9. Her boyfriend beat me up and she gave me chlamydia
“I was in my early 20s and had just had a kid. The mother and I lived together but were not dating and had separate bedrooms. I found it impossible to date under those circumstances, so I followed one of those links and ended up on sexsearch.com. I believe I paid $30 for a month.
I can’t remember how many random people I talked to. Mostly they didn’t reply, because I didn’t want to use my picture on the website. When I found the woman I went to prom with on the website, it reaffirmed my caution. (I didn’t message her.)
Anyway, I finally found someone who had pictures that I couldn’t believe were possibly real. She was REALLY, REALLY good-looking, thin, great smile. We started a conversation, and though there wasn’t much substance, we moved toward the inevitable ‘we gon’ fuck’ moment while I looked for any signs that it was a bot. I think I decided I believed she was a person when she reminded me she owns a gun as we were meeting up.
So we agreed to meet at a park in the middle of the night. Now, I very easily could’ve been murdered, and I was aware of that at the time, but I hadn’t had sex in like a year so at that point I was basically ready to die. But seriously, never underestimate how fucking stupid someone is willing to be when they want to have sex. Anyway, I drove and parked and met her on the sidewalk, and what the fuck dude she was as hot as her pictures. Just fucking gorgeous.
We went into the park and laid down a blanket she had brought and, yeah, we had sex. And she told me to tell her I loved her, so I did, and that was my first inclination that something might be kinda fucked up here.
We finished and left just as it was getting light in the morning, with each other’s phone numbers, and she called me a few weeks later and asked me to come over to her house. It was at this point that I learned she had three kids of her own (though I could kinda tell from stretch marks), and through talking to her, I learned that she worked at a phone sex hotline. She apparently would leave work super horny a lot of the time, including the night she met up with me. What I didn’t learn at that time was that she still had a boyfriend and that he lived with her.
So I come over to her house, and the kids are gone, and we have sex. And this becomes something of a regular thing, and I should fucking know better because she keeps peeking out windows and telling me to leave quickly, but it’s good sex other than her insisting that I tell her I love her the entire time, which, yeah, it’s hard to have sex with someone on the regular without developing feelings, so I didn’t feel so bad about it after a while. Have I mentioned I’m a scumbag?
So, one time we’re having sex, and I hear the door starting to be unlocked. I’m like, ‘Who’s that?’ And she panics and says, ‘My boyfriend.’ And I’m like ‘What?’ The door opens and this beefy Asian dude comes in and says, ‘Are you [my name]?’ Dude straight up knew my name. I said ‘Yes.’ She’s stammering that we’re just hanging out and nothing’s happening. (We had our clothes back on by the time he came in and were sitting on opposite sides of the room.) This dude proceeds to walk up and start punching me in the head.
Here’s the weirdest thing. I’m not sure if he sucked at punching or if it was adrenaline, but I didn’t feel a damn thing. He was just bouncing my head around with his fists and I was sitting there with my arms up in a feeble defense and he was just going at it. I made literally no attempt to fight back because, on some level, I was aware that I was fucking this dude’s girlfriend and this was, y’know, a pretty appropriate reaction on his part. Eventually he stops punching, I think because I’m just standing there, not reacting at all to his punches, and he’s hyperventilating with the meanest look on his face I’ve ever seen. I say, ‘Okay, I’m gonna go.’
I walk out the front door, she leans out after me and says, ‘I’m sorry, we can’t be friends anymore’ and closes the door.
I believe it’s like two years before she called me again, to tell me that she was depressed and lonely and wanted to meet up, and it somehow came out that the dude who had punched me, the father of her children, had been killed in a hit and run and that she was now a stripper. So, we did it one last time for old time’s sake. She dropped a bag of crack on the floor of my living room and then asked if I wanted it. I was like ‘No thanks,’ and that was when I decided definitively not to hook up with her anymore.
Also, she gave me chlamydia.”