51. If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends.
“If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends. And it goes both ways.”
52. Just tell us what you want to eat!
“What do you want to eat. pls.”
53. If you want us to do something, just come out and say it!
“Most of us don’t get subtle hints; if you want us to do something, just come out and say it!”
54. We hate when you keep changing your mind.
“One minute you give consent, the next you withdraw it. Make up your mind!”
55. Your enthusiasm is what makes sex good for us.
“What makes sex good? One thing more than anything. ENTHUSIASM. It doesn’t matter how hot you are if I’m banging you and you seem bored. Or if the BJ is like a chore or something. Nothing kills the mood quicker.”
56. We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING.
“We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING. No thought, no music in our head, just nothing. Complete silence in our head. It’s so calming and relaxing.”
57. If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.
“If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.”
58. We can’t predict when you’re going to act like an evil gremlin.
“I’ve never owned a gremlin, so please don’t expect me to understand your feeding patterns and be able to predict when you’re going to become an evil monster because all you’ve eaten was some Melba toast 12 hours ago.”
59. Men have a ‘C-word’ as well that we hate to have attached to us.
“Men have a ‘C-word’ as well that we hate to have attached to us. It’s called ‘Creep’ and encompasses ‘Not my type’ to ‘Level 3 sex offender’ and everything in between. It’s vastly subjective, applied liberally with very broad brushstrokes, and can occur with something as simple as looking past you to the beer menu and occasionally crossing glances. The majority of guys would really only like to: a) talk like adults, b) ask you to please step aside so we can get to the bartender, or c) continue being subconsciously aware of your existence but actively thinking about nothing. Indifference, the ultimate villainy.”
60. We want black and white, so stop giving us grey.
“I read a quote once that said something to the effect of: ‘Guys want black and white and girls can only give grey.’ Please stop making this fucking true.”