Thought Catalog

35 Hilarious Porn Movie Clichés

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(YouTube)
(YouTube)
Found on AskReddit.

1. Walk in on someone masturbating. Instantly both want sex with the other.

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2. Cheerleaders can’t shower without having a lesbian orgy.

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3. Awkward conversation and zero chemistry lead to immediate sex.

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4. Fellating a strap-on is somehow pleasurable for both parties.

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5. Order pizza and don’t have money? Just fuck the delivery driver instead of just not ordering pizza. Someone needs to tell people to stop ordering pizza when you can’t afford it or tell Papa Johns to start accepting snatch cards as a preferred way of payment.

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6. Naive little babysitter: “No one’s ever touched me down there.” You have four vaginal piercings.

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7. Oh, look, the Plumber’s here, I hope he’ll fix the sink….Oh no! The Plumber’s penis slipped into me!

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8. A burglar has broken into my house, but they are attractive. Better have sex with them to…punish them?

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9. There’s a nice comfortable bed there, let’s do it on a kitchen stool.

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10. 18 to 20 years old: barely legal. 21 or older: MILF.

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11. Taxi driver says he doesn’t have change. Better fuck him to pay this £5 fare.

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12. All virgins have two ponytails or pigtails and wear white long socks.

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13. If you watch your stepparent in the shower, it will end in shower sex.

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14. 19-year-old girls still need babysitters.

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15. All women are lesbians by default until a penis is present in the room.

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16. We really shouldn’t—therefore we should.

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17. If a girl is reluctant or forced to have sex, she will start to enjoy it anyway in 4-5 minutes.

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18. If you are a young male doing anything to help an older, attractive woman around her house, she will repay you with sex.

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19. Jasmine James discovers a burglar in her house. Decides to blow him to get revenge on the husband.

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20. Mother catches daughter masturbating. Mother: “We should have crazy lesbian threesome sex with my MILF friend.”

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21. Women actually like to have a penis shoved in their throats, and the dry-heaving comes from excitement!

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22. Here, let me suck your dick immediately after it’s been balls-deep in my asshole.

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23. If I walk in on my best friend having sex with his girlfriend he’ll have no problem whatsoever with me waltzing over and popping my cock in her mouth.

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24. There’s always a hot woman desperate for sex in the home you’re about to do work on.

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25. It’s our wedding day; let’s consummate the marriage with your friends, too!

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26. Libraries are completely devoid of anyone, besides the guy ass-fucking the woman on one of the tables.

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27. Every girl loves it when you jack off on their face.

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28. Lesbians decide to have sex with lucky man.

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29. Woman discovers pervert spying on her. Decides to punish him by having sex with him.

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30. That random woman at the bar over there will totally enjoy if you come up behind her, hitch up her skirt, and stick your dick in her ass without so much as a hello. You know, because rape totally isn’t a thing.

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31. Obviously one of these days I’ll wake up to my girlfriend’s little sister trying to seduce me in my own bed.

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32. Whenever your girlfriend’s mom walks in on you two banging, it’s always going to end up in a three way. Every time.

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33. Keep swapping between my asshole and vagina; it’s definitely not unhygienic.

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34. Everyone is willing to cheat on their SO if you ask them two or three times, but never once.

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35. Just the entire mindset. Everyone fucks everyone, zero consequences. Walk in on your aunt flicking the bean? Get out your dick, it’s MILF time! Uncle walks in? Is he pissed? Maybe for the eight seconds he takes to get his dick out and join in! Teacher alone with student? Someone’s taking a dick. Unless the teacher and student are both women, then it’s awkward ‘lesbian’ sex. At least until the husband comes home. Then of course it’s dick for everyone!! Housewives fuck pizza boys, bosses fuck copy girls, brothers, sisters, cops, Indian Chiefs. Honestly, if the real world were anything like porn inheritance law would be a nightmare, STDs would have evolved intelligence by now and man would still be living in grass huts because no fucking carpenter can go an hour without being pounced on by a lonely wife, who was fucking her nephew fifteen minutes ago, so I can’t really say why she’s so lonely. TC mark

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