5. She cheated on my other ex with a third ex.
“My ex cheated on my other ex with a third ex so that neither of them would talk to me.”
6. He broke into my house and shot my gun into the air.
“He broke into my house, stole my gun, and then head-butted my friend in the face and shot the gun in the air. Pretty fucking strange if you ask me.”
7. She contacted me out of nowhere nearly 35 years after she left.
“She contacted me out of nowhere nearly 35 years after she left, complemented me waaaay beyond the point of reason, and talked about how great it would be to see me again. Nuh-uh. Nope nope nope. I shut that down permanently.”