10 Men Describe The Difference Between Orgasming From Sex And Masturbation

Twenty20.com livjess
Twenty20.com livjess

1. It’s like the difference between reality…and reality TV.

“The difference between jerking off with your hand and having sex with a gorgeous woman is the difference between watching a high-speed car chase on TV and BEING in a high speed car chase in real life. Masturbation? Ha—it’s only make-believe! I like my sex to be real—there’s more adrenaline, all your senses are on high alert, and your heart beats faster. No contest. If you can’t get fucked, I guess you’ll have to go fuck yourself. If you jerk off too much, you’re going to get a reputation as a jerkoff.”

—Rico, 24

2. I know my dick better than any woman ever will.

“I am the captain of my own ship. There isn’t a girl in the world who’s going to know my dick better than I do. When you touch someone else, you don’t know what they’re feeling—which is completely unlike when you’re touching yourself. A woman can sometimes punch around in the dark and hit the bulls-eye, but I own the equipment and wield it like a Jedi lightsaber. So there’s no comparison—count me as a member of #TeamJerkoff.”

—Kyle, 23

3. Nothing feels better than a ripe, juicy pussy.

“I’ve never found a lotion or lube on Earth that feels as good as a ripe, juicy pussy. Not even a grapefruit or a cantaloupe, and yes, I’ve tried both, thank you oh so very much for asking. I’d been jerking off for about four straight years through my teens before I ever got the chance to stick it inside a girl. The minute I was ‘in,’ it was like, ‘OK, this is where my dick belonged the whole time.’ Mother Nature knows what she’s doing. It’s how the species has survived—because a wet pussy feels so much better than your bony, awkward, freckled hand.”

—Doug, 31

4. My hand never gets bitchy.

“My hand has never nagged me about taking out the trash, given me shit because I forgot its sister’s birthday, ordered the most expensive drink at the bar eight times because it knew I’d pay for it, never woke up with bad breath in a shitty mood and yelled at me because I reminded it of its father, and—most importantly—my hand has never rolled over, turned away, and refused giving me sex. Are you kidding? My hand never ruins the mood just by existing in the same room as me, so the orgasms are always better with my hand.”

—Curtis, 29

5. Masturbation is too humiliating to be very good.

“I would rather be spotted having sex with some half-human/half-marsupial elderly she-beast who lives under a bridge, eats dirt, and flosses her teeth with used toilet paper than to be spotted masturbating alone at home in front of my computer. Masturbation is great—when you’re 13. But after that if you have to resort to touching yourself, it calls your very worth as a sexual partner into question. You’re at the low end of the sexual food chain—below blow-up dolls, then prostitutes, then real live consenting women. When I masturbate—which is woefully often—all I can think about is the fact that I’m not getting laid. This makes for orgasms that are so weak, they almost feel like apologies.”

—Jedediah, 19

6. Sex makes me feel too vulnerable for it to be very good.

“I’ve never had a complaint in bed, and girls always shower me with compliments about my, eh, ‘techniques’?—but I always have been, and probably always will be, incredibly self-conscious when I’m naked with another person. Not only do I feel physically naked, I feel emotionally naked—almost as if I’m allowing a hacker to scan my brain for incriminating evidence. Yeah, I know this is a psychological problem, but until I work out the kinks in my head, I will always find it easier and more satisfying to cum when I’m all by my lonesome. Of course I’d never tell a girl that, because she’d take it personally, start feeling as self-conscious as I do, and make intercourse even worse for me.”

—Billy, 26

7. The orgasm is much more powerful during sex—which is why I fall asleep right afterward.

“I can masturbate seven times in one day and still be fully functional—I’ll wipe up, lift weights, go jogging, get groceries, talk a walk near the river, pet a stranger’s poodle, engage in idle chitchat with a group of tourists, read a book—but the minute I have an orgasm from intercourse, I’m snoring until dawn. Obviously post-intercourse orgasms flood my brain with enough endorphins to knock out an elephant.”

—Ace, 22

8. Depends on the woman.

“It depends totally on how much I’m into the woman I’m having sex with. It can be either better than masturbating or worse. She, and she alone, is the wild card who determines the difference. Like an IQ test, let’s set the baseline for orgasm-through-masturbation at 100. Depending on the woman, my orgasm during intercourse can range from a MENSA member to mildly retarded.”

—Johnny, 21

9. The only thing you smell during masturbation is your own body odor.

“Humans are animals, and animals are more strongly driven by their sense of smell than by any other sense—especially when it comes to sex. Unless you have some kind of pervy memento like her used panties, you can’t smell a girl’s pheromones while you’re touching yourself. That kills it for me. It’s like trying to watch a movie while blindfolded.”

—Kev, 22

10. When I’m jerking off, I control the entire experience like I’m a movie director.

“Unlike real sex, there are no sudden unwanted sights, smells, sounds, or other things that offend your senses. Unlike real sex, she doesn’t suddenly stop doing that thing that almost made you cum because she really doesn’t have a clue what she’s doing. Unlike real sex, there’s no required dinner, foreplay, and cuddling afterward. You guide the entire experience like you’re a film auteur. If I girl I’m fantasizing about can’t push me over the edge, I can just swap her out for another one—and another. And then ten more. And then a hundred of them, naked and singing in a choir. I don’t care how hot a girl is—my imagination can always do her one better.”

—Cory, 24 TC mark

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