4. I faked being deaf.
“Faked being deaf. Turns out disabilities make a ton of guys uncomfortable. Learned that tip from my deaf cousins.”
5. I pretended to be a gay 14-year-old Korean boy.
“Some asshole who thought I was in love with him (I wasn’t) and that I was only dating my then-boyfriend for money (I wasn’t) leaked my Kik account on 4chan.
As one might expect, I was harassed for nudes by several guys so I did what any sane person would do; I changed my profile picture into a picture of a Korean musician and pretended to be a gay 14-year-old Korean boy. It actually worked.”
6. I responded to his dick pics with photos of arrows pointing at crusty dog and cat assholes.
“He discovered I was a girl in World of Warcraft. He immediately tried to join my guild (denied!) and then asked me to marry him several times. He kept sending me random crap from his inventory (because copper ore just screams ‘take me now’) with the awkward love poems only a basement-dwelling troglodyte can come up with. Again, we’d never spoken. But he wanted to marry me. So like a wise and intelligent person, I gave him my phone number.
He texted me his dick. I responded with pictures of dog/cat assholes with arrows pointing right at the crusty poopholes. Those arrows were labeled with his name. This was the only communication I ever sent him. No words. Just assholes. He gave up after about three days.”