101 Hilariously Shitty Ideas That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

Flickr Moanaipo
Flickr Moanaipo

1.

“Avoid your period by getting pregnant.”

2.

“President Trump.”

3.

“Ask someone to go on a double date with you, then show up with your date and ask them ‘where’s yours?’”

4.

“Create a law that when someone is caught with drugs on them, they have to consume the entire amount, no matter how much it is.”

5.

“Alcohol-free vodka.”

6.

“Flip your condoms inside out when you’re done to get twice the use.”

7.

“Move to America in search of safety.”

8.

“Develop a crush on someone.”

9.

“Type your career resume in multicolored Comic Sans.”

10.

“Conserve water by never drinking.”

11.

“A game that combines the speed of baseball with the thrill of golf.”

12.

“Check to see if your fire alarm works by setting your house on fire.”

13.

“Superglue everything important (such as your phone, keys and wallet) to yourself so you never lose them.”

14.

“Beauty hack: Light your lips on fire to make them fuller and pinker!”

15.

“Mein Kampf the musical.”

16.

“Do meth instead of math.”

17.

“If you do all your driving lessons and pass your test whilst drunk, you should be legally allowed to drunk drive.”

18.

“Tattoo your Social Security number on your hand so you never forget it.”

19.

“Begin every sentence with ‘plot twist.’”

20.

“Grab the first person you see after reading this, and punch them in the face.”

21.

“Sandpaper condoms.”

22.

“Put toothpaste on your breakfast so you can skip brushing your teeth.”

23.

“Play charades with a group of blind friends.”

24.

“Drink a whole bottle of mouthwash for minty fresh breath that lasts all day!”

25.

“Cripple yourself to use accessible parking spaces.”

26.

“Cut off every limb and replace them with penises.”

27.

“Pretend to be a race horse so you can get spanked by the jockeys.”

28.

“Save money on interior decorating by using hundred-dollar bills instead of wallpaper.”

29.

“A soup kitchen called: The Broth-ell.”

30.

“Let Jesus take the wheel while going 80mph.”

31.

Make all big decisions in life by flipping a coin.”

32.

““Shave really quickly and use no shaving cream.”

33.

“Play the piano in a marching band.”

34.

“If your computer freezes, set it on fire.”

35.

“Allow people to have a temporary driver’s license so we can judge whether or not they’re good enough to do the driving test.”

36.

“Have your kids litter-trained…because nothing is more annoying than cleaning pee off the toilet seat.”

37.

“Take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.”

38.

“New totally gender – and animacy-neutral pronoun she/he/it = shit.”

39.

“A spelling test that listed all the words you had to spell.”

40.

“Ask Donald Trump for hairstyling advice.”

41.

“Tequila-flavored water for alcoholics who just can’t get enough.”

42.

“Individually packaged peanuts.”

43.

“Jump off of a cliff to give the pick-up line “I’m falling for you” a more realistic effect.”

44.

“Funeral-themed wedding.”

45.

“Instead of pockets, use your butthole.”

46.

“Shit your pants at a job interview, then clean it up to show off your problem solving skills.”

47.

“Hand hurts? Cut it off, it’ll never hurt again.”

48.

“Put a teabag in your mouth, then pour in the boiling water.”

49.

“Party idea: water balloons filled with wet angry bees.”

50.

“Fake pockets.”

51.

“A pen that makes you do all of your writing in Comic Sans.”

52.

“Catch a fever to stay warm this winter.”

53.

“Donald Trump Fleshlight.”

54.

“Body-odor-scented deodorant.”

55.

“All-You-Can-Eat delivery.”

56.

“Want to ace that job interview? Turn it into a staring contest….”

57.

“A yellow pages style book with information on thieves, drug dealers, etc.”

58.

“Install carpet in every bathroom (even in the shower).”

59.

“A meth lab-scented perfume.”

60.

“Wear a GoPro at all times and stream the video to the Internet.”

61.

“Invisible hair coloring.”

62.

“All malls and stores start putting up Christmas decorations today.”

63.

“Glass-toe boots. Just like steel or composite, but with glass.”

64.

“Build an oven out of wood.”

65.

“Go after some jailbait to see whether the government is tracking you.”

66.

“A mp3 to video converter.”

67.

“Start selling drugs and advertise in the classified section of your local newspaper.”

68.

“Use the share button on RedTube.”

69.

“Mend broken limbs with casts made of cement.”

70.

“Use the the girls from ‘2 girls, 1 cup’ as spokespeople for mouthwash.”

71.

“Organ rental service.”

72.

“Tape where neither side is sticky.”

73.

“Saran wrap condoms.”

74.

“Keep all your lights on during the day and off at night.”

75.

“Unsweetened sugar.”

76.

“Use actual menstruating women for maxi-pad commercials.”

77.

“Link your Tumblr blog on all your college apps.”

78.

“Empty your waterbed then fill it with gravel.”

79.

“A wildlife show where the host is a nudist that attempts to have sex with wild animals.”

80.

“Grape-flavored orange juice.”

81.

“Garlic-flavored gum.”

82.

“A deck of playing cards printed on both sides.”

83.

“Get a tattoo done in pencil so you can erase it if you change your mind.”

84.

“Keep all your faucets and showers running so you don’t have to keep turning them on and off.”

85.

“Fill your bagpipes with water in case you get thirsty.”

86.

“Sell your car for gas money.”

87.

“Sue your parents for your bad genes.”

88.

“Dick-flavored condoms.”

89.

“Compare fork sizes by seeing which one fits the best into an electric socket.”

90.

“Use frozen raw chicken chunks as ice cubes.”

91.

“Get smart by hitting yourself with a dictionary.”

92.

“Strip naked every time it rains for a free shower.”

93.

“Use duct tape and glue to wax body hair.”

94.

“Wanna be Spider-Man? Put superglue on your fingers and climb the nearest tall building structure.”

95.

“Spray Febreze up your anus so that your farts smell good!”

96.

“Fuck a tree so then your children will be trees and live forever.”

97.

“Have a screaming contest with a baby….”

98.

“Eat a burrito the same way you would eat corn on the cob.”

99.

“Smooth and repair scratched discs by using sandpaper.”

100.

“Adopt a ‘spitters are quitters’ approach when it comes to chewing gum.”

101.

“Tired and thirsty from practicing trombone all day? Tip your trombone upwards for a delicious drink!” TC mark

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  • http://ayitl.wordpress.com ayitl

    multicoloured comic sans looooool

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