner and she takes me to a room down the east wing. She points to a room exactly opposite and says when I am ready, to go in there. The interior of the house and my prepping room is normal. Lots of art, vases, a huge chandelier right when you walk in, etc. etc.
Before leaving the planner asks me to strip to the nude to verify that the pictures I sent her are not shopped. I do as requested (pretty common, although usually the planner just wants a peek on her own), but this one seemed less of a ‘wants her own peek’ and more of a ‘yeah, you’ll do nicely’ sort of vibe.
I get ready. They requested all black leather, common for gay men, not for white women. I’ve actually got something special in store. The skin-tight leather vest and pants I am wearing are an older set I have that are in need of some conditioning. So instead I made shallow cuts on the insides so that instead of slowly taking them off later I can rip them off for this group. I work myself ‘up,’ put on a cock ring, squeeze into my leather and head across the hall. I notice that it’s pretty cold as I approach the door, but figure it’s just me.
I open the door to the room and am greeted by a black curtain. I close the door behind me and walk through the curtain. I am on a small stage and it is FUCKING COLD. I notice fog on the floor, but see no fog machine. There are about 40 women in the room all wearing heavy robes from head to toe. I realize that this place has to have a refrigeration unit or something. I walk along the stage/catwalk to a round center stage in the middle of the room with all of the women surrounding me in their high backed chairs. I notice that everything is black. Not black because it’s dark, black because the walls and the ceiling are painted black. The flooring is blood red as are all of the lights.
I start to say ‘Well hello everyone, who is the star tonight?’ When I am interrupted by music and a voice over the speakers that just says ‘You may begin.’ So I start, I’m doing my thing, after a bit the women have gotten up and are crowding the stage. The music is loud, but I can tell there is no yelling, whistling, etc with this crowd. They are all just reaching for me on the stage as I work my way around them, I caress, tug on their hair, plant a little kiss on hands and cheeks now and then. Just doing my thing. I start to see a few have begun to shed their robes, I see bare shoulders, the tops of breasts, then bare chests and finally nudity. Every single one of them is nude in this cold dark room. I see that some no longer reach for me on the stage but now have their hands on other women or themselves.
A little time goes by then I see the planner, who was front and center for the entire performance so far has walked away. Soon everyone has gathered around this large round thing that looks like a mini-stage. The planner opens it and it is filled with sex toys. Each woman reaches in, grabs one and goes to one of two places. Some go back to their chairs, others head to my stage. Sit on the edge and begin to use the toys. I’m still doing my rounds, never got off the stage (tried to, but was gently pushed back to the center). They are touching me, I’m swinging in front of them. The planner has moved her chair to right in front of the stage and has one foot propped up on it while another woman is eating her out. She tells me to stroke my cock. I’m pumped, this is hot, so I do. Women moan, audibly orgasm, it’s great. I am in ‘conquer’ mode and could do them all at the drop of a hat. The planner gets up, walks over and grabs my junk. Pulls me towards her, runs her fingers down it and places a kiss right on the tip. She then gets on her knees (not on the stage, so this isn’t a blow job position) and all the girls around her do the same.
She then says, ‘We want you to cum on us.’
No fucking problem. I could have blown long ago, but I take my time. Stroking slowly, these women are bouncing up and down with each stroke. Most with mouths agape, licking their lips… Time passes and I reach climax. I fire into them and they love it. They kiss each other and share it as they lick it off one another. It’s awesome.
The planner then stands, reaches for my junk again and asks if I have to pee. I’m a little shocked and ask her to repeat herself. She does, and I say ‘Well, yes actually.’ (I almost always have to piss after an orgasm for some reason). She gets back on her knees and says, ‘Whenever you are ready, let it flow.’ About 30 seconds of awkwardness later it flows. I make an attempt to get everyone, their moans are louder than when I came on them.
They writhe in in for a while, I sit and watch as they play with one another and not long after get hard again. The planner sees this and asks me to cum on them again. It takes more work and the assistance of a couple of the women, but it happens. I finish and am exhausted, the planner says I can go get dressed now (all while she is still surrounded by women pleasuring each other and themselves). In my room is a full spread of food, wine, and another $3k in cash on a silver platter, with a note that says ‘Thank you. Please take anything you wish before you leave.’
I shower, eat the most delicious sandwich I’ve ever had, have a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice. And leave. As I walk out the planner is in the hallway, robe half open, thanks me again, plants a hot kiss on my lips and walks me out.
I get an email a week later. The planner apologizes for deceiving me, saying it was a bachelorette party. It was apparently her and her friends annual all girl ‘party.’ And if I’m still in the business she’d like to have me back next year. This was about 4 months ago.”
10. Here’s why you should never mix GHB with champagne.
“When I was young and stupid, I was an ‘adult entertainer.’ We often would get a buzz before dancing to relate to guests and because it was enjoyable. For guys the chemical of choice tends to be GHB or G. It allows you to dance, enjoy yourself, express your sensuality and sexuality without inhibition. All this leads to more money. The one thing you can’t do is mix G with alcohol. Big no-no that can lead to very dangerous situations. One night I had two regulars come in, big money spenders. I sat down with the girls and they offered me champagne so I thought, ‘one tiny flute, what could go wrong?’ Next thing I know I’m in the locker room, head leaning against the locker almost unable to stand. Fuck, I hear Rich the DJ calling my name to head to one of the satellite stages. I am completely shitty, the owner is in the house, and I get a brilliant idea. I don’t have the physical dexterity to strip in this state, so I will take off all my clothing in the locker room and just walk through the crowd. So I did. All eyes were on me, confused. My friends knew I was fucked up, so they thought it was hilarious. I made it to the stage, navigated the flashing, colored steps and got up in position. Wobbly legged and disoriented, I figured the best dance I could give to the 10-12 women was leaning against the mirror, swaying, not falling. That didn’t hold up, I slid to the floor just as the manager P. with one of my buddy’s managed to escort (carry?) me off the stage and back to the locker area…
tldr: Screwed up royally in a show bar and got nekkid.”
11. One guy fell off the stage and broke his leg. He showed up the next weekend in a cast and a G-string and danced.
“I decided to go through an experimental Flashdance period to see if I came up with something new for my ice dancing. The closest gay strip club was 100 miles away.
I guess the more memorable times were when newbies got drunk. One guy fell off the stage and broke his leg. He showed up the next weekend in a cast and a G-string and danced.
Another guy was trying to strip to get through beauty college, but he drank. This club was like something straight out of a John Waters film. One night he was drunk, chased me down and said ‘I’m doing a private lap dance and this guy keeps grabbing my dick.’ I told him to keep the money but stop the private.
It was an interesting experience. Many of the dancers were also escorts. Lots were on coke.”
12. Essentially both of them stood with their cock and balls close to his face where he rubbed them off at the same time seeing who’d win for him..
“I worked door and security at a strip club where men entertained.
Being the closest one to a nation’s capital we’d see a lot of people who wanted their privacy protected and who’d pay for private events.
One such event featured a foreign diplomat who paid a huge sum of money for two of the male strippers to stay and privately perform for him.
After he left the two dancers told me he had them have a race. Essentially both of them stood with their cock and balls close to his face where he rubbed them off at the same time seeing who’d win for him. He had run out of Canadian money at that point and when I explained to them that the Pound was 2X plus our money they felt that the image of an older statesmen flicking his tongue towards their cocks while he stroked them was actually worth the image imbedded into their brain. Dancers both made a killing and the house was given $10,000 Canadian just to allow this guy the club to himself and booze (he had 4 drinks)
The other fucked up things:
This would happen to me frequently; was when the night would be over and women and sometimes men would propose for me to go home with them, while I was a fully clothed baby face bouncer.
And some of the pro tips the dancers would use to make their dicks bigger… those times I experiences will never leave my mind. And just a hint; after working there that I feared injections and blood.”
13. All female crowds are fucking crazy. I’ve been bit, slapped, punched, spanked, spit on.
“My very first show ever was 2 weeks after the first Magic Mike movie was released. It was a private bachelorette party, and everyone wanted the ‘cop routine’ from the movie.
My friend and I were walking down the street dressed as cops to the house of the event. Suddenly, a police cruiser pulled up next to us. They asked us why we were dressed that way. We tried our best to explain that we’re strippers, but they didn’t entirely believe us. We sat on the curb with one officer while the other went to verify our story. He knocked on the door, and the girls there thought he was the entertainment. We heard the girls squealing with joy for about 10 seconds. The officer came out and let us go after spending all of 45 seconds in the house.
Some of our work was at gay clubs. We often shared dressing rooms with the drag queens. 99% of them are super cool, but every once in a while we’d come across a real diva. Our diva was the most ratchet and coked-up person ever. She was a 6’6” black dude who weighed about 150 lbs. and wore 6-inch stilettos. She was naturally bald, but wore blonde Marilyn Monroe wigs and actually stuffed balloons in her bra… They weren’t even covered; she looks exactly as you imagine her.
Anyway, she had serious drug and anger problems, but was really well liked by the local club owners. She’d constantly try to pick fights with the strippers because we’re all straight. One night, one of the other dancers had enough of her shit. He smashed her head into a pool table, punched a hole in a wall, and walked out. Two weeks later the drag queen was found dead. Her killer was only recently discovered after a few years, but it wasn’t the stripper that beat her ass.
No offense, but all female crowds are fucking crazy. I’ve been bit, slapped, punched, spanked, spit on. You name it, and I’ve encountered a woman who’s into it.
I worked a spring break party in a college town on the other side of the state. The crowd was the drunkest group of college girls you’d ever understand to exist. The night started out pretty tame but devolved into some gross shit around midnight. Dudes were banging girls in the bathrooms, people were peeing on the beach, and nobody was even paying attention to the show.
I’ll admit that in my earlier days, I had no problem joining in with the debauchery, but this party was a little too much for me. I drunkenly stumbled back to the hotel and passed out.
I guess this story isn’t too interesting, but it was a point in my career that I remember very distinctly because I decided that day that being a male stripper isn’t really that great.
I’ve since stopped working every weekend. I now perform two revue shows per month for a little fun and side money. I enrolled in school and I’m now an honors student. Thank god for the GI Bill.”