1. I don’t have to do any work during sex.
“Being able to just appreciate being penetrated, whilst the male does the hard work. Also, there is no pressure to keep my emotions inside.”
2. People are nicer to me in general.
“I think people are nicer to women in general. People usually hold the door longer for me, are quicker to pick up things that I’ve dropped, go out of their way to get/find something that I’ve asked for.”
3. I can pretend I’m pregnant to get a bus seat.
“Sometimes I stick my stomach out really far and pretend I’m pregnant to get a seat on the bus.”
4. I can hide weed in my genitals.
“The cooter is a great place to hide your weed.”
5. The disgusting, satisfying, liberating, cleansing feeling of period shits.
“The disgusting, satisfying, liberating, cleansing feeling of period shits. Also, in a weird way, I like my period and my overall cycle.”
6. I can rest things on my boobs.
“Boobs to rest things on.”
7. I don’t have to worry about the social repercussions of farting.
“99% of the time, we don’t have to worry about the social repercussions of farting.”
8. I can cure constipation by sticking a finger in my vag.
“If I’m taking a shit and there’s that little bit thats hard to get out—you can stick a finger up your vag and push through the (fairly thin and flexible) wall between your vagina and anus and get it out.”
9. I always get offered a seat on a crowded bus.
“I’m not extremely attractive (just average), but I almost always get offered a seat on a crowded bus. Then again maybe they think I’m pregnant?”
10. No one can tell when I’m aroused in public.
“No one can tell when I’m aroused in public!”
11. No one suspects that I’m the one who farted.
“No one suspects you when you silent-but-deadly fart in a crowded room.”
12. I love the freeing of boobies from the vise that is my bra.
“The unsticking of balls can never compare to the freeing of boobies from the vise that is the bra.”
13. I can be buck-ass naked and still have a pocket.
“Hiding little things in my vag, nature’s little pocket.”
14. I can have multiple orgasms.
15. No one asks me to help them move.
“I’ve never been asked by a friend or acquaintance to give up my Saturday to help them move.”
16. Thrift stores favor me.
“Shopping at thrift stores. Women get rid of sooooo much more clothing so there’s always a giant selection for me.”
17. I can sit down to pee.
“I really appreciate sitting down to pee and if I have to poop I’m already sitting down.”
18. I can use my boobs as a smartphone stand.
“Using boobs to hold phone near my face while laying on bed so I can read if any important message arrives without moving my hands. Carrying heavy stuff but balancing the weight with my hips so it’s less heavy or rest that thing in my hip if you can’t just put in on the floor or anywhere near.”
19. I can be unemployed and not seen as a loser.
“Women can be stay-at-home-moms and not be seen as a loser. (For the most part–there’s that group who thinks it is all bonbons and soap operas, of course.)
Never thought about it until an employee at a friend’s job quit to be a stay at home dad for his toddler and elementary schooler instead of working. Apparently everyone at the job considers this man to be a big lazy loser who won’t “man up” and do “real” work, and think he’s even more of a loser because his wife had to go from working pt to ft so he could do this.
An even more unfunny thing is that the friend caught up with this guy a couple months after he left. He hates being a stay-at-home-dad and wants to go back to work.”
20. I can get a pedicure without it compromising my sexuality.
“Shaved legs is a popular one, but what about a pedicure?
There’s no better feeling than the slight arousal from that little Chinese woman whittling away at your nasty underfeets and watching the skin particles float to the floor. Its so satisfying and feels soo good. Especially when she whips out the cheese grater on those coarse puppies.
Don’t even get me started on the hot towel calf massage… Men are truly missing out.”
21. I can get horny right after cumming.
“I can jerk off and enjoy about 10 minutes of enlightenment and complete peace of mind. Then the horniness starts kicking in again.”
22. I can wear clicky heels at work.
“I get such a power trip when I’m wearing clicky heels at work.”
23. I can hide small objects in my vag.
“Being able to hide small objects in your vagina.”
24. I can shave my legs.
“Shaved legs makes wearing tighter clothing super comfortable. Lots of men think women’s tight clothing is uncomfortable, but they’re not taking into account the effect of hairless legs. For that matter, shaved legs makes loose clothing great too.”
25. I can put my hands between my boobs to warm them up.
“On those freezing cold winter nights, cleavage is warm. When my hands are cold i put them in between my boobs to warm them up. It is the best.”
26. Secret lady boners.
“Secret lady boners. No one can tell if I’m turned on or not, very useful as a stripper.”
27. I have a huge wardrobe.
“Really, the fluidity of dress. I can dress in 1940s femme fatale one moment, a sassy sundress the next, and then put on a camouflage shirt with army boots and pants without anyone turning a head. I feel like men don’t have that same flexibility.”
28. I love performing better than men at work.
“The fun part about working with sexist pigs is that, as a woman, performing just a little better than they expect is enough to impress.”
29. I shall see more blood in this life than any man.
“I shall see more blood in this life than any man.”
30. I don’t have to fix anything myself.
“Female: the ability to con a man into fixing something so we don’t have to do it ourselves or pay for someone else to it for us. For example, If I needed my windshield wipers changed and didn’t want to do it, just ask a guy to do it and most of them would be glad to help. Meanwhile, if I asked a girl for help, I would have harassed to no end. Women are bitches.”
31. I can support heavy objects on my hips.
“If I need to carry a large or heavy object, I’ll carry it with one hand and support it on my pelvis. Same with carrying babies, laundry baskets, a 30 pound box of frozen fries (I work in a kitchen) and keep my other hand free. Men use both hands.”
32. I know the baby is mine.
“Knowing you are definitely the biological parent from conception.”
33. No, seriously—I KNOW my baby would be my baby.
“I KNOW my baby would be my baby. It’s more socially acceptable for women to be adventurous with their hair and their clothes. Dressing up is way more interesting!”
34. I’ve compiled a long, long list…
“My partner and I are tiny lesbians, so we’ve compiled a long list of reasons why being small(er than the opposite sex) is one of the greatest perks of being a lady:
• We consume way less food and spend less on groceries
• Airplane seats are never too cramped
• I’ve never ‘ducked’ my way into a car
• I fit quite comfortably on a single sized bed, but we often shared one during college with minimal sacrifice. Now anything larger feels quite spacious. King sized beds are like vast kingdoms, I have to search for the edges.
• Fancy dinners only really knock us back 15 to 25 bucks each, since we can easily split an entree and the occasional dessert and feel satisfied.
• Can’t reach top shelves in grocery stores without climbing them like a freak.
• Usually takes us one to two tries each to open a jar. We pass it back and forth.
• Difficult to find convenient places to store the plethora of stools in a small apartment.
• The dude at the liquor store actually thought I might have been 14 years old.”