32. You’re not allowed to express any emotion besides happiness or contentment
“Something I have learned recently, and that has been absolutely crushing to me, is just how much a man displaying any emotion besides happiness or contentment is abhorred. I had a girlfriend and a very close female friend at the time tell me a while ago that they thought I should be more open with them, that it would be a lot healthier for me. I think they are very right about that, but it has been an awful 6 months since I started trying to be more open to my own emotions and honest with it to my friends. The people asking me to open up quickly began avoiding me, the support I received in the beginning quickly dwindled to nothing, and it just drove me into a horrid depression that I’m still not fully through. In the end, it caused me to lose one of my closest friends completely, and caused my girlfriend and I to split. The two of us are currently still friends, but nowhere near as close as we once were. The worst is how I have heard them both talk about this entire thing, the ex-friend actively ridiculing me and my ex-girlfriend not understanding what I was going through at all.
Sadness and poor mental health are so incredibly taboo for men in our society. Anger is also very taboo but somehow expected at the same time. I often hear/see people say that they wish more men would open up and be in touch with their emotions. I think they are right that it would be a good thing, but I also can’t help but think they don’t really mean it.”
33. We hardly ever get complimented
“Being complimented, for any reason, is weird. Men don’t get compliments as frequently as women do. And when we actually are complimented, we believe there might be malice or sarcasm within a compliment where none exist—simply because of the infrequency of it.”
34. The weird tangents our minds take
“The weird tangents our minds take if we’re not doing anything for a while. It’s hard to explain, but sometimes men just need to figure out an optimal strategy for defeating a 250-pound jaguar in a cage match….For the curious, I recommend pushing your non-dominant arm down its throat and grabbing its windpipe. Apply pressure with the other arm so that you strangle it from within. Your arm/shoulder will get fucked up, but you’ll survive. Don’t turn your back to it—jaguars hunt by biting through the back of the skull and destroying the brain.”
35. You just kinda feel disposable
“I don’t think women understand how much of a grind being a man can be. It can just wear you out, mentally, physically, and emotionally. You just kinda feel disposable.
As an American man the life cycle is basically: Go to school for 16 or more years, get a job, work your whole life, die.
Sometimes it seems like no matter how hard you work, there is very little recognition, celebration, or validation for your efforts. It’s just expected of you. And if you don’t like it, then your boss, or wife, or whatever will find someone who does. You’re always expected to be able to perform, whatever the task. And if you fail, you’re a disappointment. And you can’t really express frustration/emotion either. Unless it’s to someone very close to you… But even then sometimes all you get is a ‘sucks bro.’
Or if you don’t meet certain milestones, you’re a failure. No degree? No house? No car? Don’t have a good job? Why not? I don’t think I’m speaking for others when I say there’s a real fear that if you’re not ‘successful’, you won’t be considered attractive as a mate.
And as a man it’s ‘your job’ to take the initiative on everything and it’s incredibly taxing. Especially when every relationship you’ve had has involved you being hurt. Whether it’s rejection, lying, abuse, manipulation, etc.
Of course I can only speak out of my own experiences… But, after a while sometimes I just kinda want to give up.”
36. The agony of balding
“The toll that balding takes on a man’s emotional health.”
37. Guys have ZERO emotional support structure
“Guys have zero emotional support structure. Like, fuck. Anytime I try to tell anyone I have real emotions or opinions I get shot down to the point where I don’t really feel safe talking to anyone anymore.
It’s easily the largest problem in my life, and from what I understand, I lot of guys have to deal with it through out their entire teenage/young adult life.”
38. We can be incredibly emotional or philosophical
“How incredibly emotional or philosophical men can be. What she sees: me sitting on the lawnmower. What I’m actually doing: I wonder what happens when I die.”
39. Sexism goes both ways
“That sexism is a double-edged sword. With the success of female emancipation during the last century, western society as a whole became more aware of the prejudice and discrimination women are facing, and thus gradually worked towards providing women with equal opportunities and respect. Awareness has been raised, and the whole societal environment changed because of that. However, because men previously had superior roles assigned by birth, it was generally assumed that they have no problems to complain about because of their given ‘privilege.’ But with a change in the societal environment, the public view and treatment of men should change accordingly. We have emotions and feelings too, and the desire to express them lies within our nature. Not every man is a predator of offender by default, and while i don’t want to deny the atrocities committed by my ancestors, prejudice and discrimination are universal, and not bound by gender. The war is over. We no longer have to hide our burden in order to ensure survival, but we do need encouragement to break with these traditions for ourselves.”