“Gonna use a fake name here because she’d probably shoot me in the head if she heard me saying this, but I don’t think my girlfriend had the best toilet training, OK? She’s beautiful and has a body like a race car, but I don’t think anyone told her how to wipe herself. Or maybe they told her to wipe from back to front. There’s this overwhelming stench of dookie down there like a brown cloud. I’d seriously rather take out the trash than ever perform oral sex on her again.”
7. My forearm.
“I just licked my forearm, and yep—this is exactly what my girlfriend’s pussy tastes like. It’s like skin with a little bit of sweat. Nothing to write home about, but nothing to complain about, either.”
8. It depends on her cycle.
“Usually she’s just a tad salty and musky, but if she’s on her period, there’s this whole added dimension of raw liver which ain’t exactly a turn-on. I hate eating liver. I’d give a kidney just to never have to eat liver again.”
9. Shrimp dripping in warm butter.
“I know there’s the whole cliché about pussy tasting like ‘hot tuna’ or just seafood in general, but in my girl’s case I’ve narrowed it down very specifically to the delectable oceanic crustacean known to us as the humble shrimp dripping in warm butter. My beloved tastes like a big plate of shrimp, and that’s all right with me!”