1. I always think about the second season of Dexter
“I don’t know why but I always think about the second season of Dexter. A lot of pretty intense shit went down.”
2. I do NOT need to fart!
“NO! I do NOT need to fart!”
3. Dear condom, please do not fall off like last time
“Dear condom, please do not fall off like last time. Please do not fall off like last time.”
4. Math lasts forever. Me? Not so much
“A little weird but…x plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four a c, all over two a. Math lasts forever. Me? Not so much.”
“I think about…What her facial expressions mean…Go slower. That means faster! Oh no I’m too deep…she wants to change positions. Alright we changed. Fuck I did leg day yesterday my legs are so sore! This position burns like hell….ENDURE! Endure the leg burn! Oh wow I had to come but that intense leg pain got rid of it. I wonder if she’s enjoying this as much as she could be…What could I do better…oh yeah she loves this one thing! Fuck yeah it worked she’s going crazy. Oh Kay I want to come…time to get her off. Hmm. She tasted better when I did this before we fucked. Does that mean I taste bad? No. I think it’s just a combination and more of her juices are coming out. Alright come on come on. Fuck NO DON’T COME YET SHE NEEDS TO FIRST. Think about something else…Fuck Fuck ( I’m a bartender so I usually think about drink recipes) Fuck yeah she came! Woo woo now my turn. Fuck she keeps quivering I can’t quite get it….Alright I’m going to do doggy and then go as deep as I can. I love that position, makes me come very hard every time. Don’t lose it Don’t lose it Don’t lose it DontloseitDontloseitDontloseitDontloseit. YES YES YES HERE WE GO! Should I try to come in her mouth…she said she would not mind…..FUCK I LOST IT….repeat the above step and finish…It’s along those lines but usually different. This was me last night.”
6. Trump and sanders in ‘pirates of penzance’
“Bernie Sanders and Donald J. Trump performing an unabridged performance of The Pirates of Penzance.”
7. If I’m trying to last a little longer I usually think about my wife
“If I’m trying to last a little longer I usually think about my wife.”
8. Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!
“Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!”
9. I’m pretty sure she told me she was on the pill
“I’m pretty sure she told me she was on the Pill.”
10. I wonder how difficult ships have it when they dock and if it is more difficult when it storms
“I often get lost in my head and think about all kinds of things. Mostly metaphors for sex. I wonder how difficult ships have it when they dock and if it is more difficult when it storms. How do they do it? I’ve always wanted to be on a boat, a big one, during a storm. Speaking of storms, don’t you just love the wetness of rain? When it’s not cold, but warm rain during the summer, feels really nice. I wish it was summer and raining outside. Oh yes, where am I? Cumming.”
11. I spend my time reading the covers of X-Men and The Avengers while dick-deep in pussy
“My girlfriend has a whole wall of Marvel and DC comics and another wall to posters of famous Classic Rock groups. So I spend my time reading the covers of X-Men and The Avengers while dick-deep in pussy.”