50 Straight Guys Confess The ‘Gayest’ Thing They’ve Ever Done

Flickr / Benjamin Linh VU
Flickr / Benjamin Linh VU
Found on AskReddit.

1. He grabbed my dick and said, ‘Whoops, a fish.’

“I was swimming with my friend in a lake at a crowded beach. He grabbed my dick and said, ‘Whoops, a fish.’ Never asked him why he did it.”


2. Sucked some dicks because my wife wanted to watch me do it.

“Sucked some dicks because my wife wanted to watch me do it. It was fun. 7/10, would suck again.”


3. When I was about 13-14 I had a wet dream that I came inside Al Gore.

“When I was about 13-14 I had a wet dream that I came inside Al Gore. Never been attracted to men, that dream freaked me out for many years.”


4. I fucked myself with a plunger while jacking off, then it caused me to shit.

“I fucked myself with a plunger while jacking off, then it caused me to shit. I’m a guy.”


5. My cousin invented a game called ‘Weiner Wars.’

“My cousin invented a game called ‘Weiner Wars.’ Each player whipped out their dick and got it hard. Then we would proceed to play ‘swords’ with our dicks and the person who stayed hard longest won. I always won.”


6. For a while now my friends and I have been sticking our fingers in each other’s buttholes.

“Well, for a while now my friends and I have been sticking our fingers in each other’s buttholes. Not in a sexual way at all but its like in the anime Naruto. Its more funny and its pretty much like a slap to the face. We’ve gotten so used to it that we’ve started clenching our butt cheeks together whenever we are around each other. But at the end of the day, my fingers have been second knuckle deep in a few different mens assholes.”


7. Swordfight!

“I once decided to fence an opposing male with my Captain Johnson to decide who was truly the best knight in the land.”


8. I started blowing him underwater. I’m a swimmer so I can hold my breath comfortably for more than two minutes.

“Well, we were all outside a bit past 11 pm. We were sitting in these lawn chairs just chilling, talking, the usual when three guys are drunk. Then someone had the idea of what it’d feel like being in hot tub while drunk, so we all got up and walked over. Then someone else said they didn’t have any swim trunks so what would they do?

Either I or my other friend responded with, ‘Who the hell cares? Just strip down.’ Being drunk, that sounded fine and then once one person did, the other two got naked in the hot tub also. We were fine for a while, still talking, but then I started to eye one of my friends a bit. I’m not gonna lie, for his height and build, he had a way bigger dick than I would’ve expected.

Somehow we all started talking about our sexual experiences, and then he (my friend with the big dick) remarked how he was getting turned on. I slid over next to him and started jerking him off, and then eventually started blowing him underwater. I’m a swimmer so I can hold my breath comfortably for more than two minutes. Things progressed to where I was switching off between them. Then someone figured out that this was weird and stopped. We all got out and began trying to find our clothes, for some reason they weren’t just on the ground. We were moving the drinks into the garage, all still naked, and my friend was walking toward me. I stopped him, crouched down, and blew him some more. I kind of gripped his ass a bit I think and pulled him closer. Then we got dressed, played a couple rounds of poker, and then we passed out. We all sort of woke up at the same time, I made breakfast, and no one mentioned it or even acknowledged it. I’ve never really talked about it to anyone. But I guess anonymously putting on the internet for the world to see kind of breaks that barrier.”


9. From personal experience, joining the Marine Corps is about the gayest thing you could possibly do.

“From personal experience, joining the Marine Corps is about the gayest thing you could possibly do.”


10. The weirdest experience of my life was realizing that I definitely wasn’t into dudes when one was inside of me.

“I was 19 and bicurious. Found a guy on Craigslist, we met up at a sleazy motel. The weirdest experience of my life was realizing that I definitely wasn’t into dudes when one was inside of me. He was also MUCH larger than me and he paid for the hotel room, so I felt like I had to let him finish. Not my proudest hour.”


11. I wore an ‘It’s my birthday, touch my cock’ T-shirt at a gay bar.

“I seriously doubt anyone will really believe this, but this is my true gay experience as a straight man…back story, purchased my first house which had very terrible rooster wallpaper. Shortly after my friends threw a surprise birthday party for me. For party they made everyone rooster shirts. Mine had a picture of a rooster on the very lower front and over the chest area it said ‘It’s my birthday, touch my cock.’ Flash-forward about a year. I’m studying with some friends for a grad school class. After studying, we head out for a beer to the local gay club because it was near their house and it was supposedly ‘straight night.’ My friends, one of which was gay, assured me I would be OK. We got there, had a beer, and then danced. Which is completely ridiculous, because I hate dancing. After a bit I take my long-sleeve shirt off because I was hot from the dancing. I had totally forgot that I was wearing my birthday cock shirt. Remembered right after my friends introduced me to her gay friend. He faked the handshake and went right for the prize. I tried to give him the paint the fence move, but it was too late. I definitely deserved it.”


12. I baked a cake and watched RENT with my male roommate.

“In college, I found out my roommate had never seen RENT (the movie version of the Broadway musical). I told him that needed to change, so that night I baked a cake and we ate it while watching RENT together. 10/10, would do again.”


13. I once blew coke up my straight friend’s ass with a straw.

“I once blew coke up my straight friend’s ass with a straw. Didn’t work as well as he hoped and I felt very depressed once I sobered up the next day.”


14. I absolutely love cocks—however, only on a feminine form; males do absolutely nothing for me.

“These stories may disqualify me from the ‘straight guys’ aspect of the post to some, but I personally think it fits here.

First off, let me preface these stories with the fact that I absolutely love cocks—however, only on a feminine form; males do absolutely nothing for me. I’ve been this way since I was a teen (I’m in my late twenties now). I am currently happily engaged to my fiancee of two years and she does not and probably will not ever know about this.

I have a few more stories than these two, but they’re pretty similar so I wont go too far into detail.

Anyway, onto the first story. This was when I was around 20-21. Around that time, I had started signing up for several very ‘specific’ dating sites. Basically, sites for men looking for transgendered individuals. Ended up messaging someone on there and we hit it off pretty quickly and decided to meet up. She was about 16 years older than I was, but nothing was going to stop me. I ended up driving about an hour and a half to meet her halfway to her house and the two of us decided to head over to a secluded dock that she knew of in the area. Once we arrived, things started getting pretty sensual very quickly. I pulled a blanket out of the back of my car and laid it down on the dock and, after a lot of heavy petting, she ended up inside of me, wrapped her arms around my waist, and eventually finished inside of me. This went on for almost a year, and I was constantly going over to her house to let her have her way with me.

Second story. This was when I was about 21-22. Same situation, however this time I was truly interested in ‘dating’ and not just casual sex. Anyway, after talking for almost a week, we decided that we should meet in person and go on a real date. I ended up picking her up at her house and we went to the closest mall to grab some food and just kind of get to know each other. Eventually we both decided that a movie would be really fun and there was one she way dying to see. We get out tickets and pick out seats in the top right of the theater, not all the way at the top but a little more than halfway back. It became quickly clear that we were far more interested in each other than the movie. After grabbing and stroking at each other, she places her jacket over her lap and I get underneath the jacket and proceed to give her a blowjob for almost half of the movie, loving every second of it. Eventually, the two of us decide to find somewhere a ‘little’ more private. So we both end up in a stall of the women’s bathroom (Yes, kinda gross, I know), with me on my knees, sucking her off until she finishes.”

Would I do it again? Absolutely, but I’ve pretty much accepted that this part of my life is in the past now.”


15. I bought myself a dildo for anal play and now it’s the only way I masturbate.

“I bought myself a dildo for anal play and now it’s the only way I masturbate. I still watch straight porn but I love that dick in my ass while I do it.”


16. My first year of college I went full gay for like 6 months.

“My first year of college I went full gay for like 6 months. I was totally out of my depth my first year and had too much pride to ask my parents for help. Did coke and weed for the first and last times. ran out of money and food after my first 3 months. My hygiene was terrible; hair looked crazy. I wouldn’t want to be associated with me at the time. A gay guy befriended me and helped me out with food and friendship. One day he offered me a blowjob and then it escalated from there. Never let him fuck me but I did the other shit (literally I got shit dick every time). Then one day I looked at myself in the mirror and was disgusted by what I saw. It wasn’t me and I needed to get out of there. I broke it off and ran my ass back to my hometown and have been trying to bury that year ever since. Been with my lady for 5 years now and got my shit together. I think back to those days sometimes and shudder. Worst year of my life.”


17. I’ve been railed by two T-girls and it wasn’t so bad.

“All right, so I consider myself straight. I don’t like cock and have no interest in touching it or doing anything else with someone else’s cock. Not in any way sexually attracted to another man.

I’m a very sexual person. Wouldn’t say sex addict, but I get very distracted. I’m a young professional in my 20s.

I’ve had sex with, I think, 52 women. I’ve had sex with three T-girls. First was when I was blacked out in Thailand and I got ‘surprised’ after picking up a woman at a bar who, well, she was packing three inches of Asian heat. I was so drunk I was like whatever, and put a condom on turned her around and went to town. Dry, no lube. What a champ.

The last two times were more recent in the last month. I’ve had a little more free time than normal and my mind has wandered off. I’ve used CL for swinging encounters and met with couples off there in hot wife or MFM situations. I only play with the women, again not interested in men.

But recently me and a gal pal got more kinky, trying bondage and we ventured into anal. We bought a few butt plugs and we’ve both used them on each other. It feels pretty good once you get comfortable and relaxed I have to be honest.

So that led me jumping on CL and looking at the T-girl ads. I would say 95% of them are horrible looking, but there was one girl who had an honest ad up just looking for a cool guy to hang with. So, nervous as HELL I show up to her hotel and she sucks me off, I fuck her, and then she fucked me. It hurt like hell initially, but it felt so good eventually…until I had a trace of poo then we stopped doing that and I continued doing my thing to her. She was pretty good looking, looked very feminine and had the realest boob job I’ve ever felt (literally couldn’t tell they weren’t natural DD) and had a big, curvy booty.

The more recent encounter was another lady, she actually ended up telling me she’s a prostitute and SHE was the one who was nervous because she said she’s never hooked up with someone without it being a paid situation. We watched TV for a bit just for both of us to relax. It was an enjoyable situation, it hurt a lot less for me and we had sex for 30 minutes or so. Again, poo problem on my end (not anything crazy, just like ‘oh, maybe you should take a break’) kind of thing.

In those three encounters I didn’t touch their tools at all. No desire to doing that and they were all cool with that.

It’s interesting, it’s exciting and at the same time a feeling of ‘I can’t believe I have done this,’ especially when I meet up with my guy or girl friends at the bar the same night. Actually, the second encounter I had, I went clubbing that same night, met a gorgeous girl and was hooking up with her all night, fingering her on the dance floor and we’re planning to meet up. Normal weekend nights, I’ll go out and meet girls and do that routine. Exchange numbers, flirt, etc.

But there’s my secret. I’ve been railed by two T-girls and it wasn’t so bad.”


18. I kissed his beautiful bearded face.

“Close friend was dumped by his then fiancee, which in turn led to a night out of heavy drinking. I remember saying something along the lines of ‘I don’t know why she’d leave, but I’d kiss your beautiful bearded face.’ After hearing ‘so do it then’ from nearby, I did. Someone bought us a round later because we ‘made a cute couple.’ I’m guessing it was the ‘so do it’ person.


19. The time I ended up taking photos of a gay, amphetamined-up, Hitlerish-looking guy in Austria.

“The time I ended up taking photos of a gay, amphetamined-up, Hitlerish-looking guy, wearing just a string vest and some weird hot pants, the morning after some random house party I ended up at after an interesting hitch-hiking journey in Austria!”


20. We spooned all night long and it was the best I’ve ever felt next to someone.

“I was Internet friends with this guy who lived across the ocean. This guy had a huge crush on me and I teased him a bit (shirtless pics, etc.), but also made it very clear I could never feel the same way. This went on for years. And along the way, he became a she (went trans). I’m pretty sure I was a big part of the reason that happened.

In the meantime I had gotten a travel job and was flying all over the world. One day I found out I’d be flying to his her city, and we decided to hang out for a week. It was an amazing week and we were both having a great time. Long story short, I fell for her hard.

She had a ridiculously tiny apartment (the bedroom and kitchen were basically the same thing) and only one bed, so of course we were sleeping together. But not together…until she rolled onto me in the middle of the night when she thought I was asleep. I pretended I was, and enjoyed every second of it.

The next night (the second to last night I was there) I told her I wanted to be close to her and asked to share her blanket. We spooned all night long and it was the best I’ve ever felt next to someone. That morning we woke up and pretended it never happened.

The next night at 3am when we went to bed, I of course wanted more, but she said it was weird and awkward so I stopped, and basically curled up in a ball on the other side of the bed. Turns out the previous night she wasn’t into it either and only let it happen because she was afraid of telling me no. And the night before that, she was honestly just rolling around in her sleep and had no idea what happened. I called a taxi at 4am to catch my flight out and left depressed and with no closure.
I tried to stay friends, but she won’t talk to me anymore. I thought I was giving her everything she ever wanted, but instead I ruined a great week and lost a friend. I’m still not sure how I feel about everything.
Sorry if you wanted a happy ending. I did, too.”


21. Having the best climax to gay porn.

“Having the best climax to gay porn.”


22. Before I knew it, he was pretending to ‘tickle’ my private parts. When it was his turn, I did the same thing he was doing to me, kind of like a game of Simon Says.

“I had a friend in high school that was as competitive as I was. We used to compete and make a game out of everything. Our favorite was ‘Distracted Mario Kart.’ Basically, we picked an object and tried to use it to distract the other person while they play a race on Mario Kart. Whoever went the farthest or finished the quickest won. Sometimes we would make loud noises, sometimes shoot Nerf guns at the racer, sometimes punch them with a boxing glove.

One day, we were both pretty drunk and started playing. It was an anything-goes race, so while I was racing he started tickling me. When it was his turn, I tickled him as well, and it went on like this for another turn. When it was his turn to tickle me again, I laughed and told him I was immune to his tickles and would win. He took this as a challenge, and tried to find new places to tickle me, places where neither of had gone before. He reached between my legs and tickled the inside part of my thighs. At first, this felt really weird because I’d never had a guy, you know, get so close to my privates before. But I told myself it was just a part of the game and dismissed it. This kind of went on for a while, and before I knew it, he was pretending to ‘tickle’ my private parts. When it was his turn, I did the same thing he was doing to me, kind of like a game of Simon Says. It was around that time that I realized that we were basically jerking each other off while playing our game, but it wasn’t overly weird to me for whatever reason.

We played like that for probably an hour or so and passed out. We never spoke about that night and we never played Distraction Mario Kart after that; neither of us ever brought it up to play when we were hanging out. This was 10 years ago, and we were both 15-16. We never talked about it again and are still friends in a completely straight way.”


23. There was a period in my life when I really wanted to try sucking a dick.

“So back when I was living in a different country, there was a period in my life when I really wanted to try sucking a dick, but at the same time, I didn’t feel attracted to men. I’ve always been attracted to women, and always will be, but I just needed to suck a dick to get it off my head, so naturally, I went for a transsexual sex worker so that I could suck off someone who at least looked like a woman.

I found the perfect one, like, it was impossible to tell she was a guy, and also looked like Rihanna (never been that into Rihanna, but she’s a celebrity and not bad looking either, so w/e).

So we took a cab back to his/her place… I touched his/her dick a bit on the way… I remember how excited about it about it I was. As soon as we get there, I go straight for what I came for and sucked the shit out of his/her dick… Turns out it was nothing special after all, and he/she wasn’t that big, when I was looking forward to a big throbbing cock. He/she made me stop a few times cause I was using my teeth too much, which is understandable, since I had never done it before and had no idea how to do it properly. In the end I just ended up fucking her in the ass while he/she wanked until we both came. I only had $100 US dollars and he/she didn’t have any change. This was more money than she initially asked for, so I had him/her buy me McBreakfast and pay for my cab back home.
5/10, would not do again, however, I don’t regret doing it.”


24. I spun around and pissed all over his shirt.

“So I was out with a friend of mine who’s gay and some of his gay friends and we went to a gay club. It was awesome because all these guys were buying me drinks but not with the intention of getting me drunk and taking advantage because, I quote, ‘You dress like a straight guy.’ So they were all just being nice really.

My friend’s gay friend was a real slut and the whole night he was proudly proclaiming that he was going to turn me. Let’s call him JimBob. He would do stuff like brush up against me and slap my bum because I’m pretty comfortable with my sexuality so I just laughed it off.

At one point I had to go to the toilet. This is where shit got real.

I used the urinal because I’m a huge dumbass. So I’m standing there writing my name in pee as you do and I hear a voice directly behind me say something like ‘There’s nowhere to run now’ in a really like rapey-type voice. It’s JimBob and he’s pulling his junk out. Keep in mind I was mid-pee and had to defuse the situation quickly. There was only one thing I could do.

I spun around and pissed all over his shirt.

Like a fireman dousing a bushfire, I attacked JimBob with every mighty strain of my urethra. The poor guy was shrieking like the witch from The Wizard of Oz when she had water poured on her…except pee, not water. At one point he ran into one of the stalls, obviously distraught. I zipped up and bounced the fuck outta there.”


25. I grab his dick and decide, nope. Nope nope nope.

“This was when I was in high school, I was figuring out if I was gay or not. Even had a ‘guy friend.’ So we had a sleepover with other friends, except a female friend stayed in the same room as us. Yet we both slept in the same bed. Cuddling, I got hard and started grinding. Theeeeen I reach around to go under the pants on him, I grab his dick and decide, nope. Nope nope nope. Surely it was awkward, but… That’s what happened. Blue-balled each other, and everything.”


26. Wow, that’s it…I’m gay now.

“I skipped a review day for one of my classes and went to go get drunk with my friend at her house. She invites her boyfriend, his friends, and their girlfriends for a small pool BBQ. They all declined to drink because they had something to do but were playing spin the bottle with one of my beer bottles.

In the most fucked-up events possible I was roped in to play a sort of swingers spin the bottle. I kept saying no I shouldn’t, but I was drunk and didn’t want to be a downer. I made out with these dudes’ girlfriends in front of them and they just high-fived me and shit. When one dude landed on me he actually pop-kissed me. I kinda lost the wind in my lungs ‘Wow, that’s it…I’m gay now.’

Then I stopped playing and just went home.”


27. I consider myself 100% straight; I just like things in my butt.

“Browsing through Tinder and I matched with a strikingly different looking chick. Right out the gate they told me they were Trans. I was like, ‘why the fuck not’ and after a short convo I headed to theirs. I let them eat, finger and fuck my never-before-touched ass. Physically, I would be down to do that every day. Mentally, not even close. I consider myself 100% straight; I just like things in my butt.”


28. Jerking off and climaxing when the video switched to a close up of the guy’s face.

“Jerking off and climaxing when the video switched to a close up of the guy’s face.”


29. When I was 8, I asked a friend to suck on my feet.

“When I was 8, I asked a friend to suck on my feet. Not sexual or anything, but I just thought it would feel good, which it did very much. Then his mom found us, and it was kind of awkward. He and I ended up being totally straight, and we never spoke of the incident since.”


30. Jujitsu fantasies.

“When you spar in jujitsu, one of the common positions to be in (full guard) is a whole lot like missionary sex. There were a few times when I was pushing guys into the mat that I’ve thought, ‘If I were into dudes this would be super-hot.’”


31. I go to quite a few gay bars.

“I go to quite a few gay bars. The mixed drinks taste good, no one is upset if I get a sweet nice-tasting pink drink, the music is better, everyone is way nicer and I get hit on way more. Granted it’s guys hitting on me and I have a girlfriend but it feels good, man.”


32. My wrestling partner tried to reach his hand under my butt and accidentally stuck his thumb in my asshole. And that’s how I lost my virginity.

“I wrestled freshman year of high school. Watching my 40-year-old coaches basically dry hump my 15-year-old teammates in front of everyone on the team. Also once during practice my partner tried to reach his hand under my butt and accidentally stuck his thumb in my asshole. And that’s how I lost my virginity.”


33. Before I could even blink he said, ‘You’re cute when you sleep.’

“My best friend and I had a bromantic relationship. One time he stayed over my house. I shared my bed with anyone that stayed with me because it was massive, you could easily fit three people with no contact.

I woke up the next morning to find him with his head in his hand, staring at me. Before I could even blink he said, ‘You’re cute when you sleep.’

Still ranks as the weirdest and sweetest thing another guy has said to me.”


34. Sometimes you don’t want to be the wet rag when everyone else in the room is bi.

“I’ve sucked dick a few times. Sometimes you don’t want to be the wet rag when everyone else in the room is bi.”


35. My best friend and I had both hit puberty and were very horny.

“So my best friend and I had both hit puberty and were very horny, we weren’t popular with girls and after a while it was clear it wasn’t going to happen for a long time. Fast-forward to a few weeks after sex ed where we were taught that it was OK for two guys to have sex with each other, they had also handed out lubricated condoms and so the agreement happened that we would try sticking it into each other. I now know that I happen to like butt stuff but I’m not attracted to guys. Don’t know how he turned out, though,since his family moved away not too long after since his dad got another job.”


36. Me and another dude made out. It was okay.

“We were all playing spin the bottle at a house party and it landed on me. Me and another dude had to make out. It was okay.”


37. Screwed another guy.

“Screwed another guy. But I never came.”


38. He tied me facing the wall and spanked/whipped me a bit; it was good.

“Went to a club night where there was a guy doing BDSM demos. I was in the process of discovering that part of me and figured it was a good opportunity, so asked him to (this was early in the night, just a few people in the room). He tied me facing the wall and spanked/whipped me a bit; it was good. Finished up the scene, I clambered down and turned around to see the room was now FULL of people. I made it two steps before I staggered to the ground in what felt like an orgasm, though my pants stayed dry as best as I could tell.


39. It was a Boy Scout camping trip when I was 12.

“It was a Boy Scout camping trip when I was 12, my normal tent mate wasn’t going to be there until the next day so I tented with the only 2 black kids. 1 of them was older than me; the other was younger.

It’s lights out and I’m trying to sleep. The older kid, let’s call him Jarod, starts ruffling in his sleeping bag. I look over to see what he was doing only to be greeted by his 6″ erect cock. I immediately look away while saying ‘Jarod wtf.’ At this point the younger kid looks over and very quickly looks away let’s call him Rahim. Jarod then says sorry and tells us to go asleep. I wake up a few hours later to Jarod humping me in my tent. I immediately flip him off, telling him he was waking me up making noise. He then proceeds to hop on top of me placing pressure on my dick. At that age my dick would get hard even if there was just a bit of pressure placed on it. So of course my disappointment of a dick gets hard along with his cock. At this point Rahim is staring at me with fear in his eyes. Jarod then gets off, says sorry, and says we should pray to ask God for forgiveness (we were Catholic). We say our prayers and go to bed. I wake up the next morning only to be pulled aside by Rahim telling me to never speak of the night again (he also asked if I was gay which I promptly said no to). It was later revealed that Jarod was bi and had developed a crush for me (I have no idea why; I was a fat lazy asshole.) He was later kicked out of the troop for attempting to rape another kid in the troop. This is the first time I have told this story.”


40. Fucked a bisexual friend of mine.

“Fucked a bisexual friend of mine. I was on bottom and he was riding me, I was jerking him off. I was about 17 at the time and he was 19.”


41. Once me and another dude sucked each other’s dick.

“Once me and another dude sucked each other’s dick. Wasn’t as bad as I expected, like ordinary sex, just very gay.”


42. He grabbed my head and stuck his tongue down my throat—so I punched him in his. We laughed about it afterwards.

“The first time I got drunk, my friends and I were playing ‘King’s Cup,’ if you’ve heard of that. Basically teenagers trying to work up the courage to hook up with each other by structuring it as a game. Me and my guy friend were dared to kiss. I said OK, leaned in and started to give him a slow, closed-mouth kiss. He grabbed my head and stuck his tongue down my throat—so I punched him in his. We laughed about it afterwards.”


43. I beat a gay guy at Gay Chicken.

“A friend and I went to go see I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. He brought his friend. Unbeknownst to me, his friend is gay and decided to sit between us for the movie.”

It was that high-tension courtroom scene when they’re about to kiss, friend of friend decided to put one hand on each of our thighs. Friend freaks out and pushed him away. I’ve never been one to back away from a challenge and pulled his hand up my thigh. Gay friend freaked out and pulled it away.

TL;DR beat a gay guy at Gay Chicken.”


44. My best friend and I both won/lost at Gay Chicken.

“My best friend and I both won/lost at Gay Chicken.”


45. Hanging out with my gay friend, discussing his sexual encounters, and building a giant dick in Minecraft.

“Hanging out with my gay friend, discussing his sexual encounters, and building a giant dick in Minecraft.”


46. He looks away for a second, arm still around me, then looks me straight in the eyes and says, ‘I’ve fucked a lot of straight dudes,’ and holds eye contact.

“I was at a club in the gay neighborhood with a bunch of friends (mostly straight) one night, and this guy comes up to me, puts his arm around me, and says ‘Hey how’s it —wait. You’re straight, aren’t you?’ I replied in the affirmative, and he looks away for a second, arm still around me, then looks me straight in the eyes and says, ‘I’ve fucked a lot of straight dudes,’ and holds eye contact. I started cracking up and he started laughing too before going on his way, but we gave each other the nod whenever we saw each other the rest of the night. Still one of the best lines I’ve ever heard.”


47. I worked for a construction company and my supervisor threw me up against a box and humped me. He had a raging hard-on.

“I worked for a construction company and my supervisor threw me up against a box and humped me. He had a raging hard-on. I swear, half of the guys on most construction sites are closet homosexuals that act out their repressed desires as ‘jokes.’”


48. I spooned in bed with my gay BFF.

“Sharing a bed with my gay BFF. We spooned.”


49. I drunkenly complimented an ex-roommate’s dick.

“I drunkenly complimented an ex-roommate’s dick when I went into the bathroom as he was getting out of the shower.”


50. Once gave a male friend a handjob.

“Once gave a male friend a handjob. We were both incredibly high and it didn’t feel like a sexual thing at the time just like a ‘Hey I got you’ kinda thing.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog