21. My mom complains about food to the staff in restaurants.
“My mom complains about food to the staff in restaurants. The last time we ate she ordered fish and chips, she told the waiter it looks like it’s from McDonald’s. It makes me cringe inside forever.”
22. My mom showed up to my school while I was in class to scold me for forgetting to take me ADHD medication.
“My mom showed up to my school while I was in class to scold me for forgetting to take me ADHD medication. Like full-on screaming while I sat silently in horror while my classmates laughed. She interrupted an entire class to do this. To paint a better picture, my mom is like Lois from Malcolm in The Middle.”
23. My dad pushed me off my scooter in the middle of the high street and rode off on it.
“My dad pushed me off my scooter in the middle of the high street and rode off on it. He also put rap music on his car and sang along with the windows open through the town…”
24. Dad was a snoring/farting machine.
“My dad had a form of narcolepsy; he slept everywhere he went, people would stare at him all the time. The embarrassing part of this is, when he was asleep, he would let huge farts rip with no shame sometimes. I do miss him, though, even though he was a snoring/farting machine. To be more descriptive, imagine sitting in a crowded doctor’s waiting room or some other such public places. Your father is sitting next to you, sawing logs as loud as he can, all of a sudden he leans over and lets one rip. Simultaneously he lets out a loud AWWWWWWWWWWW to trumpet his ass-jiggling flatulence. Then in the end none of this would wake him up.”
25. On the phone with my friend and my dad comes into my room to scream at me for getting period blood on my panties….after my very first period.
“TMI incoming…On the phone with my friend and my dad comes into my room to scream at me for getting period blood on my panties….after my very first period. My friend on the phone heard everything and i couldn’t even bear to keep talking, so i just hung up.”
26. Dad made his butt ‘talk’ in front of my friends.
“I was watching TV with some friends, and my dad came out of his room, stood in front of the TV with his back to us, pulled his shorts down to expose his butt, and grabbed his butt cheeks to make them ‘talk’ and say ‘I have bad breath.’”
27. My grandpa would insult other kids out loud during baseball games.
“Not my parents, but at my brother’s baseball games my grandpa will sit in the bleachers and insult the other kids out loud, oftentimes to the parents of those children themselves. Examples include ‘_____ is such a fuckin’ jerk’ or ‘He’d be a good first baseman if he didn’t suck tits.’”
28. My father wore a “Huggies #1” hat because he knew it embarrassed his sons.
“My father wore a ‘Huggies #1’ hat, like the diaper brand, that he found on the side of the road. He wore it whenever he went anywhere with me or my bros for a few years.
He did it solely because he knew it embarrassed his boys. He loved trolling us.
It’s now in his garage collecting dust, and I want it… but he won’t let me have it because ‘it’s his favorite hat’….
Oh, and he did wear it again recently when we went pier fishing on a visit. Still embarrassing, but I see the humor now, too.”
29. Mom yells at retail workers.
“I’m always humiliated when my mom yells at retail workers…or waiters…she seems to have no concept of when a problem is actually someone’s fault or not. Like, the lady behind the cash register has no control over the irregular sizing of the Old Navy jeans.”
30. My dad mowed the lawn…WITH me.
“My dad is a bit of a control freak, especially so about his lawn and garden. My father didn’t make me mow the lawn. I was not ALLOWED to. To be totally honest, by and large he didn’t like the idea of teaching me how to do any ‘man’ stuff, he’d prefer to just do it and be done with it. I am a super-advanced flashlight holder and beer fetcher, though.
One summer he had reconstructive shoulder surgery. Dad, come on, you can’t be pushing the mower around with your arm in a sling. It isn’t rocket science. I am happy to do it for you.
He hemmed and hawed for awhile but finally conceded I would probably have to do it. He gave me the the super-complicated instructions of ‘pull cord, push around in straight line’ before doing the most embarrassing thing he’s ever done to me.
He walked with me, his good hand on the mower, for the entire duration of mowing his front and back lawn.
I was like 26 at the time. TWENTY-SIX.
I was married and living on my own at the time. Also I am a dude.”