LIVE SEX SHOW: 25 People Describe The Freakiest NSFW Thing They Ever Saw In Public

istockphoto.com / Epicurean
istockphoto.com / Epicurean
Found on AskReddit.

1. A GUY SHOVING HARD BOILED EGGS UP HIS RECTUM

“A guy shoving hard boiled eggs up his rectum. It was Mardi Gras in New Orleans. There was a very…supportive crowd. It was broken up by police on horseback. I wonder what he has planned for Easter.”


2. TINY FAT DICK IN A WRINKLED SKELETON’S MOUTH

“I was staying at my friends’ flat. They lived in a district where….Well, whole neighborhood was NSFW. We were having a dinner and I heard some noise behind the door. They warned me not to look, but I did. I saw a fat guy, pants down, and a really ugly old hooker on her knees, blowing him. His tiny fat dick… And her ugly skinny skeleton-like wrinkled face, and a dirty old T-shirt she was wearing…Christ, I will never unsee this.”


3. A GUY SUCKING HIS OWN BALLS AT A CONCERT

“Saw a guy sucking his own balls at an Aquabats concert. I snapped a picture of it for some reason. Obviously NSFW: http://i.imgur.com/2uuKjqm.jpg.”


4. HOMELESS BLOWJOB WHILE POOPING

“Walking to the train in Chicago after a concert. Saw a man facing the street in a sitting position against a wall. That man was homeless looking and getting a blowjob from another homeless guy while pooping. First, shouldn’t this happen in an alley? Second, I didn’t really think a guy could poop while getting a BJ. Guess I never thought about it until then.”


5. ELDERLY MASTURBATING BICYCLIST

“Some old dude wanking it while riding a bike.”


6. JERKOFF IN THE BUSHES

“A guy ‘hidden’ in the bushes, fapping to a passing-by girl.”


7. INTERRACIAL LOVE MEAL AT SIX FLAGS

“When I was 9 I saw a chick giving a guy a BJ at Six Flags. In one of the queues of an old ride that NOBODY uses anymore, there is a little area sort of hidden. Well I wanted to ride the Screamin’ Eagle and as I make my way to the ride, 9-year-old me who just loves sight seeing happened to walk in on an interracial love meal.”


8. HOMELESS THREESOME

“I used to live next to a park, you were able to see the park from my kitchen window and a couple other windows in the house. My mom was doing dishes one day and from my room I hear her yell ‘WHAT THE FUCK!’ I rush over and there is a homeless threesome just 20 feet from my window.”


9. MY DAD’S GIBLETS FLOPPING ON THE BEACH

“My mom and dad playing tag with a bunch of other naked couples on a nude beach. I looked up and saw my dad’s giblets flopping as he yelled to a naked man ‘you’re it.’ Ruined my sandcastle building experience.”


10. A MAN SUCKLING A PREGNANT CAT

“About 10 years ago in the Quartier Latin in Paris, I saw a homeless man sat in the middle of a pedestrianized street suckling a pregnant cat. He held it in two hands and buried his face in those milky catty titties.”


11. REMOTE CONTROL VIBRATOR

“On the commute into London, I sat opposite a man and a woman who were obviously a couple. The woman kept acting slightly fidgety, and making muffled yelps every now and then. I kept glancing over out of the corner of my eye, and it wasn’t until we were halfway through the journey that I saw what the man had in his hand—one of those small, pink, remote control devices that I guess paired with whatever vibrating sex toy the woman had down her drawers. Didn’t actually get to ‘see’ anything directly I guess, though she had troubles standing up to get off the train at the final station.”


12. BUTT CHEEKS SMASHED ON A WINDOW

“Once when I was 16 me and my family were driving out of a car park when I noticed a naked guy with his butt cheeks smashed on to the window on the 3rd floor in the hotel across the street. You could see everything. I mean EVERYTHING. Every time I walk or drive past that hotel the memory comes up. It still haunts me to this day.”


13. SIDE TIT

“Once a 20-something woman came into my store to shop wearing a tank top and a small jacket. Noticed as she walked by that her whole tit was out on one side. No kid in sight, so I’m assuming it was accidental. No clue how she didn’t notice. Had nice tits, tho.”


14. ‘I’M A PRIEST’

“I was once approached by a homeless guy (a young one, in his mid-20s, approximately) who engaged me in conversation. He eventually asked if I had a girlfriend, and I said I didn’t. He then asked me if I was gay, and I said yes. His response: ‘Great, because I’m already hard.’ Whereupon he pulled down his trackie bottoms and whipped out the largest erection I’ve ever seen. This was about 4am, on the busiest street in Dublin, with literally hundreds of people walking past or waiting for taxis or whatever. Being thoroughly British, as I am, I tried to think of a polite way to get him to put it away, as he was just standing there holding it and looking at me expectantly. So I told him I was celibate, but he didn’t understand the word. So, in desperation, I blurted out: ‘I’m a priest.’ At which point he sheathed his cock and pummeled me with ecumenical questions for about 25 minutes, and called me ‘Father’ the whole time.”


15. BJ IN MCDONALD’S PARKING LOT

“Saw a guy getting a BJ in a McDonald’s car park in France in the middle of the day with a lot of kids playing in the McDonald’s playground about 10ft away.”


16. A BRIEF FULL FLASH OF HER PUSSY

“Once when I was at an outdoor swimming pool in my tweens we were in a mixed group playing with big inflatable tires in the water close to me. One of the girls climbed on top near me and her bikini bottom got briefly stuck on the valve, giving me a brief full flash of her pussy. The image was burned in my mind, and years and years of masturbating to the image has not diminished the hotness of the situation.”


17. SUCK IT, BABY BIRD

“I once got lost in Acapulco with some friends so when we noticed we where driving through a tolerance zone (where prostitution is allowed in Mexico), there were a few cantinas, prostitutes and then we saw a really really wasted creepy old lady yelling at cars passing by and spreading her vagina (not a nice one) wildly open, she was shouting ‘chúpale pichón!’ (Something like ‘suck it baby bird’)…Here’s a drawing of how I recall it: http://imgur.com/rtdbh92.”


18. LIVE INTERCOURSE FOR THE DINNER CROWD

“My family and I went on holiday to Turkey to an all inclusive hotel which was directed towards families. There was a Russian couple with children who had a ground floor room with a ground floor balcony which happened to be on the main route to the restaurant. Well, one night, for some reason, they thought it would be appropriate to tell their kids to stay inside the room and close the curtains to the balcony while they did the dirty on the balcony. Pretty much everyone going to dinner saw, literally everyone.”


19. LIKE SHE WAS POLISHING A GODDAMN OSCAR AWARD WITH HER TONGUE

“While I was a delivery driver at Pizza Hut in undergrad, a dude and his GF came in and placed a carry-out order. We told them the standard ’15-20 min’ and then left. As I was walking to my car to take a delivery, I see them in their car, and she’s giving him a BJ. Not even discreet, either. Like, windows down, and she’s treating this thing like she’s polishing a goddamn Oscar award with her tongue. He nodded at me, I nodded at him, and I went on my delivery.”


20. EJACULATION ON A GIRL’S HEAD AT A CONCERT

“I was about 13 and at a Pearl Jam concert with my older sister where everyone was drinking and smoking in the audience so not everyone was in the right mindset. During an intermission this frat looking guy sneaks up behind a group of girls who were sitting on blanket right in front of us (outdoor concert) with his dick hanging out and jerking it. He stands there for about 20 seconds just beating it before he cums on the back of one of the girl’s head and she turns around and goes WTF before some random guy just runs over and socks the dude who was beating off. Suddenly 3 giant tattooed security guys run up and just start beating the crap out of the jerk off guy on the ground while the girls friends are trying to help her get cum out of her hair.”


21. OLD MAN BALLS

“Old man balls. I worked at a go cart track with an arcade behind the ticket counter when I was 15. Little boy was turning in tickets and his grandpa put a leg up on one of our stocking stools. He had on super short gym shorts and they fell out. They were awful and I almost screamed. That was the first time I saw balls.”


22. …THEN THE COP PULLED UP

“Saw a guy getting some dome in his car as I was waiting to cross the street. He looks over at me and gives me this grin and a thumbs up, which I politely return the favor. I see this police cruiser coming up alongside his driver-side and so I am waving him off, like a base coach waiving off a run. He just starts waiving back at me with his left hand and cell phone, pushing the lady’s head down on his lap and still shit-eating-grinning. The cop pulls up, and the guy sees him and instantly snaps to looking to the right and puts his entire right arm over the lady’s head, and then in a moment of pure genius places his left hand, with his cell phone, to his ear and begins pretending to talk to someone…yes, the cop pulled him over, and I’m assuming it was for talking on his cell phone. I didn’t get to see what happened after, except the officer standing by his door just kinda looking down and staring, with his hands on his hips, pad of tickets in his right-hand flailing in the wind hilariously. I’ll never forget that, it was amazing, like a real-life comedy movie scene playing out in front of me.”


23. I SAW THE FIRST SHAVED HOT PUSSY LIVE IN MY LIFE

“When I was like 16, I went to my cousin to Belgium. We decided to drive to Antwerpen City with some friends. Hot summer day in the bus, when a very hot girl with a skirt entered the bus and sat down. At that moment a strong wind came up and took her skirt up in the air. This moment, dear friends, I saw the first shaved hot pussy live in my life. No pants, awesome NSFW moment.”


24. CAR TRUNK INTERCOURSE IN A SLOWLY MOVING CAR

“Saw a lady in the trunk of a car, with her ass hanging out and a guy walking behind the slowly moving car, humping the lady.”


25. I JUST WALKED AWAY

“I had a really gross, greasy, unwashed childhood friend with a square head who unfortunately hung on a bit longer than childhood. She smelled bad and probably knew no one liked her, because she was also a bitch. I once walked out of a seafront nightclub to see her being shoved up against the seawall being violently fingered by a chavvy stranger. She tried to have a normal conversation with me, wearing a slight, oily, triumphant smirk, while he went for gold. I just walked away.” TC mark

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