11. Rom-coms don’t work in real life.
“You know those movies where the woman is unpredictable, annoying, and generally crazy, but the man she is after falls in love with her anyway? That doesn’t work in real life. Seriously.”
12. Never, ever, EVER make fun of a man’s penis.
“Never, ever, EVER make fun of a man’s penis. It’s not a fucking game; sometimes shrinkage happens, sometimes I’m just not in the mood. I know that it’s just a game to you, but for us it’s a really big deal. Don’t know why, don’t care why, it just is.”
13. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, so I won’t treat you like a princess.
“No I won’t treat you like a princess. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, I’m looking for a life partner. My equal.”
14. If you keep asking whether we’re angry with you, eventually we will be.
“On disagreements: Sometimes a man will disagree with you. He has reasons for it. If you present an argument, and he abruptly says ‘OK, fine,’ it means you have convinced him. It probably does not mean he’s angry with you. If you then ask, ‘Are you angry at me?’ and he says no, he isn’t. But if you keep asking, then eventually he will be. Or maybe it’s just me.”
15. Don’t use sex as a weapon.
“If you weaponize sex, that’s a quick way for us to resent you. And of course if you do not want to do it you should not, but if you treat sex like it is some kind of privilege that your guy should only get it if he has been a good boy and treat it like a reward rather than a romantic and intimate activity that is equally pleasurable for the both of you, then that is a great way to kill any affection your guy has for you.”
16. We are afraid of rejection.
“Fear of rejection can be downright terrifying. I am lucky that my wife was direct and asked me out.”
17. Give us the benefit of the doubt.
“Unless we’re fighting, when we say something that can be taken one of two ways and one of the options is bad, we meant the good one.”
18. We don’t think about sex every seven seconds.
“Men don’t think about sex every 7 seconds. I read this from some women’s magazine whilst waiting in the dentist’s office. These women’s magazines’ perception of men is ridiculous.”
19. Just say, ‘Sorry, no thanks’ if you don’t want to go out with us.
“My deal is, if I ask a girl out and she’s not interested, saying, ‘Sorry, no thanks’ or a variation thereof is perfectly acceptable. I’ll be more than happy to move the fuck on.”
20. Don’t ever assume what’s going on in our minds.
“Don’t ever assume what’s going on in our mind. You might think we’re having doubts about all this and things are going to shit so you start acting like it and then it gets all messed up and it’s over. The truth is we’re probably just thinking about the last episode of Game of Thrones or something like that. If you want to know, ask!”